WWYD?

[Travelfairy]

DH was in London last week on business. We dont live in UK. Went MIA for almost 24 hours. Turns out he was drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into wirk 2 hours late. Its a new job, new boss seems a very heavy drinker and apparently was cool with this.

This week he is in Abu Dhabi and despite promising not to drink has been drinking (albeit lightly) but also not answering phone for hours at a time. He has 2 phones. Didn't answer either.

He is on Mounjaro, not supposed to be drinking on it at all afaik. Sick of him.

YABU - he's out there working hard networking not stuck to his phone
YANBU- he broke one promise what else has he broken. LTB.

Do you normally micromanage his every movement and amount of drink he has?

I mean, hes BU going awol for 24 hours but hes an adult and is allowed to drink. Think yous need to meet in the middle here

He is a grown adult.
He makes his choices

"drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into work 2 hours late" sounds more like being on a total bender and getting in a right state than networking and building a good reputation in a new job.

If DH were away I’d maybe expect him to check in once a day, no more than that. I wouldn’t be phoning regularly enough to know he didn’t answer the phone for a few hours. If he didn’t answer, I’d imagine he’s building relationships with colleagues. Why such a tight leash?

Sounds like you monitor him very closely. Do you have reasons for being like this - has he got form for infidelity, for example?

If not, he is an adult, leave him alone! Re the drinking, I agree drinking isn't great and don't do it myself BUT, if he does it away from you and his drinking doesn't impact on you in any way, his body, his choice.

How often do you expect him to call or text, out of interest?

And if you are actually considering leaving your husband because he got drunk on one work trip, and on another he has drunk lightly and not answered his phone for a few hours.....

Then yes, you probably should leave him. For his sake.

You can drink on mounjaro

You can drink on mounjaro. Might add to symptoms (nausea maybe) but it isnt against the law.

Why did he need to promise not to drink? He's an adult, why does he need your permission?I would expect that socializing would be important in some jobs and it's not like you were waiting at home for him so not sure why you're upset with him for being out late?

It sounds like the drinking is expected as part of the networking. It up to your H to judge what his limits are.

You sound very controlling. He is working and when networking its not 9-5.

If you cant cope with him not being constantly available maybe youre not so well suited.

He wasn't active on either phone or any social media for 24 hours, I was worried sick and no other way to contact him. I dont have time to check in regularly but more frequent than 24 hours

Sick of him?

He's made one small mistake!, YABVU

Sick of him?

He's made one small mistake!, YABVU

A bender is exactly the word!

Maybe just once on the evening as kids like to talk to him

Because we are paying 400 a month for WLI for him each month out of joint account that he was told by doctor not to drink on. He then went on the mother of all benders! Undoing all that work. Alcohol is very calorific

Obviously its not against the law 😂😂 he was told not to drink on it as hes on a high dose, lots of weight to lose. It made him very sick so the advice was obviously correct!

Leave him then, it’ll be mostly for his benefit anyway.

He couldn't possibly have drunk enough in 24 hours to undo months of weight loss, don't be ridiculous.

YABU

I agree with @Helplessandheartbroke in the 2nd reply.
There is a middle ground here.

I would think anyone going on a complete bender on a work trip to be an idiot - but I would also not be tracking my dh when he is away on a work trip.

I'm inferring from your posts you aren't very impressed with him all round.
Is this the straw breaking the camel's back ?
As, on it's own, YABU.

No, of course not but it made him really ill (self inflicted) and less than a week later out doing the same. He has only started on the medication and we have made alot of financial sacrifices to afford it for him.

He’s only started but on the highest dose. I smell porkie pies

Christ he clearly isn't trusted. So he has to clock in multiple times a day. Has a boss who likes a drink so went for a drink with him and got drunk... yeah that's what sometimes happens.

Then you make him promise not to drink?

You come across as very controlling.

If he's only started MJ then he won't be on a high dose. You're trying to make excuses for being controlling.