To think “I speak my mind” usually means “I’m rude?”

[HonestNotHarsh]

People use “just being honest” to justify saying whatever they want with no emotional intelligence.
AIBU?

Yes!

My mom is a "say it as it is" kind of woman, aka rude and quite nasty if I'm honest.

Yep means they are a dickhead but for some reason they think that's a positive quality 😂

Yes, no self awareness

Also “I wear my heart on my sleeve”. - piss me off and you’ll know about it

This is my mums favourite thing to say and she’s an insufferable twat

I am an honest person and if someone asks me an opinion I’ll be honest, but not tactless. I don’t go around announcing thoughts and opinions on the basis of “I’m just being honest”

I’ve also found these are some of the most two faced people I’ve come across

Taylor Swift lyric:

’so casually cruel in the name of being honest’.

She’s not wrong.

It means 'I'm rude and proud of it.'

Even worse, IMO, is 'I don't suffer fools gladly.'

I mean, where to start? You've not only designated yourself a non-fool, but also the arbiter of who actually is a fool, and their judge and jury.

And what does 'fool' mean, anyway? Someone who might not be particularly clever? Why would they deserve punishment?!

Yeas ‘I say it as I see it !’ Yes but be a bit tactful, you can be truthful without being rude and hurtful.

Similarly people who start a sentence with "with all due respect" which invariably means that respect is the one thing you are not getting !!

Also often find that people like this aren't that happy if you are "equally honest" back to them

Yes! Anyone who “doesn’t suffer fools gladly” is a massive penis. One who is happy to be really unpleasant to others but is really quite upset when they are unpleasant back.

I agree, a work colleague posted something along these lines on her Instagram story and she is a rude twat too

100% People that feel the need to state that out loud are usually trying to justify being incredibly rude. Anyone who is naturally honest usually has the ability to do so with a bit of tact

It means "I am a rude pillock who has no filter and is best avoided."

Yep. This is my SIL. We’re all polite at family gatherings but otherwise NC with her. She’s insufferable.

I agree, it's just some people's way of justifying their own rudeness. After all, how many 'I speak my mind' people spend much of their time stopping passers-by and telling them how much they love their haircut or complimenting mothers on their children? No, it's ALWAYS negative, but surely, if you speak your mind you'd be 50% positive statements?

Agree. People who “call a spade a spade” are some of the most easily offended people out there.

Absolutely agree! Code for ‘I will always think I’m right, your opinion doesn’t matter to me and I’m rude.’

No offence though.

IME, these people are exactly the same ones that dissolve in hysterics if anyone 'tells it like it is' to them. Not so much fans of 'honesty' when it's directed towards them.

Agree, I put this in the same category as posters on here who start a sentence with “with kindness, OP…” I know it’s much harder to read tone and intention online, but I somehow doubt how many of those are truly meant with kindness and how many are just an excuse to be rude!

Yes, see also:

I’m entitled my own opinion
I can’t say anything
Not being funny but…
Not being racist but…

As with PPs I have found that the kind of people who feel the need to splatter their “honest opinion” over you don’t react well to any level of dissent.

‘No nonsense’ when the ‘nonsense’ is other people’s feelings and opinions.

100% this. My grandma used to say "I tell it as I find it"
(We used to say "what a rude bitch")

I have heard particularly women use it as a rudeness. Knowingly.
other phrases:
I speak as I find
I’m straight talking
I don’t beat around the bush
I’m not emotional about these things

The worse one was a woman who claimed she had a spirit guide and it was the spirit guide forcing her to say mean stuff. She was vegan and ‘pacifist’ and one of the nastiest people I have ever encountered.

Yep. I see that as a huge red flag. It’s not only nasty it’s socially inept.