Would you consider swapping nudes and messaging someone daily for months cheating?

[Thewovendiary]

I’m shamelessly posting here for more traffic (have posted in relationships)

I’m so upset to find out that my partner has been messaging another woman for months and swapping multiple nude photos - I feel he is now gaslighting me and minimising the situation - he says there was no physical intimacy so it’s not cheating.

Please help me :( feel like I’ve been gut punched - I thought we were so happy

Did he ask you first if you were okay with it? Did he tell you about it openly? Did you both agree not to be exclusive?

if the answer to the above is no, no, no, then .. it’s cheating.

People seem to think there is a point system where someone must reach a certain criteria to be dumped. The only criteria that matters is your boundaries. I don’t know anyone whose boundaries would be so lax they wouldn’t call it cheating.

Of course it's cheating.

I’m so sorry.

Without a doubt it’s cheating, what a lying scumbag!

Dear god op
Fuck him right off he's a right piece of shit

He can deny it is cheating (even though it is), but he can’t deny that it is completely disrespectful to you and your relationship with him.

Dump his sorry ‘out there’ arse. He’s a loser to do this at all, but an even bigger loser for then gaslighting you about it.

Yes

Whats the need to label it
anything other than unacceptable

I consider it cheating. But that doesn't matter. What matters is what YOU think. His argument is a nonsense anyway - you can break up with him for any reason you want, cheating or no cheating. You don't have to have some kind of proof his behaviour is bad enough.

Your initial reaction is the correct one
It's cheating and not okay.

He knows this himself and is just chatting shit to you.
He'd like go wild if you did the same.

100% bin him

I would only vote YABU as in 'YABU to stay with this lying, cheating POS'!'

I’d consider one nude and one message on one day cheating so…
He’s a prick for doing it but an absolute fucking dickhead for trying to make out like he hasn’t done anything wrong.
Throw him the whole way out the door.

Ask yourself how he would react if you'd been swapping nude photographs with a bloke at work...

100% cheating.
I'm so sorry. Get rid of him.

Yes I would.

Tbh it’s irrelevant what label you put on his behaviour. If you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who behaves like this, it’s your prerogative to end things.

This.

Yes it's cheating and FYI he would absolutely consider it cheating if you were doing it! Dump immediately and be glad that you've found out so you don't waste another minute of your life with this arsehole!

Dump The Fuckin Scumbag !! What else is he doing that you've NOT YET found out about ? Because it's a dead cert he's doing more than this.

Is he trying to suggest that it’s NOT cheating? That would cause me to absolutely rage. Cheating could break my heart but honestly, gaslighting me and trying to argue that this wasn’t cheating would make me so angry that it would make the decision really straightforward.

If you said to him, “ oh I didn’t know that sending nudes and messaging other people was allowed in our relationship, I’ll crack on and send some to the guy that always flirts with me at work”, I don’t suppose he’d like that.

If they are normal friendship photos he’ll be happy to send them to all of his friends.
His lying and gaslighting is unforgivable and that’s without the cheating.

With physical evidence it doesn’t really matter what he says, it’s how you feel about it.

Don’t stay, it will almost certainly get worse for you.

He's sexually interacting with another woman so yes, he's cheating and it's an ongoing affair.

Does it matter what he or you call it? Do you really want to stay with a man who does this?

At the risk of me sounding like a total idiot - he told me she’d been blackmailing him for money and that’s why he was speaking to her? Realise that sounds totally far fetched

He's being blackmailed to sext her?

Girl. He's a lying cheater and that's a whopper. He thinks you're dumb or desperate because that's bonkers.

He might have been giving her money and this is his cover story.

Well I messaged her and she told me he had told her he would send her pictures to her boss & dad if she told me!