The driveway drama continues. Neighbours are still driving me insane. What should I do now?

[9champions]

I’m not sure if anyone remembers my last thread, but to save me from explaining the background, I’ll link it here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5482826-neighbour-using-my-drive-landlord-wont-help-what-can-i-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I’m not really looking for opinions on that since we’ve already discussed it. However, I’d like to hear your thoughts on what’s happened since then and what I should do next.

After chatting with the neighbour and her outright refusing to stop, I decided to put up my own fence for some privacy and to stop her from using my driveway. I considered putting down planters, boulders, etc. (which I’ll get to in a minute), but I figured a fence would be a better option since it’s sturdier. It’s not ideal because my driveway is pretty narrow, and the extra cost is frustrating, but their fence is right on the boundary line anyway, so hopefully, it won’t make a big difference, and I’ll still have enough space to get in and out of my car.

I’ve been trying to get someone to come over and give me a quote for the last few weeks, but I’ve been let down a couple of times. Finally, someone is coming this week to have a look. Now, about the planters. I’ve been parking my car there as usual, but somehow she’s still managed to squeeze past. I wanted to put something there while I was away this weekend until the fence was up, so I placed 2 long thin planters there (on my land, not hers). I got home yesterday, and there was a knock on the door. It was her saying she ran over the planters and broke them, offering to pay for a new one, etc. I said no (they were £2.50, so I’m not going to bother asking for that), but isn’t this just ridiculous? The planters were on my drive, so the only reason she hit them was because she drove over my property. She tried to claim she clipped them with her back wheel, but that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t cutting across the drive in the first place. It was honestly like something out of a comedy sketch.

I’d be more sympathetic if this was their only choice, but it’s not. They could:

Take down their fence so he can park the van there instead and put the car on the street to create more space.

Talk to the landlord again about the fence.

Talk to their neighbours and ask them to leave more room on the road for the van.

Move the van when she needs to go out or come back home.

They’re opting for the easiest, most convenient solution, even if it means damaging someone else's property. It just reaches a point where it becomes bone idle.

So what should I do now? Continue with the fence and hope she doesn’t crash into it or damage it? I can let the planter go, but not a fence. I’ve already asked her nicely, and she made excuses. I’ve put obstacles in her way, and she’s just driven over them. So what else can I do? Should I really have to go through all this trouble to stop someone from using my property?

What’s even more confusing is that she says she can’t get out of her car on the side of the fence because there isn’t enough space, so she has to pull onto the driveway instead of reversing and driving off in a straight line. But her partner was in the passenger seat yesterday and got out on that side just fine, so there’s clearly enough room. I think she’s just a bad / lazy driver and doesn’t want to reverse on.

Before anyone says it’s not causing any damage, I don’t care. It’s my property, and I don’t want them using it. If it was now and again, that would be different, but not every day, multiple times a day. They've been dicks and unhelpful in the past, so no, I don't feel like helping them out either.

Surprised no one hasn't said you should give her your drive and park your car on the street.

People are takers, and if you don't want her driving on your property, that's enough reason.

I'm with you, OP. I hope you win out. Fences make good neighbours. Innit?
Good luck. More power to your elbow.

@Terfarina you are assuming these neighbours view the world as you do and therefore another conversation would sort it because they presumably don't realise it's a problem for OP.

But they are not like you, they're not like OP and they're not like me. Because none of us would pigheadedly continue to do something like this after we have been asked to stop. I would never do this in the first place, neither would OP and I can't speak for you here but it sounds like you wouldn't.

Some people are not reasonable. They don't look at things from all sides, weigh up different perspectives and try to find a solution for everyone.

Some people are self serving entitled cunts. It is quite clear from what OP has written that her neighbours fall into this category.

They never asked permission. She has asked them to stop. They continued regardless. She knows what she's dealing with now and needs to find another way to put a stop to it.

OP you've had some good suggestions here. Let us know what you go with.

Yes but if the neighbour is simply driving across some gravel for a few seconds a day - Is this truly that much of a nuisance?

Planters aside - I’d like op to confirm and also it would be good to see a picture

Are they though? NDN came to offer to pay for the bust planter. Perfect opportunity for OP to say 'don't worry, but...'

Some people are simply thick skinned and don't get it, I bet NDN doesn't realise how OP is really feeling about this as it seems OP doesn't want to tell her. Some people need to be told twice.

I would definitely put up something that clearly defines the boundary and damages her car if she hits it . Not sure what that is but if it screens out their property then even better .

I'd get your fence up ... then go and see your neighbour her and her husband and say see that fence if I come home and find any damage to it from either one of your cars you will be paying for more than a planter.. get a camera installed so you can see what's going on how's she's driving .. be firm tell them straight.

Dear heavens, MN parking wars! People are so petty. No wonder I hate humanity and sooner we all die the better. Seriously. I cannot wait for a massive meteor to hit the earth because surely, SURELY, we are due one soon???

Sounds like you should step away from social media.

Let’s hope so and then I won’t have to put the fence up

I would get a 6 x 6” square wooden or concrete bollard concreted in at the very end of your drive dividing the two drives and mount a light on it like a beacon.
I’d also park the car as far forward as possible. You could put matching lights on the wall beside your front door so it looks inviting.

Then get a camera.

It will be expensive for her!

What is the legal situation if someone uses access over a long period of time, eg could she claim a right of way over your drive ?
I’m saying this as mil had a hellish situation with a neighbour who actually blocked up a huge section of their shared access track, including land belonging to MIl, and it was really stressful, and a nightmare to sort out.

I’d put pigeon spikes down - I know you said in a previous thread you’d be worried about children but maybe if they’re secured into the ground and pretty clear then it’s up to neighbour if they continue risking their tyres!

Your neighbour is a cf!

Or a big metal bollard?
https://ultrasecuredirect.com/posts/removable-parking-security-posts-bollards/h-d-black-100p-removable-parking-security-post-001-0480-00-p184.html?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22986355615&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-e2DtKzhkgMV8IBQBh38SzG6EAQYAiABEgL-RvD_BwE

there are cheaper ones but I’m guessing you need a strong one which would do som damage it hit

Huge sympathy OP. Your neighbours are wamkers. Def go the fence route and camera - be ready for her to damage the fence and expect a battle. Go for the cheapest strong fence you can, not a wall which would be expensive and vulnerable to damage.

FGS this is your house your driveway, don’t pay attention to the dickheads on here who think it’s ok to use someone else’s driveway, they are wrong.

good luck!

Instead of a fence or a wall, maybe one or two of those parking bollards posts? They can be attached to a concrete floor or sunk into the ground like a fence post is. You can get fold down or removable ones too but in your case I'd just get a big heavy permanent one for the outer corner that she's cutting across.

Maybe Google weight blocks, which can be steel, iron, or concrete. For example, this shop sells 30cm x 30cm x 30cm concrete blocks. www.wotblock.co.uk/300x300mm-block-range-concrete-interlocking-blocks/

OP you're probably arguing with your neighbour here.

Can't you put gates on the front of your drive? Only needs two posts and even when they're open she won't be able to drive across the front. Keeps your car safer and maybe lowers insurance if you car is locked away.

Exactly what I was about to suggest.

I mentioned on another thread that my husband put up one of those plastic chains for us...It was cut.

Then he put up a heavy chain. Someone took boltcutters to it. (We think it was parents using our driveway at lunchtime - we were between two primary schools.)

It ceased to be a problem once my husband had retired and was visible at that time of day.

Just want to add another vote to the build a wall solution. Let her damage her car, she is a CF

Sorry I don’t have any helpful advice to add other than the ideas already shared, but just wanted to say I’m with you on this OP! I would be feeling the same as you.

I agree with previous posters about a gate at the front of your drive! Surely a gate nips it in the bud? Especially if you have it padlocked so she can’t get out and unlock it to drive across. Or, it would be too difficult for her to drive through and across even when open.

Would be a mild inconvenience for you to have unlock it every time you come and go, but in the long run, probably less frustrating than dealing with your CF neighbour!

And definitely get a Ring/video doorbell of some kind so you’ve got video evidence of any potential damage her terrible driving may cause.