To not encourage DS to go to Uni?

[Walterand719]

He’s 1st year A levels, doing humanities, predicted 3 As. He’s never wanted to go to university and his mind hasn’t changed. I know his college focuses a lot on Uni-lots of information sessions, visitors etc. so he knows what it’s all about.

I was in the generation where Uni felt like the only option after A levels and it would have been very odd for me not to go. It was pretty much assumed that I would and I don’t know anyone from my year that didn’t go.

Anyway, he’s going to apply for an apprenticeship. He has several ideas in mind and he’s building his CV and work experience around them.

Am I doing the right thing by not pushing him to go to university? I’ve really not encouraged (I’ve not discouraged it either just left him to make his own mind up).

I agree and this is my concern. Maybe he’d change his mind about uni if he struggled to get an apprenticeship. We’d just cross that bridge when we get to it.

Thanks for all the replies. Parenting is so hard, nice to read that I’m on the right track with this one.

Neither of mine (excellent A level results) wanted to go to uni. Dh and I both went and had a brilliant time and we encouraged them to think about it or work out an alternative. Both are now in apprenticeships and really enjoying it. They both have plans to spend some time abroad which I think will be good for them and their apprenticeships will hopefully help their employability wherever they want to be.

Degree Apprenticeships are extremely competitive. Him building his cv and really focusing towards that is a good idea. All the yp I know who secured them had high grades A*/A, decent pt work history, volunteering and lots of extras like work experience. Those in gap year after A levels seemed to have more luck than in yr13. Being able to demonstrate they could juggle work and study seemed key.
If he doesn’t get an apprenticeship he can review.

Given the mounting levels of debt and diminishing graduate job market I think he'd be making a mistake to go unless he had a particular career aspiration that required a degree such as medicine, or you were in a position to pay for the whole thing so he wouldn't incur any debt. It's a massive perspective change from 20 years ago when I was doing my A-levels and if you were clever, you went to uni, because that was the only way to get a "good" job.

A degree apprenticeship is clearly a the way to go these days.

Absolutely refreshing to hear of a boy who is choosing something else, a different path to succeed in life instead of being a sheep. He knows his own mind. Well done OP.

My eldest chose college instead of uni and he has great grades. It just wasn't for him. I told him we will support him whatever path he chooses and are so proud of him.

But he will have a degree with a degree apprenticeship.
My DS has been doing a pharmaceutical degree apprenticeship for last 5 years and will graduate in a few months time.

(I know you're not the OP, but just wanted to comment on this)
Tell DH to back off! Your DS doesn't have to 'complete the collection' of degrees just to make it all nice and tidy.
Not getting into debt, and having a clear idea of what he wants to do sounds by far the best option!

He will find that getting onto a degree apprenticeship is the challenging part. They are competitive. Once he’s been able to do that then yes it’s a cheaper route.

YANBU.
Our DD recently finished.
She's in £90+ in debt and doesn't know what she wants to do.
She'd like to do a PhD, but isn't sure.

If he gets onto a degree apprenticeship, he will go to Uni. That is the degree part.

He just will do it spread over a longer period alongside paid work.

In any case, I don't think you should push an 18 year old in any direction - it is their life and they need to be the ones to take responsibility for their choice to go to uni or take a job or go travelling.

You can and should discuss the pro and cons of different options with them but they are unlikely to have the necessary self-motivation to succeed if they make a choice simply because that is what their parent wants then to do.

That’s a dated view. Clever people do well in apprenticeships too and far better for him in terms off chance of getting a job after. I know so may graduates working in supermarkets.

If he does a degree apprenticeship, which he should be able to if he gets good grades at A level, he will have the degree just without having to pay for it, so your DH hasn’t got a leg to stand on.

Also, if he happens to struggle getting a decent apprenticeship and just ends up working in any old job/temping/travelling, there’s nothing to stop him applying later with grades in hand, a year older and wiser. There are so many that drop out in the first year that I think anyone with any doubts should hold fire and take some time out before applying.

How does he or anyone access an apprenticeship? Surely they are highly competitive?. What job does he want that he needs an apprenticeship for?

As others have said, degree apprenticeships are very competitive. It can be harder to get a place on one of those than at a top university.

But there are other apprenticeships out there. A lot of them (at least where we are) are in engineering. But there are others. Local authorities usually offer apprenticeship schemes in a range of areas. Local government reorganisation means they may not guarantee a job at the end of the apprenticeship but you’ll have the qualifications and no debt. A 20 year old I know joined a sales traineeship straight from A- levels, one of only 2 non-graduates in the cohort, and is doing very well.

My ds2 is 2 years into a 3 year apprenticeship and enjoying it. Ds1 has a degree but has never had employment in a related field apart from occasional freelance commissions, and it is in a sector where AI is likely to mean even fewer opportunities in the future. His younger brother will be out earning him as soon as he completes his apprenticeship.

My DD is going to uni this Autumn which is what I always expected her to do
However her boyfriend, who has the same A level grades (and quite a few of her mates) are not going and have got degree apprenticeships.
At first I was puzzled and thought that he’d been badly advised and/ or not encouraged by his parents but now I wonder if in fact he’s choosing the right path and I should have encouraged DD to think outside the box.
They will both start in the Autumn but he’ll be making a decent salary straight away and getting work skills whilst she’ll be racking up debt and dependent on us for finances and will still need to get holiday internships etc to bolster her CV
His degree will take 5 years vs hers takes 3 but already I wonder will she be wanting us to fund a Masters?
Then he’ll come out with a ready made entry into the world of work and she’ll be having to find a job with huge graduate unemployment.
She’ll be paying back debt for many years and he will never have that.
From my POV she’ll be going away to uni whilst he’ll be living at home which I would find odd and am not super keen on but OTOH DH lived at home when he was at uni 30 years ago.
We shall see who made the better choice I guess but definitely OP your son is probably onto something and I would encourage him to go for it! Exeter Uni has degree apprenticeships in finance that I wish DD had considered

DDs boyfriend applied for his degree apprenticeship on his gap year post A levels as most seem to and he did apply for a lot unsuccessfully before he finally got one (it’s in an engineering field). He has decent A levels but certainly not all As and he also has a retail job on his gap year which he has good refs from. I’d 2nd him planning a gap year to apply for apprenticeships. They don’t all open at the same time like UCAS and you have to be on it to research what options there are when the deadlines are. I think he did apply for 10s of them to get one.

It depends what he wants to do long term. My ds wants to be a structural engineer which requires either a degree or a graduate apprenticeship.

If your ds doesn't want to go and his chosen career can start at entry level and work his way up, then his choice is sound.
Or he can do an OU degree later if he decides he needs one.

It depends on the person. DD1 always wanted uni and loved it. She would never have not gone. Shes 25 now and got on a good grad scheme afterwards but she hates the student loan repayments. She gets great bonuses and has to pay more loan back when she gets them. We paid for her excess costs at uni but she still has £50k debt from tuition and accommodation.

If you can get onto a degree apprenticeship it’s amazing but they are highly competitive. Often thousands applying for a handful of places.

My husband has four A grade A levels, he didn’t go to uni, so after college he worked for a few years and saved like mad. He then started his apprenticeship when he was 22, due to his savings from work and from his apprenticeship wage be bought himself a flat (in London) when he was 25. Due to the industry we’re both in he could start taking his professional exams during his apprenticeship, where as they normally start once you’re got employment.

So on year one of fulltime employment he was earning what took me five years to earn as he went in qualified and experienced, where as most go in straight from uni and a bit of work experience.

No chance of the flat in London at 25 these days though eh?

If he was still twenty five he would still be able to buy in the same area, it was only seven years ago.

Oh ok. DD25 lives in London and finds it very hard even on a great salary.

YANBU. There's little point in getting massively into debt doing something that doesn't really interest you, and it sounds as if your son has some sensible plans for what he wants to do instead. If he wants to do a degree or other qualification later, he can always do it part time.