WWYD?

[Travelfairy]

DH was in London last week on business. We dont live in UK. Went MIA for almost 24 hours. Turns out he was drinking til 3.30am, doesn't usually drink, doesn't remember getting home and arrived into wirk 2 hours late. Its a new job, new boss seems a very heavy drinker and apparently was cool with this.

This week he is in Abu Dhabi and despite promising not to drink has been drinking (albeit lightly) but also not answering phone for hours at a time. He has 2 phones. Didn't answer either.

He is on Mounjaro, not supposed to be drinking on it at all afaik. Sick of him.

YABU - he's out there working hard networking not stuck to his phone
YANBU- he broke one promise what else has he broken. LTB.

You need to chill out.

He’s an adult and can go on a night out and drink if he wants to.

and he can drink on MJ

If he's been sick I don't think you can be worried about the fact that alcohol is very calorific. If that really is the reason why you're so annoyed at him?

He shouldn't really not respond for 24 hours. Just purely as you might get a bit worried. I'd expect just a quick good night at least. But he was having a drink, he didn't get in trouble with his boss. Nothing terrible happened.

Just tell him please just keep in communication but otherwise he's a grown man and should be allowed to do what he likes. He's not a raging alcoholic is he?

You are being batshit controlling. Stop it. You’ll drive him away. Or to even more drink!

Just make sure he updates his ICE in case of emergency on his phone.
You will hear soon enough if he hospitalised.
Leave him to his work trips
No news is good news

I think you need to loosen your expectations when he’s away on work trips. Drinking or sober, expecting him to check in with you and getting upset because he isn’t answering the phone for a catch up with you when he could be in meetings, networking, at a client dinner, just having a social drink with his boss etc is unreasonable. He’s an adult. Drinking too much might be a bad idea, but it’s his bad idea to have and make.

If it grates that he’s spending joint money on WLDs and you don’t think he’s committing himself properly to a healthy lifestyle then that’s a separate issue. Agree to separate your non-bills accounts and spending and he can do what he likes with his share.

Tbh OP I would also be a little worried if my DH was in a foreign country and I didn’t hear from him for 24 hours too. If me or DH goes away for the night we usually check in with each other in the morning and in the evening, either by call or txt.

The drinking thing wouldn’t bother me though, probably letting his hair down whilst away or trying to impress new boss/ colleagues.

Unless he has form for cheating/ridiculous behaviour I probably wouldn’t even notice.

This

Well he doesn’t sound great if I’m honest, but you saying you’re sick of him makes me think there is a back story. What’s he like normally? Is this all out of character?

He is not supposed to drink on MJ and he is on a high dose, he was previously on it but messed around like he is now ended up stopping and has restarted on a higher dose. Alcohol doesnt agree with him and he is on other meds to for prostate issues. He is not supposed to drink, end off bar maybe one beer/glass of wine. I am not being controlling. I worry about him. He was so sick last time he passed out in lobby of hotel. He promised me he wouldnt drink again for his sake. I am the idiot worrying about him. I get that. But he promised me not to worry this time as he 'would never be so stupid again'.

Thats good advice on the finances actually thank you

Exactly this, just a morning and evening text, I'm a texted not a caller at the best of times but kids sometimes want a quick video call. Our youngest has additional needs. Gets very upset when phone keeps ringing out.

Yeah there's been alot recently, selfish arsehole behaviour mainly. He has zero empathy. This is just one of many things.

Then don’t make it about this. You’ll lose the argument.