To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

@TarkadaaaahlingIts also your job as a parent to make sure your children aren’t going hungry.

Obviously not big enough. They need far more protein and fats to fill them up than you think. What kinds of hot meals are you giving them?

She’s cooking one hot meal, they are literally buying the other food they eat and consume in a day. Except for a handful of oats which OP apparently thinks is unacceptable.

Her contribution to raising her children is actually minimal.

"they aren't paying the electricity bill"
No, they're not paying Council Tax or home insurance either, because that is the responsibility of the adult parent who is the home owner or renter. They're not squatters or parasites, 2 of them are children, and one a young adult in the family home.

You don't have a standing charge? In the uk that's almost impossible. I assume you are in the uk, to be commenting on uk power costs? The average electric use in the uk for a small to medium home is £80 a month. £37 is a smaller percentage increase because of our very high energy costs at the moment.

At what age would you let a child have some autonomy over what they eat? Overnight at 18?

How miserable to live in a home where your Mum denies you hot food.

@Tarkadaaaahlingthat isn’t quite true. You can make sure you buy enough healthy food, sure and yes you can have made sure they are fully aware of nutrition and yes you can provide healthy meals, 3 of them if you want; but actually beyond that, you can’t control what a 15+ year old eats. You can’t force a carrot in their mouth. You can’t stop them earning some money and using it to buy mcds. Great if you have a compliant teenager who does do what they’re told, many many don’t and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, food wise.

Well really the thread should be titled

I really dislike / resent my children for just being teenagers. Please validate me. If not I'll disappear off, name change and then post again about another non-issue until people agree with me.

Yep on utilita So I my son

What actually is the issue?

Is your electric bill unaffordable?
Are they not cleaning up?
Are they eating food you have planned for meals?

As for your oats just buy bags of them and put some in a container with mum on them and they arnt to touch them

How naive? Not really. I didn't have a set bedtime at 15, neither did my DB, and neither did anyone else I knew. I knew that if I didn't get enough sleep I would sleep in and miss my 1 bus to school and would be in a whole heap of trouble.

But we weren't ND like your kids so there lies the difference. Your kids are ND so they obviously need set bedtimes. But for NT kids who are doing their GCSEs they should be able to manage their own bedtimes otherwise they will be absolutely fucked when they go to uni in a couple of years if they can't even manage that.

This is a 2 bed flat with one WFH person and includes a 22 year old lad

No I said they are also making cooked snacks

All these responses saying the OP is too controlling, can’t control what her kids eat etc. It’s their house!! And the ages of their children is definitely be advising what they should & shouldn’t be eating. Yes you can’t force them to eat the things you’d like but you can definitely guide them.

I don’t think half these people commenting have grown up children!

Re the oats I buy big bags of cheap oats as they use so much. They tend to prefer to take my organic ones

Right. So you want them to stop cooking.
Where do you go from here? What are your expectations?
Do you want the 19 year old to move out?

Most people would be delighted their teenage sons were cooking. Using a pan on a hob is not expensive, so I'm surprised you're seeing such a massive difference. Home cooked food is cheaper and usually healthier. Your cold choices sound healthy too, but it's freezing cold winter.

For the sake of their future partmers, don't discourage them from cooking.

This is not what she said. Read properly.

If it’s not the cost then they are ignoring you because you are unreasonable. It’s not unreasonable to limit cooking if it’s a genuine cost issue. otherwise ??!!!! Why would you discourage your kids from doing something that is developing their independence - some parents WISH their kids would cook.

could you do a rota - get them to cook a night each for the family? Making enough for left over for later.

@Boysfood we aren't all on the attack. I've had adult/young adult children living with me and understand how they can take over the home I paid for.

You're absolutely not wrong to set some boundaries.

Have you told them they're only allowed cheap oats, the organic stuff is for you and you alone?

I thought you were skint and couldn't afford electricity? But you buy yourself organic oats....?

I think you need to have a conversation with your boys rather than a row. Ask them to come up with weekly menus that everyone can have (with a meat free version if anyone is veggie), discuss how sausages, bacon and refined carbohydrates every day are really not good for them and get them to look up alternatives (isn’t turkey bacon a thing?), remind them about replacing ingredients if they use them all up and get them to try batch cooking. Make Sunday a batch cooking day, for example, so the meals are done for the week? Things like breakfast burritos can be made and frozen and zapped in the microwave when required and are full of protein. Protein brownies definitely don’t need to be baked every day and a lot of protein balls don’t even need cooking. Also, whilst protein heavy meals are great, they do need vegetables and fibre as well, otherwise they’ll all end up with constipation!

Insert massive eye roll here!