To deliberately use public funds as an income for courses you have no intention to pay back or use to get a job forever?

[Chinsupmeloves]

I will ask the above general question first before giving my reasons afterwards.

Do you someone who has intentionally planned to take free courses while on benefits just to avoid having to look for a job? Even to the extent of a degree to use the loans as income but never intending to work to pay them off? Clearly bright enough to be accepted but calculated to do this.

Just one of those things you think about when you observe how a friend has spent their life...

Pregnant at 17, lived at home, parents raised the child and another baby age 19, the same situation. Didn't and wouldn't get a job or go to college, only benefits.

At age 27 decided she should start to do something with her life, moved out of home with latest BF, also unemployed.

Because on UC able to access free courses. Over the next few years tried a few different things like childcare course, hairdressing, beauty, therapy, dropped out of all with excuse of anxiety and depression. (She really doesn't have these, although tried to get diagnosis, rather just very lazy and entitled)

Early 30s, did an access course and then a degree which required attendance 3 hours a week but in covid times it was online. Did the bare minimum to get a pass, we were delighted and hoped this would be her inspiration to make a career.

Nope, it wasn't the course for me, doing another one, again minimal attendance and cba so failed.

Ok try again, another degree, didn't attend or do the work so another fail.

Both of these were excuse for MH issues, which she has blatantly told us she faked and viewed and planned for the grants and loans as 'her income' with no intention of ever paying back.

It's been calculated by her on UC to avoid looking for employment by studying and money in that way, also to validate to us all that she's doing something other than sleeping and watching TV, which we all know she does every day.

The SM responses of wow you're amazing, well done, are delusional.

Now she's almost 40 and hasn't had to work a single day in her life, hoping to apply for next degree...

It's made me wonder how can this be allowed? It seems while appearing to be active studying to gain employment It's not always the case.

Get funding, start a course, drop out proclaiming MH issues, do it again and again.

Oh and she has been successful in getting a diagnosis of depression. A GP has to acknowledge and send for referral, patient doesn't go to free counselling appointments because too overwhelmed, passed up to a higher level.

The bitter pill is I do actually have anxiety and depression, take medication, have worked since age 16 and built a career/paid off student loans.

I thought the government only funded one degree?

Noone can know whether someone has depression...you certainly describe depression with excess sleeping and lack of motivation.

I'm not sure why you must compare rather than just live your own life

She’s clearly not your friend if you think so poorly of her, do yourselves both a favour and drop the friendship.

She’s also lying to you about her income source (or you’re making assumptions) because no one is financing multiple degrees.

Is the life you've described one that you, or anyone else would actually choose? Never having more then the minimum to live off, never settling into anything, never experienceing successat anything, constantly feeling you need to prove to your 'friends' that you don't just sleep and watch TV.

There's a good chance she didn't 'choose' it either, and has some pretty serious barriers to success. Good on her to have kept trying. I think it's much healthier to do something, even if all she can manage is just a few hours of studying a week, then risk slipping further into depression by doing nothing.

Whar a mess. No it shouldn't be allowed.

You need to stop obsessing over this person’s life. Let it go and concentrate on your own life. If you disapprove of their lifestyle then just break contact.

She sounds more severely depressed than you are tbh and the pattern of starting multiple things but an inability to finish it sounds also like untreated ADHD. You have depression too, but should be grateful yours has responded to treatment.

I get where you are coming from - I have always worked despite a serious physical disability and severe PTSD

But.... I wouldn't want to be in her shoes.she has no pension for starters. Presumably rents so no real say over where she lives

And l strongly suspect big cuts are going to be made to the benefits system as it just isn't sustainable. If labour don't pull their socks up and do it we are going to have a horrifying swing to the right. And that terrifies me because we will lose employment rights and all sorts too

I knew someone who stopped school at 15, refused to get a job and got in a lot of debt that her mother paid off. Since then she has married, bought a discounted house from a relative and has run up thousands in remortgage debt. Her husband is only a little better - she won’t work but he gets a job just before bailiffs are due. This has happened at least three times.
They were given public money for him to start a business which failed - no intention of doing it and no requirement to pay back, she too has had student loans but cba to attend. She spends her days on the intranet and is utterly enabled by her siblings.
When challenged, she goes berserk and then NC.
She is now 64 and still tells everyone that she will get a job one day.

The government funds degrees?

Apparently not xx

I don't think you can get more than four year's loans for higher education.

As I said she has always blatantly told me she's going to say this and that. I know her inside out, as does her family and other friends and she's told us this is her plan.

Who is this person that you know such a phenomenal amount about @Chinsupmeloves ?

I don't even know this much information about my own family members - including my adult DC!

Maybe focus on your own life, and stop stressing over others.

.

In Scotland you can get a second degree under some circumstances, I did as my disability since my last degree meant I couldn't remotely do that job at all.

We've been lifelong friends and I've tried my best to help her. Am at my final exasperation and told her exactly the same as I've said here. While she knows she's being unreasonable she won't change her plans.

Won’t or can’t?

Some people like to kid themselves that people the OP describes don't exist. They clearly do. Not every person claiming is dishonest obviously, but there's a decent enough proportion that know just how to play the system. You see it everywhere. The Merlin RAP is a microcosm of the behaviour which we can extrapolate to wider society.

Sorry to say but absolutely not the case. Yes I could have chosen to lead this sort of life but my parents set standards and values, hers allowed and even encouraged her to stay off school because she had stayed up late drinking with her BF or out.

Yes sadly she had no boundaries so took advantage and then expected her parents to take on her kids. The sad thing is we were both bright and able at school but she had the opportunity to slack off and not bother. As her friend I've always tried to encourage her to make the right choices and always will. Xx

I know but we've been close friends forever but yes do feel maybe time to step back. I just feel sad knowing she could do so much more and feel better about herself with some commitment.

Honestly she really isn't! That's the thing, I know. We lived together for a few years and she's always been the same...chooses to do whatever she wants when she wants, much more a selfish trait than depression.

I think you should focus on your own life.

Not sure how she's getting all these degrees funded.

In Wales, you're only eligible for one lot of student finance unless very specific exceptions apply. I've been able to get funding for a second degree because I made the fun less employable choice the first time around and am retraining in a high demand area now, but the criteria is incredibly strict on which courses qualify.

I'm sorry for your issues and admire you. She actually lives in her parents' house which they pay everything for but claims for being a SP for another house which she uses to socialise and stay at when she falls out with them for not paying for her taxi fayre to university.

As her friend I've often told her it's not right.

As for pensions, when you've not paid into one you can continue to claim benefits amd have rent paid and then get pension credits and have rent paid.

What an odd thing to post. Sounds like she's struggling tbh