Why can't women be charged with rape?

[Ourlovelyson]

My son attempted to take his life last year. Turns out his partner has been abusive and she was drugging him with Viagra being him aroused and sitting on top of him he kept telling her no but she did what she wanted to do. But rape is defined by the penetrating male, my son is not the person he once was.
I have been on Google for weeks and I can't find anything to help him. He obviously isn't the only one.
Why is this?

Exactly. We all know rape means forced sex. Sexual assault could be groping breast etc which is horrible but not on the same level as forced sex.

Exactly

It's still sexual assault and she could be prosecuted.

You didn't do this. It's not your fault.

I got into a huge fight on MN recently when I said women could be rapists. Some people just don't understand. I believe you.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I really don't understand why people on here are often so keen on keeping that definition. Women being able to commit rape doesn't make men who do it any less bad.

I believe that the legal definition of rape is a man putting his penis inside another person against their consent.

So she would need to be charged with things SA, with spiking, if there was a drugging, if she put something inside him then assault by penetration. Or it could be classed as part of coercion.

It sounds horrible. But it would come under slightly different laws.

But rape itself can only take place if the perpetrator uses their penis. As far as I know.

With the greatest of respect, I don't understand why the wording matters.

Rape has a specific definition that's all. It means non-consensual penetration with a penis.

Both men and women can be raped. Women can also be sexually assaulted and not raped.

Your son was not raped, he was sexually assaulted. No-one is saying this is less serious, it is simply the correct language.

If your son had been kicked, it would be called kicked. Calling it punched would change the facts of what happened. But no-one is saying that it's less serious for him to be kicked than punched.

Just been on the phone to him. I am just telling him how proud we are of him as he is trying to get his own justice and no matter what we are here for him as we know he is truthful. He is so lovely and he has a huge beautiful personality. I just pray he gets justice

I hope your son gets FAR better justice than a woman would. And actually, there is evidence/research that shows women who commit crime are penalised more heavily than men who commit the “same” crime.

Rape literally means sexual assault with a penis.

The sexual assault charges without a penis can carry the same sentence.

If the wording is the issue, why not just call it rape between yourselves?

What exactly have you been looking for on Google for weeks?

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health-services/find-a-rape-and-sexual-assault-referral-centre/

If you are going to make something a crime with a specified maximum sentence, you have to define it somewhat more precisely than that. What definition are you proposing that would be legally robust and appropriate?

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents

Your son may find the helpline for men who have suffered domestic abuse (which includes sexual abuse) Respect helpful. They’re on tel:0808 8010327 0808 8010327

@Ourlovelyson Sorry this happened but your son has done the right - and difficult - thing by reporting. He might find this a helpful resource. https://www.survivorsuk.org/

What a nasty woman. Thank God he's rid of her.

He will. It’s just a word which you’re attaching emotions to. Sexual assault can carry the same sentence, however the wording for the specific offence of rape in the UK requires the perpetrator to have a penis.

Hi, this Is awful and he is not alone. He will be able to use the local rape crisis service for counselling as a victim of sexual violence. He should also be supported by ISVA. Independent Sexual Violence Advosir.
However as for getting justice , everything stated here is absolutely true that conviction rates are woeful.
Please have a look on the national rape crisis website and they’ll provide some support of him and you.

Your poor son.
Regardless of what the legal system ends up deciding, he has amazing parents who will support him and believe him.

I agree the definition needs to be changed but sexual assault can and has incurs Seth same sentence . I hope she serves time inside . I’m so sorry for your son , how old is he ? Is he getting help now ?

I’m sorry for your son.

Women can’t rape men, but he can get help for coercion SA.

So sorry this happened. It’s all to do with the legal definition of rape that it has to be done with a penis. Hope your son gets justice and his mental health improves x

Women can and have been charged with rape in certain circumstances, if they assist or encourage a rapist to commit the offence, this is the law in England and Wales.

Probably similar definitions to those used in many other jurisdictions?

E.g., rape being defined as sexual intercourse with someone who doesn't consent.

Most women who are sexually assaulted or raped don't get any justice at all, so I'm assuming you don't want him to get the same justice as a woman would.

I’m so sorry for your son, OP, and for you. This is a horrifying thing to do to anyone, as are all sexual offences. None of the below is meant to take away from that, but you asked a question about the law. So please don’t think that I’m being cold or unsympathetic to him, the opposite is the case.

The answer is, because this is a different act that she’s carried out towards him, so it’s a different offence. It’s still a very serious offence of sexual assault but it’s not rape.

Rape means penetration with a penis. So a man can be raped if he is penetrated by a penis (including orally).

There’s a separate offence of assault by penetration which carries the same penalties as rape but covers where anything other than a penis is used.

Your poor son has suffered a very serious sexual assault but it’s not one of the two above offences (rape or assault by penetration) because there’s been no penetration of his body.