Grammar vs independent

[ssj123]

We are navigating the 11plus journey with our daughter. We have offers from Wimbledon High, Putney High (w scholarship), Surbiton High (w scholarship), LEH (w scholarship) and Guildford High (w scholarship) and we are awaiting results from St Paul's Girls tomorrow. We have already turned down her Kingston Grammar 10plus spot. We are waiting for Tiffin Girls outcome in March but we will have only half a day once we know about Tiffins to decide on other options so we are trying to rule out choices as we go - we are not keen on SPGS, Putney High and LEH seem less appealing now than when we started, Surbiton High was a backup, Guildford High seems best at the moment. But also, we need to have a firm view on the tough choice of independent vs. Grammar. Can someone who had similar options on independent front but went grammar please walk me through their rationale and whether they were happy with the choice in the end? Are we being unreasonable considering grammar in the face of all these options? Thanks!

And in response to what the intense prep involves for Tiffin Girls, yes it is about speed and accuracy on Maths (the no of Qs on the papers can easily faze a child without adequate practice) but also creative writing and English prep requires quite a bit of depth wrt prep. In her practice papers for Tiffin Girls, some of the passages she did for comprehension felt almost GCSE level, TBH!

@ssj123Thanks for the information. It really helps. Now I understand. From discussions on other forums, I know that the ExamPapersPlus Tiffin mock papers are notoriously hard—much harder than the real Tiffin exam.

@ssj123 I’ve sent you a PM regarding private school scholarships. Hope you don't mind!

I am happy to share info on resources we used, for e.g. My daughter loved the weekly Test Teach lessons and their video explanations for their paper are great for deep dive on concepts etc

Where can I find 'weekly Test Teach lessons'?

https://testteach.co.uk/classes/

They also have an online resource if you cant make the weekly lessons

unlock opportunities for her for university that we would not otherwise consider (eg US universities).

Looking at TGS leavers’ destinations, US universities seem quite rare – I think there was only one to a top US university last year (Princeton)? Just curious about your plans. Have you thought about schools like SPGS/G&L/King’s for sixth form, as they seem to send quite a few students to top US universities? I’ve also heard US applications really value extracurriculars, so independents might have a bit of an edge there.

It's true that TGS does not have a track record of US placements, partly also explained by demographics, three things we have in mind:

1. We are likely considering private for 6th form and would aim for top tier schools at that time if academic track record allows
2. I applied from the developing world for undergraduate in the US myself to the likes of Harvard, Princeton etc, progressed to interviews at places like Princeton and ended up with a top uni offer - I figured it out myself with no parental guidance and my knowledge will now benefit my kids, I have done the whole gamut of SAT/SAT2/GRE/GMAT. I didn't end up going because I didn't end up getting the Scholarship I had hoped for (could not afford otherwise) and I had a full-ride scholarship at a regional top university. I have done two US exchange programs at top tier / Ivy League universities.
3. my husband did his grad program at a top US uni which is well known for "legacy" for alumni community, he is active in the alum circles. His brother lives in the US and both of his kids will go to college in the next 5 yrs

Between us, we feel we have enough first/second hand experience, much more than most US admission teams at top private schools. Appreciate we have a privilege here and this is not particularly helpful for other parents looking at TGS but it is important to have a view of the home environment and all it offers too before getting besotted with indie offerings, we felt.

Also we visited Boston and visited Harvard and MIT a couple of years ago, my then 9yr old now 11yr old rates MIT as her target school (7yrs more to change her mind haha) and v few private schools in the UK have a track record with MIT, while Kings Maths school (state) has definitely placed kids at MIT! A bit early for me to be worrying about uni placement potentially :) But TGS has a strong record of STEM placement at university.

Very ambitious mum and daughter—good luck! Just so you know, G&L had a student accepted to MIT for physics in 2025, and they do IB, which tends to work better for US applications than A-levels. We’re very laid-back about university choices ourselves—too old to move and we do want DD to live nearby—so we’re just sticking to UK unis.

Fantastic, thanks for sharing this nugget of info, filing for future reference :) after Brexit and unending doom and gloom of political/economic narrative in the UK, we are not sure where we will end up so we are trying to keep all options open...

Totally understand the UK concern—it’s hard not to feel that way with the current climate!

Coming back to the 11+ prep—your dd sounds so self-motivated! It’s clear you planned everything thoroughly, especially with all those specialist resources.
My dd isn’t quite there yet. She’s bright and intellectually curious, just not exactly 'driven and goal-oriented'... definitely more on the laid-back side (runs in the family, I guess!). I’ve been teaching her advanced and competition maths myself for years and she enjoys that, but I’m so protective of her creative spark that for Tiffin, I’m only doing the necessary DIY prep to avoid burnout. She still spends more time on free play than studying.
I feel lucky we have our current all-through school as a solid backup if things don't go to plan, so I’m willing to gamble a bit with this lighter touch. Please tell me if I am too far off!

I fear I may have falsely given the impression of a task driving mom and a ruthlessly driven child. We did focus on exam prep in the months leading up to the exams but I have an otherwise normal child who just happens to have her 'spike' in academics while other kids have their spikes in sport / music / dance etc. She has a strong streak of independence and cannot wait to be all grown up and move out and pay her own bills etc, which is what makes her so motivated :D She is in a prep school so all her friends have 11+ exams so it was not weird to be in 'study mode' for exams

I am also fully cognizant that while all of us parents fret endlessly about the ideal target school for our precious progeny, the education system is woefully out of date and does not prepare kids for the real world. For this reason, it is important to nurture a love for life long learning in our children - the entrance to good schools/unis is merely the entry ticket to bigger games ahead.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things with your DD - your 'light touch' seems to be pretty good already if you are covering off advanced / competitive maths at home. My husband and I work FT so we could not do extra work with her at home which is why we sent her to additional classes outside of school.

I have seen some parents go into taskmaster mode around 11+ season, and the kids become so accustomed to learning / doing tasks only to pass exams and please their parents...this is beating the point!

I completely agree on the 'entry ticket' analogy—it’s all about balancing real-world capability with the social filtering system we live in. Very well put.
And please don't get me wrong, I truly admire your dd’s independence! I wouldn’t mind at all if mine studied for hours straight, provided it came from her own drive. I think a lot of it comes down to timing and luck—maybe her 'moment' just hasn't arrived yet, so I am not in a hurry to force it.
Our dds are lucky as they have such thoughtful parents... It’s a bit of a balancing act for all of us, isn't it? I'm sure your dd will continue to thrive at Tiffin!