At my wits end with oversharing colleague

[Jadee78]

I’ve a female colleague who over the past 18 months has shared every detail of her marriage breakdown, subsequent divorce and more recently, her dating woes.

We are in a team of 10, but we’re remotely managed so our manager is only on site once a week and its usually the day my colleague doesn’t work.

I am all for getting along with my colleagues. But am I wrong for finding this latest conversation a step too far?

She has been seeing a younger man (30 - she’s mid 40’s). Last night, they spent the night together. We’d been told all day yesterday how she was nervous and she was working herself up about it.

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

One or two colleagues entertain her but I’m sick of it now.

AIBU to say something the next time she is so crude in front of me?

That’s massively inappropriate to discuss in the office. I’d speak to your manager, or maybe to her directly if you are brave enough. I can’t believe someone would share that detail in a workplace. If I heard one of my team discussing that, they’d be pulled in for a chat.

YABU to wait until the next time - just have a quiet word with her now. And not in the heat of the moment next time (when there may be your other colleagues around)

God is your colleague my mother???

I had a complete stranger, some old lady, come up to me in public and out on nowhere to my face judge my financial choices, medical decisions and my relationship troubles!

My dad said as a kid we had people gossip and make fun of us where we lived and church we went to and how one couple literally pulled him away and said you have got to shut her up! Every single time tiny thing that goes in your home she runs and tells people! It’s embrassing your family,

I saw her Facebook messages once. It was those people who live abroad who we met on holiday, who we talk to once a year and we exchange Christmas wishes once a year with. Long Paragraphs and paragraphs and paragraphs, of how her husband cheated on her, child he fathered and nasty dirty details of the affair and fights they had during their marriage. The people didn’t reply, imagine getting message out of nowhere from people you barely know like this one day. Ridiculous

last straw was when last time she went around telling people I never even met and people she not even close with (woman she recently met in her French class) at how much money I have in the bank, investments and my safe at home!!!!!! And jewellery. And That I’m worried about going on a trip out of town as ive been having trouble with my home security system

like wtf!!!!!!!

imo it’s got to be some kind of mental problem. It is not normal.

This is on your manager to deal with. It could definitely be classed as sexual harassment and employers now have a duty to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace. Talk to your line manager and encourage others to do the same.

Yes far too much i would tell her that if he kisses her after shes likely to get very ill from ecoli!

Do people really lick each others bumholes??

If you don't want to speak to her directly, speak to her manager. That's inappropriate in the workplace.

Does she not have any friends outside of the office to talk to?

Its seems so . More prevalent among the gay community, my gay friend told me

Ewwwww! Next time, stick your fingers in your ears and chant loudly “ la la la la “

Can you not just say “Fuck’s sake Colleague - who the hell wants to hear this”

You need to be very firm with your boundaries, interrupt her, 'can you please not discuss your personal life in the office' then keep repeating it.

If she ignores you, report to your manager.

They call it "eating each other out" 🤢

Good to read OP that her manager has acted, let us hope that puts an end to the harassing comments that your colleague has made.

Do people really not know that this a thing?

There was a whole episode of Sex & The City about it c.25 years ago. This isn’t something new or outlandish.

MY bestie has never shared anything about her sex life with me, thank god. I assume she and her bloke have sex, but she doesn't TELL me about it!