Neighbour damaged his car on my drive

[lghtnght]

I moved into my new house 3 months ago and after a few weeks, I noticed that the neighbours across the street were reversing onto my property when they left their house. The road is pretty narrow, so they can't really turn around without reversing onto my drive. Plus, another neighbour parks his car (in blue) on the pavement by their house, which makes it harder for them to pull forward and turn around.

It would be much easier if they just reversed onto their own drive and drove out from there. I don't know why they haven't done that yet. I didn't want to start any drama or fall out with them. I had never talked to them before today and wasn't sure how they'd react if I brought it up, so last weekend I decided to put some garden rocks in the corner instead. Just to clarify, they're on my drive, not on the pavement, in case anyone wonders. So, the neighbour knocked on my door earlier and said that his car got damaged because of the rocks. He insists that they were half on the pavement (not true) and half on my drive.

He asked why I didn't tell him I was putting them there so he could avoid driving over them. He said if there was a problem, I should have just talked to him. I told him it's my drive, on my property. Why would I need to inform him? His car wouldn't have been damaged if he wasn't using my drive… He got really aggressive with me, saying that the previous owners never had any issues and that he's going to call the police and a solicitor about the damage to his car. I haven’t heard anything since. I can't believe I'm even writing this. I’m not sure what to do now! I do feel a bit intimidated by him. Am I being unreasonable?

He won’t have a leg to stand on.

Even if the rocks were on the pavement (I know they weren’t) he’s not supposed to be driving on the pavement.

Parking on the pavement so pedestrians can't pass...

Years ago, I dug up the gravel on half of my drive and extended my front lawn. We didn't need such a large, 2 car driveway.

In theory, my neighbour could have driven onto and damaged my lawn. They could have argued that it wasn't neighbourly of me to do this to my drive, because it inconvenienced them. Which would have been bullshit, because it was my drive/garden.

What if OP had put a fence up? Would she have been wrong? Added some flowers in a planter?

Ultimately, we do what we want with our own homes. And we delineate the boundaries of our property too. It is pretty much standard.

I mean it would all have been easier if you'd just strolled over and sked nicely the first time you saw him using your drive if it was going to bother you that much (don't get it myself - just wouldn't even be on my radar). However, now it's happened I really wouldn't worry about it. If he comes over again just tell him -

"someone was using my drive so I put the rocks there to deter. How was I supposed to know it was you or that they would drive over said rocks."

Nothing more to be said but for the sake of good neighbourly relations I'd be nice about it and offer sympathy at the damage if not an apology.

Oh yes! That really makes my blood boil! And it always seems to be gigantic 4 wheel drives. They don't think about the visually impaired, or people in wheelchairs, or pushing babies in prams etc. And the danger for those people.

It would all have been so much easier if the twat opposite had strolled over and asked if he could use @lghtnght‘s drive to manoeuvre his car.

The onus is on the twat to ask nicely.

I think it’s you that needs to get a grip. Who are you to tell the OP what she should or shouldn’t put on HER property

Exactly

We live at the end of a dead end and all delivery drivers and a great number of other drivers turn around on our property. It is unbelievably annoying : I’m always thinking someone is turning up, if the dog is out for a wee it’s in danger of being run over and the larger vehicles destroy our verges. People have no idea how irritating it is. We spent £5k putting up electric gates and people still do it.

My partner said the same when I talked about this thread last night. A woman going over to talk about a parking/reversing issue with a bloke she didn’t know is different is another man doing it. I’m pretty confrontational so i would knock on the door knowing it would probably end with a row but i completely understand why a less confrontational female would avoid that.

You are both the assholes.

He should learn how to reverse onto his drive. You should have warned him that you were going to put rocks on your drive.

Of course it's your right to not let him use your drive if it bothers you. But you know he regularly does, and that putting rocks there would likely damage his car. So it was a shitty thing to do without giving him a heads up.

Not very neighbourly behaviour from either of you.

👸🏼 🙌🏻

I just want to clear up a few things because I feel like my words have been misinterpreted.

I never claimed to be scared of him before our encounter yesterday. What I said was that I didn’t know him or how he might react if I asked him to stop, which is true. Sure, he could have been fine about it, or he could have been a complete dick. Imo, someone who thinks they can use another person’s property without permission (especially without even acknowledging the person first - remember, he was a stranger to me) is pretty bold and not usually the kind of person who would just accept a no and move on. Of course, I could be mistaken and he might have just said okay, who knows, but that’s how I felt at the time, and that’s why I didn’t talk to him about it. I felt intimidated by him yesterday when he showed up at my house, shouting and threatening to call the police and sue me. As a single woman, having a random man at my door threatening me with legal action was intimidating.

Secondly, I didn’t put the rocks out there to damage his car. I really don’t know why people keep saying that. I put them there to prevent him from using my driveway. I thought he would see them and get the hint that I didn’t want others using my property. I didn’t expect him to drive over them. Clearly, he did and ended up damaging his car in the process. Whether the rocks are visible enough is debatable (I think they are visible, but others disagree, which is fair) but that’s the reason I put them there, not to set a booby trap or whatever! This isn’t home alone!

Should he even be driving if he can't see a bloody rock?

Well that approach worked out well, didn't it? Your neighbours will now know not to mess with you. Congratulations, you definitely got him to stay off your drive.

I'm surprised people are criticising you OP. If he didn't see the rocks that his issue. It's your drive and if you don't want it used as a turning point that's fair. You don't owe him a warning about something that he should see for himself. He's not a 3 year old, although the temper tantrum afterwards suggests a similar level of development. You are not unreasonable, and he's a dick.

I have no interest in having a relationship with someone who makes unfounded accusations and threats (the neighbour).
I wouldn't have gone down the rocks route myself but the neighbour has shown themselves up to be someone to avoid.
She could have let him continue to turn there, as it seems so many on mumsnet would have and none of this would have happened but she was not wrong to make any changes to her own property.

Also (I should have made it clearer in the OP) but he didn’t know at first that I had put the rocks there to stop him. It wasn’t until he came over to my house and started shouting at me for not telling him about said rocks that I said his car wouldn’t have been damaged if he hadn’t been using my drive without my permission (my fault for admitting that, but in the heat of the moment). So, like another poster pointed out earlier, it’s possible that I had just put them there as a decorative piece / because I liked them / whatever, and had no idea he was using my drive! Am I supposed to inform all my neighbours that I've put something on my drive just in case they want to use it then?

OP, you've created hostility with your neighbours where you didn't have to.

Yes, it's your drive, your rocks, your right to do whatever you want. But if you had just been a bit less of a wimp, you could have done this in a way that didn't start a neighbourhood feud.

It is really childish to not be able to have a conversation with another adult. No, you don't know how he might have reacted to a civil conversation. But you escalated things massively just to avoid some potentially awkwardness.

Yeah, I guess it did.

I’ve not heard anything since. The rocks are still there 😆

But you did know. And the reason you put the rocks there was to stop him from using your drive. Which does make you an asshole. Even though he is obviously also one.

My point was that if he hadn’t used my drive without consent initially, his car wouldn’t have been damaged.

No, the entitled twat has caused the hostility.

No one is saying he's painted himself in a perfect light here, threatening you with the police was ridiculous. However, I do still think you could have handled it in a much better way. My neighbour has to bring his bin out across my driveway unless he moves his car, of course I could insist he moves his car on to the street every time but why on earth would I do that?