To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

This - my teens use it, not only does it cook at less that 20-25% of the energy usage, but it’s quick and easy for them to clean up.

I’d be surprised if it is only cooking adding to the costs though - at that age I am guess xboxes, computers, charging devices is more significant. Perhaps look into ensuring they are powering down when leaving the house/not using them. Swap light bulbs for LED and other lower energy alternatives?

Well they know that and are choosing to eat them. They will buy them themselves if you don't provide it so you're just throwing money away on food they won't eat, and then begrudging them the... I still don't understand... the fridge space? The hob? The dishwasher?

I would genuinely step waaaay back from this before you damage your relationship over nothing.

I understand the frustration of being ignored, but I also think you request is unreasonable. Teen boys eat a lot, that's a fact, and a lot of people wouldn't eat cold meals - particularly in winter.
Beyond the processed meat it doesn't look like it's particularly unhealthy, and they are being very independent so you need acknowledge that.

There are other solutions than just the blanket ban you want to impose. Working with them to find a compromise seems like better option. Some ideas:

• someone suggested a air fryer
• pasta and porridge can be cooked in batches, kept in the fridge for 2-3 days, and microwaved
• generally look into batch cooking with them, so they can prep food and reheat
• work with the to agree a set of meals that are ok, things that won't require long cooking, and what's not ok
• if they are cooking everyday then why are you cooking as well? They should be helping making dinner for everyone. Generally they shouldn't all cook their own meals separately but join efforts

If you have a smart meter, can they track energy consumption for the day? You could agree on a threshold where they have to be mindful.
Is there any other area they could make an effort to compensate? E.g. if they play video games or anything other activity using energy?

They buy most of the food they cook though.

Who are you? The food police? If they are hungry they are hungry and entitled to eat.

They are not buying all their own food, the OP is paying all the energy bills and most of the food bills. They are emptying stocks at home and not thinking of others in the house who were planning to use them.

White pasta and processed meat are not a healthy diet.

Its selfish and self absorbed behaviour and the OP is right to be concerned about it. Teens all go through periods of selfishness, it doesn’t improve by ignoring it - they live in a shared house and something teens need to learn is consideration for the people they live with.

I’m amazed the extent to which MN excuses this kind of behaviour “because boys”. We see the same on greedy husband threads where thoughtless DHs eat the food planned for that night’s dinner or the children’s snacks.

Men do not need vastly more food than women, they do not need to be selfish and self absorbed but looking at threads like this we can see why so many are.

Your kids sound great, I would love mine to cook and you sound like you’re complaining for the sake of it without really being sure what the problem is. I’d treat them like adults and with more respect if you care about your future relationship with them.

Do they have gaming computers and/or consoles? Those are a much bigger use of electricity if left on constantly than the hob.

A full sized oven being used frequently for things like chicken nuggets and chips will also use much more electricity than needed - an air fryer heating up a much smaller area is cheaper to run.

Turn the WiFi off?

You can't really stop them. What you can do is not buy the extra stuff and let them fund it themselves.

The rule needs to be that they clean up behind themselves.

And also, that they're not doing it late at night and disturbing you. I'd have a no-cooking after 10pm rule.

If you really don't want them using the oven, yes, an air fryer and you'll have to accept the hob being used. But you COULD take the fuse out of the oven to prevent at least that aspect.

Other than that, accept they're being industrious and not constantly ordering Uber Eats.

You sound awfully similar to the poster who got loads of people worked up with the thread about the two girls who cook all the time and use up all the ingredients.

Maybe you should find that thread and you two can put your heads together for a solution?

But you COULD take the fuse out of the oven to prevent at least that aspect.

What kind of world am I living in where people would do this to their adult children. 😂

YOUR oats?! What?! What is even your problem OP?!

This whole thread is massively derailing from the fact you don't want them using your electricity (which is actually electricity for the whole household, not just you. That's how it works when you have a family).

Then you're apparently worried they're eating too many processed meats and now you're annoyed because they take "your" oats?!

Do you even like your children? Because quite honestly, these posts are starting to sound quite disturbing and like you just don't want your children eating full stop (apart from the one hot meal a day you claim to cook for them).

You sound extremely controlling.

On the oven/cooking front i can see exactly were your coming from. My 18 YO will come in after we’ve eaten (with our younger children) and cook another meal, then BF will come and will start cooking for their lunch the next day (chicken etc). So next thing you know the oven/ hob has actually been on 3 hours with the various cooking. It soon tots up when its 5/7 days a week.

Ive lost count of the amount of times i’ve said can you at a minimum make your evening/meal and if your cooking for tomorrow do it at the same time to save on gas/ electric.

Of course the OP is paying food bills and energy bills. They're her children! The older one contributes financially.
I do sometimes wonder why some parents get so resentful of their own children and how much they cost.

Yes we had a list on the fridge which was updated as something was close to empty. I agree there is a logistics issue but its an issue which one person cannot solve as they all need to agree to be more considerate and work together.

I've had the big air-fryer pitch from my DS: you've gotta get one of these, they're great, etc. Somehow I've resisted. I use my oven A Lot, but I don't see a air-fryer wuld help much? Can I make bread in it? Can I make sourdough in it? Can I make pizzas in it? I think the answer to all three is no,and that's 80% of of m yoven use.

That's an odd take. We are all the parents, the budget holders, and the owner of the house.
So yes they are entitled the eat when hungry, but we all get to decide on the rules for our household.
And that includes being the food police when teens are taking the piss.

As do you seem obsessed with the 3p here and 6p there for them to boil some pasta or run the over for 25 mins.

Or even children still at school. It's actually unbelievable.

You can bake bread in an air fryer, yes.

I'm genuinely sat here with my mouth open (and really hoping this is a half term wind up post).

Take the fuse out of the oven to prevent your children eating hot food?! Fucking disturbing (and abusive) behaviour.

We stayed with friends over the weekend. Their kids are 15/11 and ours are 13/9 and their kids have to ask every single time they want anything to eat. Even a piece of bread. Their (lovely) parents still dole out one breadstick per person like they're toddlers. My daughter has situational mutism and never asks for anything and spent half the weekend hungry until I went shopping and stocked up on granola bars and apples to avoid conflict. There is no money issue at all, just a huge need for control over their kids' diets. It was very, very odd to watch and I think they're setting themselves up for a problem in a couple years when their kids start having an independent life.

I think your absolutely deluded. Eat dinner then only have snacks for growing teenage boys?

a slice of toast with avocado on it wouldn't satisfy my child, i would need 6 slices of toast and thats only for starters.

You can't really stop them. What you can do is not buy the extra stuff and let them fund it themselves

Two of these kids aren't adults.

Did anyone forget to tell the op you are supposed to feed your children, and if you can't see it in your heart to stretch to oats and pasta - then you are an arse.