So worried about almost 3yo DS

[happybirthdayjism]

Hey,

Didn’t get much of a response on the other boards so trying here.

my DS is three at the beginning or March but he seems really delayed I’m starting to get so worried. He has two older sisters who are 10 and 7.

He started preschool in the September and staff there can see my concerns so have some extra support for him. He has also started private speech therapy sessions recently but it’s too soon to see any difference yet.

These are my concerns:

He has lots of words (100s) and a few short 2/3 word sentences. Anything else he says are quotes or phrases like “big fast car” or “lovely day”. There what he’s heard from me or Paw Patrol

He never answers a question or engages
in conversation. He will occasionally say no in response to something he really doesn’t want to do bedtime, nappy change etc

He sometimes responds to his name but not always

He sometimes follows basic instructions but some days not at all

He doesn’t mind being around other kids but doesn’t seek interaction at all. He does at home with us

He has good eye contact when he wants to but not always if prompted

He sometimes stops saying certain words or phrases

He has never really pointed or waved. Sometimes looks if I point but not always

He can count to 10 if he wants to (won’t if I ask him to). He has no concept of colours, shapes or letters

He doesn’t really take part in imaginative play

It doesn’t feel normal at this age. My older two were having full on conversations at this age.

He doesn’t do these things

Flap his hands (maybe seen him do it a few times)

Never seen him walk on tip toes

He occasionally spin (few times a week max)

Doesn’t really have meltdowns or tantrums

Doesn’t get stressed in loud or new places

Not that bothered about routine

Doesn’t order or line things up

Has anyone else experience of this kind of development/behaviour?

We have been referred by the GP for an appointment with a paediatrician but have been warned of up to a 3 year wait.

I’m worried about what to do in the meantime. He starts school next September which means we’ll have to apply this November. I’m concerned mainstream won’t be for him.

I have no idea whether this is autism, a learning delay or something else.

Thanks for reading and sorry it was so long!

Not everything on your list but my son definitely showed a lot of what you said:

speech delay
didn’t react to loud noises or environments
didn’t always answer his name
couldn’t engage with questions being asked
alone play
not a tonne of role play
generally a happy child though, far fewer tantrums compared to his older brother at the same age!

there’s more but ultimately he needed grommets and adenoids reduced (privately I add as the NHS don’t treat this) had them fitted in November and the difference is like night and day.

Has he had regular infections?

@SMM2020 Thanks, I should have said we’re due a hearing test next month. Was your son ever diagnosed with anything? Has he caught up?

@SMM2020 No infections

I was going to ask about a hearing test. I'm surprised they didn't do this before he started speech therapy. Hearing loss would be my first concern with these symptoms.

Hi, dont panic , all children are different and learn things quicker than others, everything these days appears to be pigeon holes. Like you I worried ,the Dr told me he was lazy , but when he started school he was fine, see what the experts say 😏 and dont worry .

@NuffSaidSam Hearing test is booked for next month. We tried to do one last month but he didn’t want to follow instructions.

@Brinny Thansk. Did your son catch up or was he ever diagnosed with anything? X

Have you had a hearing test? I’d first check for glue ear before worrying about anything else.

@Dreamingofdaffodils We have a hearing test next month. We did attempt one but he didn’t really understand what he needed to do

At 5yrs old he was prescribed glasses, also dyslexic, yes he caught up and made lots of freinds and very creative.

He was diagnosed with glue ear - his ear canals are also extremely narrow so would get build up and his adenoids were enlarged so every time he had any kind of virus, nothing could drain making him deaf in essence. He’s caught up a lot in 3 months, speaking in full sentences although diction isn’t always there, we can have conversations with him, he’s playing with his brother a lot more, more roleplay and interest in colours, shapes, letters etc We’re starting speech therapy this week to give him a bit of a helping hand before starting school. The fact you have the hearing test soon will hopefully give you some answers - the result of that in theory should bump you up the nhs list but the wait times are awful, so feel for you.

@Brinny That’s great news he’s made lots of progress.

@SMM2020 Was your son a similar age at the time. Great he’s been able to catch up.
Really would like to get the hearing ruled out.
Yes the wait time is so bad. I think we’d have to consider private if we could stretch to that.

Thank you , you it can be so many things ,hearing, eyes. Just see what the experts say x

He was 3 years and 3 months - we’d held off purely because it was very borderline in the sense of nursery and HV being worried but he had 3 back to back infections, so we called it especially with him being a summer babe and already on the back foot starting school.

Maybe just start getting some quotes - initial consultation is about £150-250 dependent on who you go to. It seems a mad price to pay for a 15-30 minute appointment though.

@SMM2020 Were they ear infections?

I might call a few places I know that for possible diagnosis incase we go down that route.

I get confused looking online as I keep thinking autism but he symptoms don’t seem to quite match.

Yes ear infections, we’d had a fairly clean spell without for about 8 months and his speech started to slowly improve, then he was hammered again for 8 weeks and it went backwards.

I know so many people who have had to go the private route for things like this, it puts you as a parent in a rock and a hard place.

@SMM2020 He has had a few throat and chest infections. During one of those his ears were inflamed.

It really is. It’s school I’m getting concerned about. I know it’s a year and a half away but it’s going to come around so fast.

So this is what we’d have on top of the ear infection - no oozy ears but red and inflamed, the obvious infection bit would be his throat and chest. Basically the ENT said, every time he got a cold his inner ear, sinuses and adenoids would swell more, causing more of a blockage, none of the mucus could drain, get stuck allowing for any bacteria to thrive which would then cause an infection further down. I’m probably simplifying it but this was the gist.

Its early days, as he grows older he will say more words and form better sentences together. I believe in his growth and education.

My nephew was like this, barely talked at all at age 3, and his Mum was really worried, and then suddenly when he started nursery, you couldn't shut him up. It was as if he couldn't be bothered to talk at home, but then when he started to see lots of other kids and they would talk to him, he talked back.

Get the hearing test done, but try not to worry OP, they all develop at different rates, and actually when they're this age, an awful lot can happen in 18 months, think back to how he was 18 months ago, I bet he's made a lot of progress since then, hasn't he?

A two year old shouldn't need to be able to follow instructions for a hearing test - was this organised by the Paediatric team at your local hospital?

You're doing a great thing getting him started on speech therapy, we are getting it for our son too ouch it is expensive!! But he's making great progress in. I would definitely raise your concerns with a health visitor, give them a call. It's good to get onto lists and get investigation with them asap, they'll have a better sense of rest might be going on for him too

sounds like you’re really advocating for your son! I agree there’s quite a few traits of autism you’ve listed so it’s good to be questioning it. What does his speech therapist think about his delayed language?
he sounds like he could be a gestalt language processor (this is not a diagnosis) but a way that children learn language, different to the typical language development route. Sometimes associated with autism, and sometimes not. Look it up and see what you think and maybe ask your SLT about it if you think it’s a fit.

Thanks all.

@ThisAquaFinch Yes his therapist has said he’s possibly a gestalt language processor and that it can be linked with autism but not always. She’s explained how from this he could develop typical language so that’s helpful. Although I do just feel like it’s an autism sign to add to my metal list 😭

@Sprinklesandsprinkles So expensive!! How often is your son having sessions? We’re every other week. Hoping that’s enough as we can’t really afford more. We have an appointment with the HV coming up so hoping that will help.

@AmplePlayer It was just a self referral through the GP. He needed to stand still and press a button when he heard a sound and look up. He just didn’t want to do it. He wanted to explore the room and all the cupboard he knew has toys in.

@SunMoonandChocolate Thanks. Looking back at videos 18 months ago he is a lot different but not as much as I’d expect.

He is very vocal and chats all day. Most of it doesn’t make any sense but the odd word or phrase is in there. For example:

”babble babble babble where’s daddy babble babble shops babble apples, bananas”