am i unreasonable

[help1972]

Hello , i am just recently diagnosed with AF amongst other issues and under a cardiologist and have a treatment plan. My husband is the one who has had affairs, looks at pron and generally flips back and says i am the one unreasonable. i think the stress i have been under has contributed to my af and now he is saying i am not nice to him. i am really really trying but struggling to do my best. i have said if i am stopping him do stuff he really wants (no one is going to judge him) then he must move on... today we went out for lunch and he walked on ahead... :(

Ok!!!?

Get riddddd

Sorry but what's AF and pron?

Atrial fibrillation and porn.

I am guessing its heart issues and porn

Ditch the bastard and see your health vastly improve.

thank you - i am doing my best but sometimes feel that he wants out but doesnt want to go because of the kids, he is just staying for them. my health is suffering and i am suffering

Get rid of him, he's not a good partner for anyone but especially with your heart issues you need to be rid for the sake of your health.

i am sitting here crying since we got home in bed as i feel so rough and he hasnt spoken to me since.. feeling very sorry for myself. cant talk to anyone

Have you got any family or friends you can talk to is this the life you want living with an abusive man who makes you feel like crap.

not really they wouldnt believe it.. unless i had eveidence

Did he tell you that. I believe you and I don't even know you.

He's had affairs and treats you badly, you need to leave him. You will manage your health condition better without the stress of being in this relationship. Speak to family and friends and make a plan.

It sounds like you could do with some really open and honest communication around what is best for each of you. Try to state the facts calmly - " I don't feel that this relationship is working either of us as it is. I think there are things we both need, that we aren't getting. Can we have a discussion about whether there are things we can change within the relationship, or if an amicable separation might be a better option?"
If you can do this with the support of a couples therapist, it might be a good idea.

so now a few weeks on - he has been nice the day before my procedue nice before my procedure - and then the consultant called off the procedure cause he didnt feel it was right 0 i am on more meds for another 5 weeks then we will see what happens, he has tonight had a go at me, told me i am selfish, gone all quiet at the dinner table nd put blame on me - i really am sitting here typing this and dont know what to do i am just for the fisrt time in 20 years worreid bout me and risk of stroke he doesnt seem t care and tells me life goes on

there is horrible atmosphere and he makes me feel bad, i feel i am a bad person i have tried to talk to him to say i can't make big decisions like this but he is pushing me to ending it all

Get rid. Your health will improve if you do.

its hard though .. i know i can keep moaning but a big decision like this 0 he is very aggressive and i am scared of his reaction

Please contact Women's aid.
You are being abused.
Contact family.
Tell your medical team of his emotional abuse and the stress you are under.

Absolutely. He's an abuser and it needs to be brought out into the open.

I am so sorry, it must be like living with Jeckyl & Hyde.

What family & friends can you count on?

my mum.. . i can count on but she is elderly.. we had moved in with her as we sold our house and now this has happened he says i am dragging my feet in finding a new home.. he could live anywhere i can't .. we have the whole top floor of my mums place. i apprecite he wants his ownp lace but surley stressing me out.. this isnt the only problem as some of you will hve read.. i just dont know what i am doing with all these meds i dont know what to do and dont really have anyone other than my mum who tells me its my choice she can see right through him

Well it doesn't sound as though buying another house with him would be a good idea. Split the proceeds of the sale and get shot of him. Would your mum be prepared to tell him to leave?

i think so but i think i need to get big girl pants on... i am 50

He is not husband material nor father material and he needs getting rid of.
He will not be helping with your AF as stress can play a part in triggering this when you already have it.
I have had AF for years and a raft of treatments and could not have dealt with it with the sort of things you are living with.
The meds can sometimes have their side effects too and dealing with those and your OH is so much for you.
Maybe concentrate on getting the AF under control and then think about what to do about your OH.
I am sorry you have this to deal with.