Gym bore husband who rarely goes to the gym

[FlowerPowre]

I will preface this to say I am probably being unreasonable and I am due on which may explain the levels of absolute rage I feel right now 😂

Husband is an absolute gym bore. Spends hours reading and researching (and telling me about) gym equipment, routines, workouts, nutrition etc. Bangs on and on about how much protein he needs (to be fair, he's a big man, 6'3 and quite muscular), takes supplements and protein shakes. Every day tells me how he's setting his alarm at 6am to go to the gym. Then how he's going to do a mobility session after work or before bed. Regularly studies himself in mirrors, asking me if I can see any differences or what I think. I don't give a shit, I am very happy with him exactly how he is and have told him that. I am also very active, go to the gym 3-4 days a week, go running, walk the dog, etc. I don't bang on and on about it though sharing how much weight I've lifted and how much protein I've consumed etc

Here's the catch. He hardly ever fucking goes to the gym!!!!!!!

In the last 3 weeks he's been 3 times. Sets his alarm for 6am every morning and then never fucking gets up.

I don't care if he doesn't go to the gym as often as he would like to but stop fucking talking like you're in there for hours every day because you don't have the willpower to follow through!!!!

Aaaand rant over, breathe.......

AIBU to get so annoyed?!

Have you pointed this out??

OP that would give me the rage. That is sooo not normal. He needs absolutely called out on that.

Yes and I get told I'm not 'being supportive'. Mostly I try and bite my tongue though because it would end in a rant like above!

I would be tempted to say something like “if you put half as much effort into going as you do researching you might even see results”

Oh my god this would annoy the living shit out of me too OP 😂

What does he say when you point this out??

" Talking about it isnt the same as doing it Steve"

Then dont engage

Tell him you'll be supportive when he actually makes an effort Op, you do more exercise than him but you don't bang on about it.

I think I would be annoyed by that in your shoes, especially since you go to the gym (more often than him by the sounds of it)! I'd probably make a point of announcing every time I was going, perhaps be a bore back to him for a while.

I don't go to the gym or workout, but am fairly active (dog walking, gardening, housework etc). Every now and again my DH goes on a short lived health kick where he goes to the gym and tries to get me to go with him. The problem is that's the only form of activity he does, he drives everywhere and is sedentary when he's at home. I've had days where I've been on my feet for 3 hours before he even gets up, then he'll announce 'I'm going to the gym later you should come with me, it'll do you good'. I'm bemused that he'll walk past the dogs who need walking, to visit a gym that he pays a subscription for but barely uses!

Maybe point him towards the research that shows frequent short bursts of activity are more beneficial to your health than infrequent gym sessions.

@FlowerPowre are you already up when this alarm goes off ? If he wakens you for no reason this would be rage in itself for me .

“You are what you do , not what you say you will do “
How boring !
Id tell him to stop setting alarms for the gym and stop talking about it unless he actually goes.

He sounds revolting

No, my alarm for work goes off at 6:45 so I am usually still asleep when his goes off. He's a very deep sleeper so I have to nudge him to turn it off, he then goes back to sleep and I doze or scroll on my phone until my alarm goes off.

I think this is the first time ive ever seen a 100% YANBU 🤣

I would tell him to stop going on as he’s obviously not that into the gym if he can’t be arsed to get out of bed to go. That would do my head in. My dh sometimes talks about the gym to me but he goes 4 days a week without fail and he doesn’t make his entire personality.

“Yes I’m going to the gym too - except I’m actually GOING”

I reckon he feels inadequate and is trying to create the standard in himself that he sees in you.

You could start 'supporting' him by harassing the hell out of him to get up and actually go the gym when his alarm goes off.

Mine is bit of the same. He can't do certain things at the moment due to injuries but even before these he did 20min twice a week. He always talks about how it sucks not to be able to run, he hasn't done it in the past 10 years regularly but blames the injuries he had 6 months ago. He constantly talks about whatever is the diet of the day and protein content. I mean there is not a diet he hasn't researched and announced he will try. The more extreme the better. but happily has a croissant as a snack and any goodies is going within 5 minutes

I juat leave him to it.

What support does he need? As long as you don't try and prevent him going to the gym, which you obviously don't, what is he actually expecting from you?

He's a gym bore who doesn't even go to the gym. No wonder you are pissed off.

Apparently 1% think IABU, would genuinely love to know why! (DH is that you?!)

Sounds like his hobby is "thinking about gym" which to my mind does sound boring, but marginally less boring than "going to the gym".

It's bizarre. I'd have the row me and tell him you're not interested if he's not actually going to walk the walk.

The waking me up before my alarm would almost be worse for me! can you turn his alarm.off after he's asleep/while he's brushing his teeth before bed or something?

It’s a bit like people who watch all the cooking programmes and live on Maccy Ds

I used to read loads of diet books when I was fat. I knew everything about keto, fasting, low cal, low carb 😆

made me feel like I was doing something. DH sounds the same OP. Just tell him to shut up