How much rent to charge 18 year old?

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

My daughter left college last year and started looking for a job, she started working just after Christmas. She works part time hours and her take home pay per month is around £900. She's putting £50 in to a lifetime ISA and she has no other bills (I currently still pay her phone contract which is about £30 a month)

We provide all her food, she eats tea with us and we have breakfast things/snacks in the house. She doesn't usually eat dinner but will sometimes buy herself a meal deal if she wants something.

So what would be reasonable? I was thinking around £200 a month and I'm happy to put £50 of that in her lifetime ISA too if she wants. She is saving up for a car so isn't spending frivolously. Is £200 too much?

We charge our DD1 rent and have done since she graduated. Weirdly it’s £193/month, a figure DH and DD reached through negotiation!
But regardless of the amount it’s the point of principle. What DD pays does not cover what she costs, not even close.
when she first graduated she was given the choice of all inclusive or B&B and priced accordingly. She opted for AI so think she gets a pretty good deal.
She’s 25 now and getting established in her career and believes she’ll have enough behind her to move out at the end of the year, HURRAH 🥳

She came home from work the other day after a particularly challenging day and DH and I were in the kitchen with a bottle of wine and music blaring.
she turned to us and sighed heavily and said ‘my god it’s like living in a house share rather than a home’.
Well, that’s exactly what it is!!

We’re financially supporting DD2 through uni at the moment so any extra income is welcomed.

We charge ours £200 pcm. We need it. Food and bills are loads. They both have savings and more disposable income than us. I'm still paying for the phone for our youngest until he upgrades and I also pay his car insurance and car servicing and MOT. I'm looking forward to him upgrading his car and his phone.

It really isn’t. The bizarre culture of charging DC to stay in their own homes doesn’t happen in the vast majority of countries and they manage fine.

DH is Spanish and he says it would be absolutely scandalous and the talk of thr town if it happened there.

Yes and people say well if they rented privately it'd cost more, we'll that's the point they don't ! They live at home and parents should be encouraging every spare penny to go towards savings for a deposit or rentals.

It shouldn't ever be a 'houseshare' with parents it should be home.

So if there are three adult children working and still living at home , no contributions towards fuel, food are required ? Blow that! Parents pay for everything, while the children have a load of disposable income? No way José!

I was never charged rent at home and am financially stable and independent. I will never charge my children rent unless I cannot afford to house them without it.

This comment is so sad and even sadder that you haven't noticed that.

It's privileged to say "I wouldn't ever" on thread where numerous people have explained why they HAVE TO charge.

It's great to have the security of knowing you'd NEVER charge... but that's the privilege.

Right now, I wouldn't need to charge my kids rent or board, but who knows if I'd need tk.in the future. The last few years have been the biggest cost of living crisis (certainly in my lifetime anyway)... lone parents would lose maintenance, benefits and child benefit when kids turn 18 and go out to work. Some people's rent is income assessed and will rise when kids go out to work.

There is a difference between saying "I wouldn't charge if I didn't need to" and "I would never charge".

Ours obviously pay for their own fuel, also clothes, socialising, treats, toiletries.hair cuts etc. All the things we used to pay when they were at school and college so we're actually quids in.

They just don't pay our bills because we'd be paying them anyway and parents have a responsibility imo to get them saving for their own places.

All the posters grabbing money from their minimum wage kids, did you at least have some kind of savings plan in place that matured when they were 18 to at least give them a financial start?

there is an argument that once a young person leaves education & starts work they should be the ones now looking after their parents.

that’s the attitude my dad had when he started work. He was able to contribute so his parents could live a better life than they could when he was at school.

Just because you don't need your DC to cover that, doesnt mean no one else does.
My DC didn't get the bus to college (our nearest bus stop is outside the college, a 5 min walk away) and took sandwiches from home/ came home for lunch. So when they left college they cost me the same as when they were there.

And in terms of the "we have to pay the bills anyway" that's true. But as a single person my council tax would be cheaper if DC weren't here. I'd have less streaming services, probably cheaper/slower WiFi, less food and I'd use less electricity. Plus, if you rent and get any help with your housing, you lose £93 pcm when DC turn 21 because it's expected that they cover the shortfall.

I find the number of people saying nothing totally bizarre. £900 a month is a decent amount a I think one job as a parent is to teach our children about financial responsibility. Far too many bring their children up entitled to everything, it's not the real world. Once they're 18 and earning of course they should contribute to the household. It's possibly a good time to sit down with them and discuss how many household bills there are. Obviously if you can afford to you might put it in to a savings account for them but I don't think parents should be shamed for asking their children for a contribution. It's preparing them to be responsible for their own household. I think £200 out of £900 seems very fair.

All the posters grabbing money from their minimum wage kids, did you at least have some kind of savings plan in place that matured when they were 18 to at least give them a financial start?

when our daughter turned 16 Dh was diagnosed with a life changing illness that meant he might never work again. (Thankfully that didn’t prove to be the case though he is now only part time & in a lower level role). So no, we didn’t. Every penny up to then had been spent on their education so they could have the careers they wanted (primarily music/dance lessons & summer schools).

Yes you would be paying your bills anyway, but food, water, gas and electric aren’t cheap, young adults use a lot, but that’s ok, Mum and Dad will pay!

I do think we would eventually charge something if all 3 end up back at home, but whilst we are financially able I would rather they save. I think it will change over time.

E.g. at 18 in their first role, we are encouraging saving, investment and budgeting happens with everything else in their life - driving, socialising, holidays, lunches, clothes etc.

We have another at uni and another finishing secondary and I think (if we are financially able), that we would give them all a year or two grace to get really ahead with their saving pot, then perhaps expect some contribution. I can't imagine them being 28 and still living totally free, but it might well be in kind, e.g. shopping etc.

We also come from a culture where there is some expectation for them to look after us in old age, so it sort of swings in roundabouts. (We don't expect this).

Wow I don't know anyone who formed out £50 a time if their kid went out

And you don't even know if there was bus fares etc. Maybe like my college was in walking distance ( and I could walk straight from there to my p/t job)

Sounds perfect and love that you are putting some into an ISA for her

My utilty bills doubled once DS returned. And council tax was hiked 25%

So it's not always the case you'd be " paying that bill" anyway

Nothing of course! It’s totally bizarre to “charge” your own child money for living at home. Encourage them to put more into their savings - don’t charge “rent.”

I can get behind spare pennies going towards shoring up their future in a savings fund - that makes fiscal sense. But going into your pockets? No - they’re going to have it hard enough without their parents taking cash off them at such an early stage in life.

If you’re poor, on benefits and struggling to make ends meet then I’d charge a set amount. Otherwise, I’d let them save as much as possible whilst living at home to get on the property ladder, or rent and furnish their own place later on. I wouldn’t charge so I can add to my pension fund or make a profit as an earlier poster noted they would do. But as in all things, some parents/cultures are more aspirational for their DC (grammar schools, studying, buying own property) while others have lower standards/aspirations and are content to bumble along with minimum expectations for their DC in life. C’est la vie.

And what about parents who find it hard to be supporting another adult? Some people will lose £500/600 in child benefits a month and then have to pay more rent themselves. Should the young adult be living the life of Riley and the parent struggle?

I wonder how many of the people who don't charge their adult children anything are 100% sure they're heading for a comfortable retirement?

@berlinbaby2025

I want to make sure my children are fiscally sound - that surely is the priority. Me having a cushy retirement wouldn’t work in practice or in principle if my kids were struggling financially in any case.

given that 40% of the UK could not afford a £400 emergency I imagine they also can't afford to subsidise adult children if on just enough to be not on UC when finishing school you will lose child benefit £104 every 4 weeks and your 25% council tax discount if applicable on a average house the bill is over £200 a month so you are £50 worse off total £154 worse off immediately; if on minimum wage or just above you can't just cut expenditure to compensate
If you were actually on UC the cut will be much larger as there is an assumption that adults contribute even students living at home would be expected to contribute out of grant /loan according to UC calculations, they don't ask if 19 year olds working or studying contribute they just assume they do; so for the people on or just above the minimum wage themselves they simply could not afford to support adut children without something towards food and bills
Some people here just can't seem to comprehend that some families just can't afford to not have adult children contributing to bills

My 25 year old DS earns 50k, pays us £250 per month and has saved 110k. I don’t think I am cashing in.