Choosing not to medicate 7yo with ADHD

[rehearseit]

My son is 7, has ADHD, and is currently not medicated. More and more people keep trying to push me towards medication. I have done a lot of research and agree that it must be life changing for some people. My reasons for not medicating are due to the fact that he does a high intensity sport that is his sole focus outside of school. He eats, sleeps and breathes it. He's obsessed with it, and it regulates him to no end. He does ok at school and whilst he struggles with focus, the only thing he is behind on is reading/phonics, but not majorly. He has great friends, is super social, yes he has big meltdowns, but things are a lot better since I have been implementing coping strategies.

Despite this, my family and a couple of friends keep ranting on about how I should 'try some meds'.

It's making me question myself and my choice.

I worry about the affect on appetite and growth, and also whether he really needs it.

AIBU to not medicate?

Does his behavior in school affect the rest of the pupils ?

I have adhd and don't think there should be any assumption towards medication.

Children are often being medicated rather than their lives being changed around them/ getting the support they need to just enjoy being who they are

When you have a ND child (my daughter is autistic) you will spend your life being given asdvice by people who don't know your child as well as you do. I would practice now ignoring them!

If he broke his leg playing his sport would you go get medical attention?!? If yes why not help him fix his brain that is working harder and at a higher stress level than it should.

I’m a teacher and the difference I see in kids who are adhd but do/don’t take medication is night and day.

Work with his drs to find a right level of medication…. Sport will be a now activity ; learning, employment and friendships are for life

My husband has never forgiven his parents for choosing to not medicate him as a child against medical guidance. It’s had a huge negative impact on many areas of his life that he can’t now get back.

I have ADHD and suspect my son has it but hes still quite little. I'm in the "dont medicate if you dont need to" camp. Im unmedicated, and structure my life so I can be happy and not forced to "conform" in every way. I'm less happy when I'm medicated and trying to keep up with everyone else. I have a successful career but reduced my hours and live quite a slow pace of life outside work.

If he's happy, and coping with school etc, I dont think medicating is necessary. You might reconsider at high school (if not before) when there's more of an academic push. It's completely individual though, you and your son will probably know better than an observer whether hes managing without medication. Having said that, medication at A Level/ uni would have been life changing for me. Keep an open mind and if he is struggling, I'd look into medication.

Just want to say that i couldve written this 18 months ago. I was so worried about medicating my daughter because of potential side effects.
Her school work was really suffering, I went to a parents evening where she had just been allowed to doodle in a book rather than actually complete any work. It was shocking. This pushed me into seeking proper medical advice and she's been on medication since the summer.
The difference is incredible and we have seen no negative side effects. She is completely herself, but without the side effects of ADHD that were making her life (and ours) miserable.
Go for it.
You can always test it out and if it doesnt work, take him off it.

ADHD is not comparable to a broken leg- that's actually quite offensive!

It's a neurotype - a way a brain works not an injury.

YABU. What's wrong with trialling it? Rather than just shutting it down completely? You may be his parent but he knows his brain best and what will work for him and what won't. As PP said, it's not just him you need to think about it's the others around him too. Does he disrupt the class etc?

no amount of 'coping mechanisms' will Improve a child's ADHD. Medication is a medical necessity to so many people with ADHD and in comparisons makes 'coping mechanisms' negligible. Meds help the ADHD and his brain directly. Coping mechanisms only sometimes aid the chain of events and reactions.

trial him the meds, it's not your health you're choosing not to medicate, It's your sons.

Medication made a life changing difference for my youngest. Her school performance improved a lot, along with holding the school to her IEP. It did affect her appetite, but I made sure she had healthy meals she liked and plenty of healthy snacks. I don't think she would have progressed as well as she has without medication.

It’s not the same thing.

I can’t say whether the OP should or shouldn’t but ADHD meds and a broken leg is not remotely comparable.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 7, only went on medication at 18. I wish to hell my parents mediated me before that. I could've done so much better at school.

i don't understand the people who say 'if my child doesn't need medication I won't medicate'

many many things don't need medicating. You don't need paracetamol for a headache. You don't need cough sweets for a cough. ADHD is a neurological medical condition and meds can and do change lives. Just take him off it if it doesn't work! I think you're doing him a bit of a disservice by not even trying it.

I’ve had DD2, who was burnt out by the end of secondary school, due to having to work 3x longer on her homework than her equally able friends. She was diagnosed at university with ADHD (inattentive type). She took methylphenidate for work - she said she could see the silly mistakes she used to make. It was wearing off by tea time, so I don’t think it affected her appetite particularly. Considering she ended up the 95 - 97th percentile for height for women, I don’t think an effect on growth would have been harmful.

I now see DGD, diagnosed with severe ADHD and autistic traits. The school didn’t make any comments to DS about her in class until he asked. I’ve read an ed psy report on what is going on for her in the classroom, and it’s quite clear from the school’s stupid comments, that they have no idea! If she is to get an education, medication would be a good idea.

People can try meds. If they are benefit, all well and good. If they don’t like them, they can just stop! I don’t want to see DGD end up with the mental health problems DD did, due to struggling through school undiagnosed and with no support.

It is … it is needing medical assistance and none of it is wrong - nothing wrong with ADHD -I have it- but I see day in day out what happens to kids that aren’t medicated and while op says only “a little behind in phonics “ at 7 that is big!!!

you may not think it’s the same but to me a parent choosing a sport over learning is not ok

It does not matter what your friends and family say. The only opinions that matter are yours, your child, their Dr and and their teacher.

If you can manage it effectively with strategies then great. But you are in for some big changes, around 8-10 children's brains go through a huge shift due to development and hormones, plus the education demands on them increase significantly. You may find that the strategies that work now, are no longer as effective in a year or 2 with these increased demands. So try to keep an open mind, and rather than saying no, maybe say 'not yet' or 'I will consider'.

Yes the sport helps him but he isn't do this every day, all day. He is in school and you have said he lacks focus. Being behind at reading/phonics at 7 is a lot bigger than you think it is. Reading is not just books, it is a large part of school work, the lessons on the whiteboard at the front of class, reading the question on a worksheet and the writing your child has do do. This covers all subjects, maths included when there are worded problems. Helping him focus in class would benefit him. You could try the medication and see what his teachers think.

I assume he also has some of these big meltdowns in school and they will be eating into his classroom time and the TA who has to assist him may then not be helping low ability children in the classroom as they are dealing with your son. This is just the reality of the school environment. I am just trying to show you the other side of education as you are not in school every day.

Medication might be life changing for him or it might not. Right now you just have the evidence of how he is unmedicated. You don't know what he would be like medicated.

I don't think kids, unless they really need to, should be medicated.

But we are in a 'medicate it' society sponsored by big Pharma. All the mums are on anti-depressants and all the kids on adhd drugs.. if you're fat and lazy... well we have a drug for that too!

As long as everyone takes their meds no one questions why everyone is ND, fat, depressed... etc etc we will all be fine.

Things may well change as he gets older. I wouldn’t shut the door to it and request they review yearly.

To those saying they have ADHD and wish they were medicated, I also have ADHD and am glad I wasn't medicated, we are all different. I still went to uni, got a degree, and have a decent job, am happy etc. There is no right or wrong, surely?

He gets on fine at school. He's not disruptive to his peers, and his behaviour has improved ten fold since implementing routines and a hell of a lot of research/learning.

It really isn't the same as a broken leg. When you break your leg, you put a cast on it, wait for it to heal, and that's that. With ADHD it's totally different. You're treating a whole person. I feel I've already seen such a difference with implementing exercise, a healthy diet, good routines, structural changes at home etc. He's thriving at school but just struggles with emotional regulation, which is also improving.

I also worry about the impact it could have on his sleep and eating as he is very, very slim and lean, and massively struggles with sleep (wakes up extremely early and struggles to drop off unless I read to him until he falls asleep).

I guess I just don't feel it's necessary right now.

Never, ever has meltdowns at school. Only when he's with me/family members/people he totally trusts. Have been advised by his diagnoser that this is extremely common.

He gets on really well at school. He has his own desk, fidget toys, etc and this has made the world of difference. School have no concerns and are just getting him up to speed with phonics. He got above average on all of the year 2 tests they do (I think they do these across the country?) and above average for maths (which he loves) it's just the reading he struggles with.

Not that I've ever been told.

YABU for not trying. You can always stop if you feel it’s having a negative impact. It is also already having an impact, being behind on reading and phonics is quite fundamental.

We did medicate our son, for about a year - and then stopped.

Regardless of what dose he was on, it stripped away his personality, and destroyed his appetite.

I’m also a firm believer that not all adjustments actually help resolve the issue we’re facing at that time, they just get rid of the problem - which isn’t the same thing.

I would rather teach our son emotional regulation, than medicate them away. I’d rather teach him to behave sensibly in a car than put him in a harness. I’d rather manage his behaviour than give him drugs that get rid of it.

I just feel that in some cases, adjusting for something does absolutely nothing to actually develop the child’s ability to manage it without adjustment.

@rehearseitif you've made your mind up then you've made your mind up. Why are you against trialling it for a few months or even less than that? You may not be aware of how much he does need it until that point as you just dont know.

imagine if he took it for a few days and he felt so much better for it, does that trump not 'needing' it right now?

I think a trial a good middle ground for him and you to make a decision.

I mean this in the kindest way possible (genuinely), but it's people who 'have' ADHD, not people who 'are' ADHD. Sorry, it's just a bug bear!

I agree re the phonics too