To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

I've got a pretty shite oven but a full over does not take 4x as long!
Don't be silly.

my kids both drink two pints of milk each a day. They don't like water but do have some juice as well.

I would rather they drank milk than sugar filled juice.

I cant stop wondering how much of this eating and cooking is real hunger, and how much is other factors like cravings, boredom, disrespect, selfishness, lack of daily routine and structure or weak relationship with parents.

And an obsession with protein/bulking up.

It sounds like you could do with buying oats in larger quantities (eg a 20kg sack of organic oats would cost a lot less than buying lots of small non-organic bags).
Where are your sons getting the money to buy all these sausages and bacon etc?!
Do they work? Do they get money from their dad? Do they steal from somewhere?!

I'd be pissed off about them ignoring me, and very tempted to put a strong lock on the fuse cupboard, and then just turn off the cooker fuse when I didn't want it being used. And use this to force them into a proper discussion about what respectful house-sharing looks like (things like leaving the kitchen spotless, and not finishing off the last of mum's oatflakes...)

Is there any chance that your 19yo might move out any time soon?
If he does, the other two could go round his to make their breakfast fry-ups and protein bars.

Thinking positively, it's good that they're capable of cooking, and interested in doing so, swerve things like microwavable rice sachets, and care about their health. They could probably do with learning a bit more about the power of plant-based protein though! (do they ever eat things like lentils or chickpeas? which would be healthier and a lol cheaper than processed meat)

Are any of them interested in working as a chef? You could try and persuade them to go to catering college/ find work in kitchens - by the time they got home at night they'd probably be less interested in cooking again!

Unless your boys are wasting the food they cook, or seriously overweight, then you are not cooking enough when you make dinner if they are eating shortly afterwards. Because they are obviously hungry.

Unless I was really skint I could not begrudge my children from cooking food due to the electricity bill. I hate the idea of my children being hungry because I was not buying or making big enough meals - feeding kids is just absolute basic parenting. Those who struggle to do so tend to be on or below the breadline and feel terrible about it, not annoyed.

I bet not a lot is real hunger! I bet teenagers years ago didn't consume massive amount of meat and protein. It's this protein obsession and body building that makes people quite selfish and vain.

People here are saying 'my teenage boys eat A LOT, massive amounts of meat, 6 eggs per sitting etc.' or 'my son was into bodybuilding and would eat 6 meals'. Sorry, but that's NOT ACCEPTABLE if the mother can't afford it, food or energy. Yes they need more calories, but that doesn't have to be protein based. It's only protein based because the media has led them to believe that. There is a severe lack of respect if she is saying no and they are doing it anyway. No one is entitled to as much protein as they want or for a bodybuilders diet. Would it be acceptable if teenage girls would be eating expensive salad food as snacks? I think not.

If they are hungry they eat cheaper carbs or protein. Women grow entire humans on only 500cals extra. An extra bowl of porridge, some extra potatoes and some extra fruit with peanut butter and an extra sandwich at lunchtime. Extra portion of pasta as teatime. Round of toast before bed if still hungry. Cheap and acceptable. 1000cal extra from an extra bowl of porridge with breakfast, an extra sandwich, peanut butter with an apple, extra pasta.

Do people seriously think teenagers through history would have 3 chicken breasts each? Or a gallon of milk that they 'need'. They don't.

I don't want to go into the realms of misogyny because it may not be here, but this does smack of disrespect if they are ignoring their mother and also historically boys are given more food than girls. I loved chicken satay sticks as a teenager. I would be murdered if I ate the whole packet of them if I was hungry. I just didn't do it. That would be unfair.

But I think that the main factor is the media and this protein obsession. Protein is NOT needed to quench hunger. There are other food items available. Be a body builder when you pay for life yourself.

I find it so odd that nobody on this thread ever buys a treat /more expensive food for themselves that they don't intend to share with the kids. The adults are the ones bloody working and earning money!! No wonder teens and young adults are so entitled these days. I was raised with the attitude that when I had my own home and was paying my own bills I could do what I liked... And I'm raising my kids the same way.

They are not free to just cook food whenever and whatever, because they aren't the ones doing the weekly shop and planning the meals? So they don't know what ingredients might already be planned for use in a dish later in the week. I'd be really bloody cross if my children took it upon themselves to fry up a pan of bacon and sausages for a snack as those foods might have been tomorrows dinner, as planned out by me! The kids are not in charge in my house, I am, and they just check with me first - that doesn't mean I don't allow them to cook or make stuff, but they need to check with me first because I'm in charge of the weekly food shopping!! Funnily enough I don't see them lining up wanting to help out with these household management tasks.

Neither the planet nor the boys' mother can afford such excesses as some posters have recommended (buy 3 chickens and chop them up, a gallon of milk per child per day etc.). There are families managing on that a week, and less. I had 3 teens myself, and that sort of guzzling never happened, not with us or with their friends. To what end are these teenagers bulking up, anyway? It's not like they're working long shifts outdoors and the coal mines are all closed.

And it's not a 'need' for teen boys to 'bulk up'. Teenage b 8oys absolutely don't need the vast amounts some on this thread are describing with 6 eggs at a time and whole bloody chickens - they can be perfectly healthy slim lads without needing to look like flipping body builders!

I find it more odd that parents wouldn’t share treats with their kids. I was raised in a household where everything was shared because we were a family, and now run a household with the same attitude. Anything else seems cold and transactional and frankly, un-family like.

ETA - the idea that this makes children entitled is bonkers too. My 8 year old always offers us a bit of her sweets or other treats when she buys them with her pocket money or is given them by others, even what she gets in a party bag. I think that is a result of us sharing everything - she is growing up to realise that sharing is a good thing to do. I consider that the opposite of entitlement.

Teenagers don't "need" any of this things. Mine sometimes fancy a pudding, often they don't. They do drink a lot of milk still, 21 year old often still has warm milk meir bed. But they've never eaten loaves of bread in one go. Or any of the other things people claim all teenage boys do

I agree, CuriousK but the sharing in our family went all round. If I bought strawberries out of season, or Nutella or posh biscuits, everyone had some and no child, even at their most tunnel visioned teenage worst, took the lot. No one drank the lactose free milk bought for the lactose intolerant one, and no one taught them to ask 'Can I eat the last yoghurt?/Are you saving that for dinner?/Are we saving some for dad?' but they did all those things as naturally as breathing. If I had wanted special oats, no one would have taken them without asking.
Who is sharing with the OP? And where is the father of these 3 boys?

Nobody needs pudding. We all need less refined sugar and fat.

I agree teen boys don't need 6eggs etc per sitting. That's just plain greedy.
I have teen boys, they eat LOTS but they don't pig out. They've always been told it's fine to be a little bit hungry for a while, they're not going to starve between now and the next meal - have a banana and a glass of water and shush!

We have 'shoppers privilege' items here 🤷
Kids are happy with a massive tin of shit biscuits they eat by the handful. Ill have a 'nice' biscuit every few days. They'd never dream of eating them without asking first, most of the time I'll share.
If they want to eat a pack of 'nice' biscuits in one go they've got pocket money and know where the lidl is.

6 eggs does seem greedy, but then I remembered my son making himself a six egg omelette , and one night he had 12 crackers and cheese for a night”snack”

Kids are happy with a massive tin of shit biscuits they eat by the handful. I'll have a 'nice' biscuit every few days. They'd never dream of eating them without asking first, most of the time I'll share.
Yes, this is exactly it; the OP is meant to share and compromise, but the sons aren't expected to share or to show basic manners.

Because women - especially mothers - are expected to give give give to everyone else and not want or need even the smallest of things for themselves.

From a financial point of view I feel for you.
however well done for raising such well rounded boys who can all cook. Their wives will thank you!

wish my DS knew how to use a cooker.. !

Why would it?

We locked away our freezer/fridge in the garage and left them snacks in the small counter fridge, stuff to make sandwiches with and basically told them that they weren’t allowed to cook.

@Boysfood Air fryers are typically 50% to 75% cheaper to run than a conventional electric oven because they are smaller, faster, and require no preheating.

This - porridge is a lot healthier than toast, cereal. Your first concern should be their health. You sound mean charging the eldest more, how much do you charge him and how much does he earn ?

I think you should find other ways of cutting back

young healthy conscious people don’t want toast and cereal or sandwiches any more