To think there's no such thing as a "soft life"?

[TheBestThingthatAlmostHappened]

Working is hard- regardless of if you are slogging away in a minimum wage job and still struggling to make ends meet, or under pressure in a high-stress, high pay role.

Surviving off benefits is hard.

Living off a partner and the stress and judgement that comes with that is hard.

Even being born into money is hard if you believe the stories coming out of those families.

AIBU to think that the current generation of young women being told to seek a "soft life" are being lied to and no such thing exists?

What’s a soft life?

You could say life is hard.

No actually I think we go too far the other way. Life is a series of choices and luck, but everything I’ve seen about wanting a soft life is about knowing the choices you have and how they can effect the bigger picture.

So not settling for shitty behaviour from men who don’t pull their weight, understanding most jobs are hard work but it’s our choice what kind of hard work we want to sign up for, understanding we can walk away from people around us who are toxic and create drama and constantly put our own mental health at risk. I think these are all things we should be talking about MORE and not less. If we need to give it a cutesy name like ‘soft life’ let’s do it so the conversations can be had.

It's a "trend" on social media telling primarily girls but I suppose it could also apply to boys that they can have a "soft life", i.e. an easy life. Usually it's "marry a rich guy and spend your time making matcha smoothies and putting laundry powder in colour co-ordinated jars or making sourdough whilst your adorable blonde children quietly watch." But also "lazy girl" jobs, or the idea that living off benefits is a great life.

Living off a partner and the stress and judgement that comes with that is hard

I used to do this and it wasn't hard. It was absolutely fine and I didn't really feel judged and if I was, I couldn't care less 😂

Only if you are intent on being a victim through every angle of a prism.

Of course you can make life choices with outcomes that are easier than others.

Every trend on SM is bollocks. Just ignore it.

What a depressing idea. Marry for money and you'll earn every penny, more like- you're far more likely to enjoy life if you have purpose and agency than if you hook up with some bloke just because he's rich and have to spend the rest of your life lying back and thinking of England then drinking a matcha smoothie.

if you really think some people don’t have things more difficult then others then you are privileged or lack life experience.
I know several people who have things way way harder than me. I would definitely say I have an easier life in comparison.
Also life is up and down appreciate the times it’s going smoothly.

well i wish i had found a rich man to live off, dont think its a bad idea

Some people have it harder but in my experience life always involves a significant amount of effort. There's no shortcuts that you don't have to pay for.

A lot is to do with state of mind despite your objective circumstances.

I saw some bollocks on insta recebtly about living an analogue life. Is soft life the same parlance?

I can't imagine anything that would make me feel more trapped than knowing I'm completely dependent on a partner and could be left with nothing at any time.

I think life is hard generally because every decision you make, good or bad, catches up with you in the end.

Some people who live very pampered, comfortable insular lives, protected from harsh realities, can end up feeling physically unfit, mentally woolly, and unfulfilled.

And some people who have strived all out to earn, and consistently prioritised work above family, may not have close relationships.

Those are obviously very extreme examples. Most people aim for somewhere in the middle.

I think you do need a certain level of income to live comfortably and for life not to be a constant source of struggle and stress though. I think to suggest otherwise is insulting to people living below the poverty line and in constant fear of eviction or deciding between paying the heating bill or buying food.

But beyond that point; its swings and roundabouts.

Yabu to take any phrase invented by people who film themselves drinking matcha tea as a viable starting point for sensible discussion.

@Rosecoffeecup Oh God this is all over my feed, so many people saying they're stepping away from screens to pursue 'cute' hobbies like cross stitch and colouring not realising the irony of announcing that on social media!

I suspect the soft life bollocks is much the same, they'll all be banging on about something else next week. This rebranding of perfectly normal life choices really does my head in.

The whole “soft life” social media trend isn’t just about employment, it’s about the time you have outside of work and other obligations - it’s about making those parts of your life soft, like making your morning coffee, an afternoon snack, decorating your home, practicing mindfulness, taking some time to read, baking etc.

It’s people going back to analog ways - turning down the constant consumerism of modern trends and trying to enjoy the joy in little things, like physical media, hobbies that involve your hands, that sort of thing.

There are jobs which, if you’re good at and enjoy, may require time and effort but aren’t unduly stressful.

Why are you questioning a dumb trend on social media? I certainly have never heard of it. If there was a real change in our society then absolutely it's worth exploring but not something you heard an influencer say. Honestly i think the type of people who alter their behaviour because of a SM trend are so vacuous and stupid they probably don't contribute much to society anyway so I don't think it really matters what they do.

I'd suggest you start following the accounts of local food banks, pressure groups, homeless shelters, suicide prevention charities, MH support etc etc, so that your algorithm reorients itself away from total idiocy.

@NewYearNewMee Perhaps you're right but why can't they just get on and do it quietly?

Eh, while I wouldn’t describe my life as “soft” I feel incredibly lucky to be able to work part-time, running my own business that I love. DH is also part-time self-employed and earns well and we don’t struggle for money or for anything, really.

We both have health issues but overall we’re incredibly fortunate and neither of us feel overly pressured to work hard. We average around 25/30 hours a week each.

I'm more concerned about young people absorbing and believing this stuff. We've seen threads of parents despairing because their daughters have decided to give up on their futures so they can have an easy life, which they've been told is possible.

It's not about MY algorithm, it's about what teenage girls are absorbing and believing because they respect these people.