To let myself go grey

[sunshine244]

I hate hairdressers and always have done. I'm neurodivergent and can't stand the noise and the need for random chat. My hairdresser is lovely but I just find it awkward and a sensory nightmare. I've had the same issue every other hairdresser too. I have a similar loathing for the idea of going for a massage or getting my nails done (neither of which I've ever done).

I'm now mid 40s and the greys are starting to come through. Apart from issues with stray course hairs sticking up noticeably sometimes I don't really mind. I'd much rather have greys than deal with hairdresser more often or faff with home dying kits.

However there's only one other person I know my age or up to 60s that's not dying their hair and it does make them look much older. I also worry I'll not be seen as professional as although I work in the charitable sector everyone my age seems to dye their age.

Yabu - force myself to consider hair dye

Yanbu - go grey and ignore everyone elses opinion

I’ve found a keratin treatment helpful but I know what you mean, the colour seemed to kind of defrizz it.

You need the right blend of colours. I'm brunette but I put a dark blonde dye all over so the greys is lightened rather than darkened and it really softens the look.

I'm 50 and don't dye my hair. Haven't done for over a decade. I have a few grey hairs, but I don't think anyone notices to be fair (except my hairdresser) and come the summer when my hair goes golden in the sun, they will be even less noticeable.

I have a senior position at work and I don't understand your comment about grey hair being less professional. I have never in my life heard someone say anything along the lines of 'oh my gosh, have you seen Alice... Her grey hair just looks sooo unprofessional'. Surely grey hair would be more associated with age, wisdom and experience?

I'm 43 and have dark brown hair with a lot of grey, including a very large stripe. I don't dye it for the same reasons as you. In theory I might like to colour it but I can't bear the thought of the faff and hassle. One new thing I've experienced in the last year is male work acquaintances asking me directly what age I am. The only conclusion I can draw is that they like to know what age women are (probably something to do with placing them in the attractive/unattractive box) and are so unused to seeing women under the age of 60 with grey hair that they just can't figure out what age I am. My face definitely doesn't look 60. I had my kids fairly young so that also doesn't square with they expect age-wise. It drives them so nuts that in the end they just ask. It's an interesting insight into how men's minds work.

I'm mid 50s and my originally dark hair is its natural salt and pepper with some lighter streaks, @sunshine244 - I keep the beigeness away with Schwarzkopf purple shampoo which gives it a lovely sheen.

Some salons have a private room that is used for women with a variety of needs, whether religious, dealing with hair loss or whatever. I'm sure that a salon that has one would be happy to accommodate you if you mention that you can't cope with noise and chatter due to your disability.

Why not find a local Facebook page for ND individuals and ask if anyone knows a hairdresser who will deliver a less stressful experience, with a calmer quieter environment and little chat. As to going grey, it really depends whether or not it suits you, I know people who look awful grey, others who look wonderful. I colour my hair at home, takes me about an hour start to finish, only do it every 6-8 weeks.

Stopped colouring mine seven years ago. It is now silver and grey and in excellent condition. I love it.

I haven't been to the hairdressers for 40 years! I hate it and won't be paying to go somewhere I don't like. That won't be changing now I'm going grey. I couldn't care less tbh.