The driveway drama continues. Neighbours are still driving me insane. What should I do now?

[9champions]

I’m not sure if anyone remembers my last thread, but to save me from explaining the background, I’ll link it here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5482826-neighbour-using-my-drive-landlord-wont-help-what-can-i-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I’m not really looking for opinions on that since we’ve already discussed it. However, I’d like to hear your thoughts on what’s happened since then and what I should do next.

After chatting with the neighbour and her outright refusing to stop, I decided to put up my own fence for some privacy and to stop her from using my driveway. I considered putting down planters, boulders, etc. (which I’ll get to in a minute), but I figured a fence would be a better option since it’s sturdier. It’s not ideal because my driveway is pretty narrow, and the extra cost is frustrating, but their fence is right on the boundary line anyway, so hopefully, it won’t make a big difference, and I’ll still have enough space to get in and out of my car.

I’ve been trying to get someone to come over and give me a quote for the last few weeks, but I’ve been let down a couple of times. Finally, someone is coming this week to have a look. Now, about the planters. I’ve been parking my car there as usual, but somehow she’s still managed to squeeze past. I wanted to put something there while I was away this weekend until the fence was up, so I placed 2 long thin planters there (on my land, not hers). I got home yesterday, and there was a knock on the door. It was her saying she ran over the planters and broke them, offering to pay for a new one, etc. I said no (they were £2.50, so I’m not going to bother asking for that), but isn’t this just ridiculous? The planters were on my drive, so the only reason she hit them was because she drove over my property. She tried to claim she clipped them with her back wheel, but that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t cutting across the drive in the first place. It was honestly like something out of a comedy sketch.

I’d be more sympathetic if this was their only choice, but it’s not. They could:

Take down their fence so he can park the van there instead and put the car on the street to create more space.

Talk to the landlord again about the fence.

Talk to their neighbours and ask them to leave more room on the road for the van.

Move the van when she needs to go out or come back home.

They’re opting for the easiest, most convenient solution, even if it means damaging someone else's property. It just reaches a point where it becomes bone idle.

So what should I do now? Continue with the fence and hope she doesn’t crash into it or damage it? I can let the planter go, but not a fence. I’ve already asked her nicely, and she made excuses. I’ve put obstacles in her way, and she’s just driven over them. So what else can I do? Should I really have to go through all this trouble to stop someone from using my property?

What’s even more confusing is that she says she can’t get out of her car on the side of the fence because there isn’t enough space, so she has to pull onto the driveway instead of reversing and driving off in a straight line. But her partner was in the passenger seat yesterday and got out on that side just fine, so there’s clearly enough room. I think she’s just a bad / lazy driver and doesn’t want to reverse on.

Before anyone says it’s not causing any damage, I don’t care. It’s my property, and I don’t want them using it. If it was now and again, that would be different, but not every day, multiple times a day. They've been dicks and unhelpful in the past, so no, I don't feel like helping them out either.

Concrete fence, shell damage her car if she tries to drive into it. 😄

Do you know who her Landlord is? You could contact them saying their Tenants are causing you stress as they keep driving over your new driveway & that if it's damaged you'll be coming after him for repairs costs. Put your bin in the middle of the access to your drive so if your neighbour tries to drive over your it she'll have to get out every time to move it. If you do go ahead & have a fence built next time you see the neighbour ask her again not to drive on your property as you don't want the fence damaged.

That’s what I said get landlord involved.

Don’t go passive aggressive like this PP has suggested. It is too subtle for entitled, cheeky people like this woman: they just ignore and continue whatever inconsiderate behaviour they’ve previously been doing.

A mother at my son’s school constantly parks in the mouth of the drive of the car park to the school when collecting from after school club, either preventing others parking in the legitimate spaces or boxing others in. If you tried this tinkly laugh bit, it wouldn’t even register.

I’m expecting OP to put in bollards / fence / wall / sharp rocks / whatever and the next thread will be her apoplectic because she’s damaged her car bashing it and it’s all the neighbour’s fault

The sheer entitlement of your neighbour’s mother has made me furious on your behalf!
What kind of mind thinks it is ok to park on someone else’s drive and then is rude about it!
I think your strategy is perfect and especially that you were there to see her reaction, plus to gleefully wave. I would have loved to have seen that. 🙌🏻

Imo, I think their attitude comes down to the fact that they aren't homeowners. When you own a home everything matters more, as you take responsibility for it. They don't own a driveway so haven't got lived experience of the psychological responsibility of looking after things. That's why they appear to not care.

Speak to a street furniture company or the council about a metal bollard, they are about a metre high and not very wide so don’t take up much space. A brick wall is easily knocked off its base and may not damage the car hitting it. A metal bollard will crumple your entire door or bumper and still be standing plus it will take up less space than a wall so the overall cost of getting one may be worth it. You may need two if she decides to come further up your drive to have the bollard on the passenger side when cutting over your drive

As a long term renter you could not be more wrong. It consumes everything. The fact everyone else has some control over your life. Knowing each neighbour could go to the landlord means I care more and let more slide than I would if I owned. The neighbour is playing roulette over which neighbour to piss off and which is more likely to go to the landlord and mean their eviction.
they don’t want to spend the money on the fence because your only ever 2 months away from being evicted, and all the costs and upheaval that comes with that - Assuming they can even find somewhere.

none of this is the ops problem of course. But you couldn’t be more wrong about renters not caring.

I was only speaking from experience as I know for me personally I was shocked by how much more I suddenly cared when I owned a house. I was probably quite ignorant like the OPs neighbours (ashamed to say!) before I owned a property, but having had the privilege of owning now, I feel embarrassed about the ignorant person I was beforehand.

Because you haven't supplied a drawing I haven't the foggiest idea what the geometry is - so I imagine this is confusing for a lot of people trying to help - is there no way they (the landlord) can put in some direct access to the property that doesn't involve infringing on to your property?

there is a diagram in thread 1

@mmmarmaladehere is the diagram.

I'd dig a trench. Say its for the foundations of the new wall or a flower bed if she asks why. But warn her (in writing preferably) it is there and that it will do her car no good if she drives into it

The point is the neighbour has a drive, and in addition she has access to off street parking at the end of her drive. Her partner has a van. So they have two accessible parking spaces for their two vehicles. The real problem is she is a lazy and poor driver. So instead of them behaving like adults and working out how they can safely devise a system to park both their vehicles on their own spaces ( see the diagram) they have decided to take the easy way that doesn’t involve them any inconvenience , so she drives over the OPs newly laid drive to access her drive and clearly doesn’t see this as a problem, which of course it isn’t FOR HER.

Especially after being told “do not park here” - it makes me wonder what is going on in people’s minds when they continue this poor behaviour. Much like OP, you should only have to tell someone ONCE “do not use my property” before they stop.

if I recall correctly from the previous thread, there was a conversation telling the CF neighbour not to use the drive, then OP put buckets of rocks which rude neighbour MOVED. The buckets were an obvious “remember when I told you not to cut across my drive? This is a reminder not to do that” sign and that CF moved them. After the buckets came the planters which the neighbour destroyed. How many times does this woman need to be reminded not to drive there? She will not stop until there is a permanent structure that will cost her money, either by having to pay to fix it when she hits it, or by damaging her car.

I hope OP is able to get this sorted with a minimum of fuss moving forward - I’m hoping those concrete planters previously suggested are a quick solution. This neighbour is stomping all over set boundaries and isn’t going to stop unless she’s forced to.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/petty-bloke-installs-cctv-mock-29558221.amp

This is what I would do - just put a big rock at the end so she tears her car if she tries to drive over it

The entitlement of some people is baffling

OP i cannot believe the roasting some people are giving you on here. simply get some bollards installed, some are even remote and then you can put them up or down without getting out of the car. if she insists on driving over these, she will really ruin her car.

www.amazon.co.uk/ORIENTOOLS-Automatic-Controller-Intelligent-Functions/dp/B0B2WZQTJ3/ref=sxin_15_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?content-id=amzn1.sym.a6b26222-96b9-4d6e-84b3-ef3f899ea633%3Aamzn1.sym.a6b26222-96b9-4d6e-84b3-ef3f899ea633&crid=3R7GQZ4S7QZ15&cv_ct_cx=parking+bollard&keywords=parking+bollard&pd_rd_i=B0B2WZQTJ3&pd_rd_r=e8e19575-e0a3-4b3d-99a7-95f96bdb11be&pd_rd_w=I3a1g&pd_rd_wg=H3yVC&pf_rd_p=a6b26222-96b9-4d6e-84b3-ef3f899ea633&pf_rd_r=BT6DR1M5GGXZ7T22A2ET&qid=1771483960&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sprefix=parking+bolla%2Caps%2C461&sr=1-3-fd3c5e6b-a8f7-4e24-85ab-454044c653b9-spons&aref=ibQCEGL1vn&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9zZWFyY2hfdGhlbWF0aWM&psc=1

Any news OP? Hope your neighbour is finally listening

You are being incredibly patient and tolerant with some of the abusers on here. Just ignore the idiots. They shouldn’t be using your driveway and you have every right to stop them. You’re not petty unhinged or any of the other things you’re being called. Please build a wall or fence. Do update the outcome.

OP I’m surprised about the flack you are getting here, I would feel exactly as you do! My next door neighbour has a child and every time his ex wife drops child off she turns round on MY drive. Turn around on your exes drive, who has the same amount of space for goodness sake!!!

You can find the landlord by looking on the land registry. Costs about £5 to download the deeds.

Hey, I’m really sorry for not responding to everyone’s messages. I just needed a break because I was feeling so overwhelmed and fed up with the situation.

Things haven’t improved at all since my last update. The fence man came by on Friday to have a look, and I’ve agreed to the work, but he’s fully booked for the next few weeks, so it won’t be done yet.

In the meantime, I moved the planter that was broken as all the stones had spilled out everywhere. I replaced it with another one from the back garden, again on my side. But when I got home earlier today, I found that the other one had been broken. There was a note through the door apologising and offering to pay for it. I haven’t talked to them yet because I’m afraid of what I’ll say, so I’m just keeping my distance. I’m not even angry anymore. I just ended up in tears earlier, probably out of frustration.

I’m not a horrible person. All I want is for them to stick to their side. I’ve never encroached into their space, and it feels like I’m being painted as the villain just because I don’t want them using my property. I’ve tried to be nice and even said they didn’t have to pay for the last planter, but isn’t this getting a bit ridiculous now? I’m starting to regret buying the house. I really didn’t think this would be an issue. Tbh I don’t even think the drive is the problem as a lot of other houses on the street have the same layout and seem to manage just fine. I think it’s a neighbour problem.

I’m also worried because someone mentioned that if I put up a fence on my side and she hits it, she could claim damages from me. That can’t be right?! I’ve tripled checked the title plan and deeds, and there’s no right of access mentioned (except for utility companies to check the drains). There’s nothing in there about neighbours needing access. There was also a section on the property information form where the seller was asked if there was any right of access, and she ticked no.

Maybe I’m reaching here, but I’m a single woman, and they’re a couple, so I can’t help but wonder if things would be different if a man was here with me!

OP, I feel so sorry for you as I think you’ve been more than polite about this to the CF neighbours.
I can understand your frustration as this isn’t fair at all. You’ve invested in your property and some woman can’t even be respectful of it. She’s had more than enough chances!
Could you check your house insurance or contact the Citizens Advice Bureau and find out if CF hits her car on your planned fence that you won’t be liable to pay for car repairs?
Could the end post of the fence nearest to the road be bright yellow so it can clearly be seen, maybe with a couple of reflectors so they would show up in headlights?
I don’t want you to throw more money at another planter for CF to run over but would a higher planter with a yucca or palm type plant in it be an option while you are waiting for the fence to be put in?
Sending you love ❤️

She can’t claim damages if her moving car, under her control, collides with a stationary object. If she drove into a pillar in a car park she couldn’t claim damages from the car park and it’s the same with this.