How much rent to charge 18 year old?

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

My daughter left college last year and started looking for a job, she started working just after Christmas. She works part time hours and her take home pay per month is around £900. She's putting £50 in to a lifetime ISA and she has no other bills (I currently still pay her phone contract which is about £30 a month)

We provide all her food, she eats tea with us and we have breakfast things/snacks in the house. She doesn't usually eat dinner but will sometimes buy herself a meal deal if she wants something.

So what would be reasonable? I was thinking around £200 a month and I'm happy to put £50 of that in her lifetime ISA too if she wants. She is saving up for a car so isn't spending frivolously. Is £200 too much?

Why would they be totally shocked? I lived in my mom’s studio in my early twenties and used the money I saved on rent to move to a new country and pay for my tuition upfront. I also paid for a year of rent upfront. None of it shocked me.

Ok, so my experience is dated. I was made to leave school at 16 and went into full time employment. Early to mid 1980s. My mother expected to see my payslip and took £80 -£100 per month. They were not poor.

Children should not have to pay to live in houses they didn’t choose to be born into. Nurture your children. Encourage them to save. It’s a good habit.

My parents would never charge me rent! And to those who think that is a set up for failure, it's not that black and white. I was taught to respect money and contribute to household chores. If I lived with my parents, I would have paid my own phone bill and share expenses for groceries or any food that I might buy.

Many (non-western) cultures never charge their children rent AND manage to pay for university without burdening their kids with life long student loans. I’m talking third world countries here. So no need to mention affordability. Yeah, failed parenting. More like priorities.

Because they’ve never had to pay for anything and been given it all on a plate. They had no idea how much running a house costs.

My 18 and 19 year old sons contribute to my home-£50 a week each.
4 of us in the house. Me, their 12 year old brother and the 2 of them.
Both kindly offered and it goes in the house pot.
Gas, electricity.
shopping.
Water.
Internet.
petrol contribution-I’m the only driver-school, work to different places.
meals cooked.
clothes washed, dried and ironed by me.
lunches for work made by me.
They also muck in with the house chores too, strip their beds, wash the bedding and keep a clean room.
pay their phone bills and their gym memberships themselves.
They’re kind, grateful and appreciative.
Ive been a single mum for a very long time, they don’t eat like children, they eat me out of house and home-as they should, it’s their home-but at 6ft 1 and 6ft 3 Adults, plus a12 year old 5ft 5 you can imagine how much my shopping is.
It’s just me and them and the price of stuff isn’t coming down, across the whole lot of expenses.
I paid my way when I lived at home and I never batted an eye handing it over to my mum. I was truly grateful and proud of myself-My 2 sons give me the same look.
If anything should ever happen to me, I can rest easily knowing they will know how to manage money and keep house.
should I ever be graced with daughters in law and grandchildren, they will be looked after and if I’m not and they remain single, they will look after themselves-I’ve taught them everything they know, teaching them about money and contributing in life, was just as important.
They can live at home forever, they know that.
They don’t begrudge me a penny.
All 3of mine are treated equally at Christmas and birthdays.
Tonight is takeaway for tea, one is at work and his is here ready for when he gets in very shortly.
We’re a family and we take care of each other, I’m very proud of them and they appreciate what they have.

Many families in third world countries sell their children or watch them die because they can't afford to pay for them.

That you can definitely call a parenting fail.

Yes but when they turn 18 our UC and CB is cut, so technically they do cost more. Our children are not adults yet but unless we come into some money or have a magical pay rise it will be a financial struggle to support two adult children. I would probably only charge them their shares of utilities though.

I think the failure is more of society in general. It used to be that young adults would get married, their parents would help with a down payment for their home and wedding, and carry on helping with the grandchildren. Now, when young adults hit adulthood, parents charge them rent and say that will get them going in life. Perhaps they won’t move in with a partner until their forties, while we keep relying on imports for our next generation.

I don’t think it’s failed parenting. My sons were privately educated and we paid for them through uni and never stopped their allowance during holidays etc. My youngest did briefly live at home after graduating whilst he waited to move into his own place. He was working, well paid so paid board, which we did give him back once he moved out. My eldest went to work in London straight after graduation. He needed to pay 6 months rent upfront which we gave him, but we insisted that he set up a standing order and paid us back and tbh he was happy to do so as he was raised that once you were working you paid your way and didn’t rely on bank of mum. & dad.

I think you’re confusing never having had to work with never having had to pay for anything. The young adult in question works a part-time job and earns £900 and naturally cannot afford to run a house. She can’t afford a horse either - and being parted with a symbolic sum each month for things she can’t afford will hardly teach her any lessons; it would just keep her further away from being able to afford anything.

Do parents not teach their kids budgeting skills when growing up? Do they never discuss family finances with and in front of them? Do their kids not know how much utilities or mortgage and food cost? Are the kids kept in a bubble and kept away from these family discussions but when they turn 18, bam - they’re fully functioning adults. Perhaps there are other ways to teach your children about how to run a house than taking money from the earnings of their first part time job. They could be encouraging them to save their earnings for their future. I’m baffled by the number of people on here suggesting OP takes the kid’s money to save it for them. What exactly is that teaching the child when instead you can teach them how to save it themselves?

Not teaching your growing teen about finances and budgeting is more of a parenting fail than not taking their money (as another poster suggested).

I'd tell her to take over her own phone contract to build her credit score and say you will charge her £100, as you say she doesn't eat dinner with you, just breakfast and tea, on condition she puts £250 into LISA.

I wouldn't charge rent on a part time salary. Full time, sure, £300 a month to cover costs. Having said that if you need the money, £200 sounds reasonable.

Dont worry about what anyone else thinks and do what you think is right, or what will help to run the home.

My son pays rent £50 a week and has done since he started apprenticeship earning about £1200 a month, and I lost the support for him (UC, CB)

He's buying a house just now at age 18 so not a complete parenting fail, but maybe a helping hand to get him out of the door. Oh and I gave him the deposit I'd saved since he was born so not a complete parenting fail oh judgy ones 😂

Shows you know nothing or are very privileged. When my mum (who was born in 1939) was working full time from 16 and living at home she had to give nearly all her salary to her mum and just keep some pocket money for spending. My dad was the same.

This was normal in my experience in working class families, or at least paying board of some kind was, because in the 1950s/60s you were expected to be moving towards getting married in your early 20s and having your own household. Yes my grandparents paid for their wedding and my grandma who was a talented seamstress made my mum's dress and the bridesmaids' dresses.

Yes things are different now but it's just not the case that for eons parents fully supported their offspring financially and gave them handouts, and it's simply nonsense to say that parents are only now charging rent and that wasn't a thing in the past.

And my parents both got into grammar school and were clever enough to go to university but never had that aspiration. It wasn't on their radar. They were expected to get a job at 16 and contribute to the household. Their parents left school at 14 or 12 and worked from then. A generation before that and little kids were dodging in between dangerous machinery in the cotton mills to collect the waste.

We have two adult children back living with us. They are good company and pitch in. They also look after home and pets when we travel.

We don't charge rent, but that's because they both seem to be pretty responsible with their own money. If they were wasting money, we would charge and put some away for them (without telling them).

So we pay for food, electricity, internet etc. They pay their own phones and car expenses as well as things like medical insurance and personal toiletries.

Each child also puts $300 a week into property (they've purchased a small investment property together as they couldn't afford anything alone), $100 a week into their pension and $100 a week into a managed share fund. Those are dollars, not pounds. They also have some personal savings. They still seem to have enough disposable cash for an extra streaming service each, some Uber Eats and trips to the movies.

If we were struggling ourselves, or they were really blowing their money, we would charge rent. But while we can afford it, we are happy to have them back for a few years while they set themselves up for the future.

DD and her boyfriend both live here, separate rooms. They are both full time uni students. I don’t charge them anything, we eat out every other week, usually breakfast or lunch.

I don’t charge either of them for being here, I did pay DDs insurance this year as she was still at college when she passed her test, but she paid for her own lessons. We are going away soon, they have both paid their equal share. Her boyfriend even offered to contribute to pet boarding costs. They cooks for us at least once a week, sometimes twice, at their expense for the meat and any extras as we usually have a good stock of veg, rice and sauces etc. They both buy their own food, and will pick something up for us while they’re out. If it’s milk or whatever that the whole house uses, they don’t take payment, in fact I think they bought the last lot of dog food too.

All I ask is that they save £150 a month into a savings account, each, and that they don’t take the piss.

I ask my adult son for £350 a month which is 15% of his take home pay. I will give him the majority back when he leaves home. He still saves and he has an inheritance from his grandparents for a deposit. I don’t need the money but again, I think as an adult he needs to contribute to his living expenses. He shares a car with his sister who is at uni and barley home and the only thing he has to contribute to the upkeep of the car is petrol.

The same amount you'd have her charge you, should you have to move in with her in old age due to infirmity.

I'd be mortified to charge my own child, BTW. Plenty of other ways to teach them economic responsibility that should have started way before 18.

I think she should take over paying for her phone and pay you £300pm.

Because once they’re earning they need to understand that a roof over your head, heating, hot water, etc. are not gifts from heaven. If they pay nothing, it’ll come as that much more of a shock when they do eventually move out, and have to pay not just rent or mortgage, but all the bills on top - gas, electricity, water, broadband, council tax….

Parents who don’t actually need the money can always save it for them.

Absolutely spot on. You’ve articulated that better than I ever could

Let her pay her own phone bill so she has some responsibility for managing a bill and then ask for a contribution towards food and energy bills. £150 a month seems reasonable on this basis.