Worst Valentine’s Day ever

[Nothavingagoodvalentinesday]

It’s Valentine’s Day.
My daughter isn’t speaking to me.
I have just said goodbye to my grandsons (her children) for what might be the last time in a while.
And my DH (bless his cotton socks) has gone to the football in a town two hours away leaving me alone with only the dog for company until at least eight o’clock.
Please will someone tell me I have a right to be miserable, or am I supposed to invoke the wartime spirit and keep calm and carry on. I’m beginning to lose my grip on reality.

I think a big problem we have at times as women is not making our needs and expectations clear and expecting them to be listened to. Obviously the situation with your daughter is unrelated and I hope it gets sorted, but maybe next year tell DH what you want to do on Valentines Day. It doesn't have to be anything grand of course, but eg spending a bit of time together over a nice meal isn't.

If it goes unheard and unacknowledged, reconsider many things.

Jesus, Really?

Sorry you’re having a lonely day. My view of Valentine’s Day is that it was traditionally for couples who weren’t yet together : the anonymous message was “be my Valentine”. They were always unsigned. If you’ve been together a while then it’s not really a thing.

I hated getting stuff because it a certain date.

When we were still single, my friend and I used to send each other Valentines cards from different places, so that we knew we’d get one. But always unsigned.

Valentines day is just another day.
What's going in with your DD and GC would be hard on any day and you feeling upset about that and unsupported by your DH is valid.

Sorry you're having a crappy day OP.

I suggest that you ring DH & ask him to bring home a takeaway. In the meantime, have a lovely bath, light some scented candles get into some comfy clothes & cuddle up in front of the TV with the dog watching something that you enjoy.

I’m sorry that you’ve fallen out with your daughter. That sucks.
However, Valentine’s Day is for young people who aren’t yet seasoned by the sheer graft required to sustain a marriage.

fFS there’s always one.

I think it’s the recommendation of wine as an assumption that everyone likes wine or alcohol. I don’t assume everyone likes cheese or cakes just because I do so I don’t say ‘Oooh, get yourself some nice cheese to eat’ which is what I would do if I wanted to treat myself. As someone who drinks very rarely (and never wine 🤢) I notice this sort of thing a lot. It’s a default suggestion and it’s a bit annoying.

I’m another one whose favourite thing is being at home alone with the dog. Actually my husband is here and I’m mildly annoyed about it 😂

I hope you watched a film with the dog, did an outdoor activity with it, then ordered in food you like and the family doesn't.

You’re a grown up and your husband is enjoying the football. Not a big deal, it’s only Valentine’s Day!

im sorry about your daughter and hope you resolve things, I hope you can salvage some of the day when your husband gets home.
Mines been shit it's my third one since my husband died and I'm so sick of being on my own and not having g anyone who loves me and I know it's just a day but its pretty hard when it's rammed down your throat everywhere you look

I’m sorry for your loss @Scoose

A hard day for you. 💐

It's my fourth so sending some in solidarity.

I hope your evening passes well OP.

I'm so sorry sending solidarity right back at you, it's truly shit

Third Valentines Day since my husband died, we would just exchange cards and he might buy me flowers. My DIL brought me daffodils yesterday, and my dog is cuddled up next to me so things are okay.
OP, I hope you can sort things out with your daughter- that is the important thing.

The issues with your daughter and your grandsons ate nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, they just happened to occur on Valentines Day, which is just the 14th day of February.

Do you usually do something with your husband for Valentines Day? Did you get him a card/gift? Maybe he has something planned for when he gets back later?

Yes this is it.

No one ever comes on MN complaining about their dog being vile to them, or abandoning them, or not speaking to them. Dogs are God’s way of apologising for humans.

Thanks everyone. I just needed a bit of support. I have had a lovely walk with the dog - very muddy but not actually raining - I have had an ice cream, eaten lots of chocolate, drunk half a bottle of wine (fortunately I’m not an alcoholic) and watched “Airplane” so had a good laugh. Feeling much better now.
I don’t know how the problem with DD will work out. We had a bad row about three weeks ago. Last time she stopped speaking to me it lasted 3 months. Trouble is she won’t take my calls so I can’t apologise for my part in the argument.

We had our dog of 14 years put to sleep today - it's been the toughest Valentine's either of us have had.

Currently curled up together sobbing, cherishing our love of one another, sharing our love for our dog and feeling blessed to have the small but welcome distraction of our gorgeous children.

Oh for godsake it was a jokey, lighthearted post.

Im pissed off too OP. My DS is doing a Brooklyn Beckham for some reason and my exhusband is at a great event I was going to today so I didn't go as I can't stand the sight of him.
Im chilling with my cats.

Omg 😂

Thankfully you've clarified that you've walked the dog, just before someone popped up and suggested that not only were you a recovering alcoholic, but you might not have legs. Even worse, that you are allergic to chocolate.
There's no easy answer to people who use the silent treatment and won't discuss things.

That’s tough, my hubby has had to work all day and late last night plus any number of hours going forward most likely tomorrow and early mornings, late nights all of next week. He did break for an hour and we ate together. But it’s life…. Book a meal out next weekend…. It’s not really the date of the year that matters, just that you take some time to spend together.