To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

I can’t believe people are suggesting you dock your children’s pocket money for wanting to cook food in their own home.

Show them the bills, and tell them you'll have to cut back on something else, eg cancel Netflix, Prime etc. Great that they're cooking though, as long as they clean up too, the the batch cooking is a great idea.

I think the OP has been getting a bit of a hard time here. A few people have mentioned the boys cooking themselves healthy foods. Sausages, bacon, white pasta, brownies? None of these are healthy. If they were really interested in healthy eating they wouldn't reject OP's whole wheat pasta for a start, and they would want to eat healthy proteins like eggs and nuts. And the disposable pans and plates, just so they don't have to clean up? Disgusting! They just don't sound very smart or respectful. Having said that, I do think it's admirable that they are all capable of cooking and feeding themselves.

On the other hand, a stir fry with 6 chicken breasts between 4 people (including 4 hungry teens) doesn't sound like that much, however many noodles and veggies it contains. I think OP needs to rethink the quantities she is preparing for these main meals, recognizing that these boys really do need a lot of (high quality) calories. Ideally they'd all four be able to sit down and come up with a meal plan between them, possibly with each of them taking a night to prepare the main meal. Acknowledge that the current situation isn't working for anyone and explain that they are a family and need to function as a unit.

Edited to add: At their ages I don't think you can control what they eat, but you should certainly continue to model healthy eating as well as talk about why processed meats and refined carbs are unhealthy. Then it's their choice, and hopefully once they mature a bit they'll start to agree with you.

She's already doing that. That's why the two younger boys think they have now made their contribution to the electricity bills.

Not a healthy family dynamic there. I hope you are getting some useful ideas from this thread, OP. There are plenty of solutions out there.

I voted unreasonable because 3 teenage boys who cook: win! You have raised them well ☺️
However I fully sympathise to the not listening driving you nuts.
I have not read all the comments so apologies if that's been suggested but how about involving them in the budgeting for daily life including food and electricity and in the food /menus planning?
Sound like you may have to compromise on some stuff (sausage and bacon) but hopefully you can maybe make them realise you can't afford the lifestyle they wish and come up with a rota where they can cook ...possibly take over the evening meal?
They are growing and I hear from all my friends that they are bottomless at that age so fully sympathy! Hope you update us with a positive outcome soon!

Cooking isn't 'helping' in a marriage - it's a shared responsibility.

Cooking at all hours whatever they want and not cleaning up or listening to any other party is also not 'helping'. It's centering themselves.

Them 'cooking' is a red herring, and if that's blinding you to be grateful for the bare minimum then raise your standards.

No way would I be discouraging teenagers from cooking! You’ve won a watch there.

But what OP says they are cooking is unreasonable, when there are other foods to eat which don’t need cooking. I certainly wouldn’t want non stop cooking, nor is it necessary.

I don't think that it is unreasonable. We had limited meat in my house as a teenager. I wasn't allowed unlimited chicken in my pasta bake. If I was still hungry I ate cheaper food. I would have to have a slice of bread with it. If I ate all of the chicken or tried to add more then I wasn't allowed. I was not starved.

Honestly, on mumsnet children can eat what they want and do no wrong and never have consequences because it is abuse. I don't think that the OP is starving her children, just the protein manic diet that some teens are obsessed with isn't cheap. Of course children can't just eat what they want. My nephew tried to eat about 20 chipolata pigs in blanket sausages (the finger size not small) from my christmas buffet. I would have been killed for that, in fact my dad was the one who told him that it wasn't acceptable and to share them out. Some food is expensive and the potatoes and veg would have to do if he was that hungry.

With the pasta, they can, and I was allowed as much of that as I wanted. Pasta is VERY cheap and quick to boil. Same with the vegetables. I was never denied the veg, just the more expensive meat.

Tofu in Aldi is cheap, and maybe you can add a tin or two of chickpeas to eat meal.

Ugh. Most definitely not approved! Boiling pasta takes 10 minutes, depending on type. Egg pasta tipo fettuccine would be 4 mins. I boil a kettle first. Lid on pasta water means I can have my hob on the lowest setting. A bit of the pasta water added to the sugo stretches it out even further. The only time reheating pasta works is if it’s smothered in a sauce, then it’s just about permissible!

Could you batch cook more (or get them to batch cook bolognese or roast some chicken breasts or something) and put in the fridge freezer to reheat? If it’s about limiting electricity use then teaching them how to make protein-rich meals in bulk is probably the best way to go. They can cook pasta in advance as well and put it in the fridge to heat up through the day.

Buying cold food can be just as expensive, if not more, that cooking. There is plenty of cheap hot food that doesn’t cost a fortune to cook. A plate of plain pasta with grated cheese takes minutes to cook and is filling. Without costing much. There are people on limited budgets yes. That doesn’t mean they can only eat cold food.

Exactly this too. Using the oven is expensive. Since moving house and being skint and getting a smart meter I am aware of how much cooking costs and try to limit it. I love omelettes and they cost a couple of pence to fry. I now use my air fryer or slow cooker rather than oven. Ovens are expensive.

Talking about brownies too - these can be pricey if they are using demerara sugar etc. or adding protein powder and chocolate chips, and margerine instead of butter. At least use granulated sugar and basic ingredients. This can quarter the price of brownies and cakes.

Have you had a discussion, with the whole family, about who cooks and when? Teenagers can eat a lot and if they're filling up on pasta that's not going to be very expensive. It is good your DC are taking some responsibility for feeding themselves but it's good manners to clean up afterwards. Maybe expecting them to replace what they've used is too optimistic but would they add to a shopping list? I would be tempted to hide the expensive, organic oats (for example) and leave the basic ones available. Work out what is really annoying you and decide what battles are worth fighting. Most teenagers (and younger) love airfryers, even for sausages and bacon, although they probably won't clean it.

It's winter they are teens. I really don't think you should moan about this id actually be very pleased!

It’s about teaching boys the idea of respect and that they are part of a family unit. Discussion, debate and explanation is the most effective way. Help them understand.
I appreciate that must be a lot harder if there is no male role model to show them how to behave.

Can you do a family meeting and lay out the concerns

• not cleaning up
• too much energy
• worried about their health

I think they are developing fantastic habits but would encourage batch cooking. My nieces also have pasta or ramen or a protein shake after dinner. I don’t think we have the same concerns about energy cost here, which helps with part of your worries. But it sounds like your kids know money is tight so hopefully they can contribute there!

It also sounds like you think their behaviour is somehow morally wrong. Maybe explore that thought? I’m veggie and the amount of meat would trouble me, but otherwise what is actually wrong? And if you really truly believe eating hot food multiple times a day is wrong, how can you tell them?

I think they are developing fantastic habits but would encourage batch cooking.

On what planet is eating loads of bacon, sausages, white pasta and protein powder and using disposable cooking trays and crockery developing fantastic habits?!

I sometimes feel I live in a different world to most MNetters.

1/3 of the cost of putting on a normal sized electric oven.

‘Your’ oats? You have to keep replacing them? They’re still teens and you sound like you resent feeding them at all, never mind providing the huge amounts of high calorie food teen boys eat.

I was on your side until this. They shouldn’t be treating the family home like a house share but it sounds like that’s exactly what it is.

Actually she started off saying she had an issue with the amount to electricity they were using to cook. That seemed to be the main concern. Then it became the processed meat that was the issue. Then the oats. Then later on it was that they didn’t clean up. She offered expensive alternatives. I put nut butters in quotation marks, not to sneer, but because it was a direct quote. “Nut butters” is suggestive of a range (see plural: butters), for example things like cashew nut butter, almond butter, which as we all know are pretty pricey. People, me included, have intuited this from the term “nut butters” and this is due to use of the generic “nut” (rather than specific “peanut”) and also the word “butters”, which imply different types and not a singular type. I wasn’t sneering, but using the quote to show that she had indeed offered them expensive alternatives only to backtrack and say she can’t afford the electricity and doesn’t buy avocados and can only afford cheap Lidl peanut butter. That’s fine, but an offer of avocado and “nut butters” (note use of plural!) suggests expensive ingredients. Which doesn’t make sense if you’re saying you can’t afford for people to cook more than one hot meal a day. People questioned the logic. As I said, she seems to contradict herself.

There are compromises to be made as always. She has offered to try an air fryer, as long as the oldest pays for it, so maybe all will be well. Or maybe she will find something else to complain about. Who knows.

Sounds like all of them cook their meals individually? So 3x breakfast and 3x lunch? That would be a lot of cooking I agree. I think they need to agree what to cook for each meal and do one meal together rather than each of them cooking individually.

That’s a sensible compromise.

This thread gets stranger and stranger.
Teenage boys being untidy and ignoring their mother. Never heard of such a thing

Sandwiches/salads aren't "junk".