University maintenance for stepchildren

[Givenup2026]

I was on a random FB group the other day today and they were talking about how much they’re saving towards their DC uni years. I said that we were giving our DS (my DSS) £250 because we expected him to work.

Many women told me I was being tight, but from my POV his parents would not be able to afford much more than that (probably less if anything) and I have to think about my own DD who will only get the minimum amount. My DH agrees with me, but I don’t know if we’re being unreasonable towards our DS.

For reference as much as we share our day to day expenses, my DH have always had the understanding that I’m not financially responsible for his DC.

£250 as a one off? Per year? Per month? Per month?

It depends on this and on what you can afford.

Personally I don't like to hear it that children and step children are given different starts in life. It's never a child's fault that their parents split up.

It’s per month. And yes it’s not their fault, but if his parents were still together they couldn’t even afford that amount.

if he gets minimum loan, ideally should be topped up to maximum, as the Government expects that. Working in term time is easier said than done too, as jobs are not as easy to come by as people think. Assume his mother will be contributing too?

No, he’s going to get the maximum amount. And yes at least in theory his mother will contribute too.

Will what you and his mum put in equal what your other child will get later down the line?

I mean I guess overall oral maybe? My daughter is getting the minimum amount (as opposed the maximum that my DSS will get). The difference is that my exH doesn’t expect our daughter to work, so I think he’ll give her more. But that’s not on me.

I think if that’s on top of maximum maintenance loan it’s fairly generous. Because the repayments are a fixed percentage of salary over the threshold and most students will never pay off the loan it will not make much difference to them (for repayments long term) if they have minimum or maximum maintenance loan (assuming it is topped up by parents). I assume his max loan is based on his mum’s household income and you are non resident parent and stepmom, whereas your child will get minimum based on you as resident parent and your household plus your ex will be expected to make up a £6k difference. To give them the same amount of available cash you’d need to be doing the £250/m on top of that.

Exactly. Whereas with my DD regardless of which home we declare as her main home she’ll get the minimum amount regardless.

We are giving the same amount as you per month plus carrying on paying for the phone bill, plus insuring their car while still at uni. We’ll probably end up doing more in terms of the odd shop, spends and car maintenance. But We couldn’t afford to give more every month as we have 2 other children reaching uni age in 2years time so how much we can contribute has been a factor in where and what they study. They have made the very grown up decision to go to a very well respected local university and commute.

Yes exactly, we still have other two, and one will need more support because she’ll get the minimum loan.

If he's getting the maximum loan then he shouldn't really "need" any more although some uni accommodation is much more expensive than others of course. So max loan plus 250 a month should leave him in a comfortable position. If his mum gives him some extra too and he gets a job he will end up quite a lot better off than many others.

My son gets the minimum loan and the first two years we topped it up to the equivalent of the maximum. He chose the cheapest accommodation he could but it was still very tight so we've given him a bit extra for the third year (about another 1200 spread over the year). So your DSS would actually have a fair bit more than him!

I think it's fair enough for you and your ex to give your daughter more as she'll have less loan entitlement and more gap to make up. She'll also have a smaller debt at the end than he will ... but as you say, that's the same position he'd be in if his parents had stayed together anyway.

It's very easy to say oh they should just get a job but it's not that easy. My son has had to do various internships related to his degree (unpaid) so there was no real way of getting a paid part time job on top of that. Job should really be a nice to have extra, not relied upon as a source of income. The loan system is based on parent income, so if they can only borrow less than the max, parents should really be helping fill the gap.

If he is on maximum loan he may also be entitled to grants and not need topping up.

Yeah one of the unis could give him a grant but it’s a fairly small amount in the grand scheme of things .

If he’s getting the maximum loan, £250 from you, a bit from uni, some from his dm, and works he’ll be absolutely minted! Far better off than most of his peers. Why don’t you give him
less and save the difference for him later?

The new loans are for 40 years. It’s expected 75% will repay them now. It’s based on salary though so job will matter. If he’s got max loan, I think it’s reasonably generous to top him up. Your own DD should expect exactly the same. Top up to max loan and £250 a month on top.

Except she won't have as much loan to pay back so it's not the same.

We could… it’s really tricky and somewhat uncharted territory. He’s also the first one to go to uni from his family, so I feel we have to support him as much as we can.

@Whereohwhere2026The lower paid really don’t pay much back and the interest racks up. What you borrow makes no odds to what you pay.

If he gets the maximum loan, £250/month from you, £250/month from his Mum, then even without a job he’ll be one of the richest students there.

The thing is that I don’t know if his DM will
him £50 or £250 I genuinely don’t know how much she can afford.

Surely you give what you can afford to give, whether that’s £250 per month or more. You can’t give money that you don’t have. However, jobs for students aren’t always that easy to find or maintain.

I don't understand how your DSS will get the maximum loan and your DD if minimum if they are both living with you and your DH (perhaps I've got that wrong?)

I thought the loan amount was based on household income IE the parent plus their partner/ new husband. Non resident parent is not taken into account.

Please do correct me if I've got this wrong!

Here’s a random idea - ask her!

I assume the dss lives with his mum who lives in a very low income household.

My Stepson mostly live with his DM it’s 60/40 whereas my daughter is 50/50.

As much as I’m friendly with his mother I’m not “friendly” enough to
ask her about this. And his dad is super vague about everything