Ds special school hot girl in self defence

[isiteverokay]

I’ve just given my ds11 a bollocking for hitting a girl in the face in self defence, he said she kicked him so it was self defence but she’s a girl, so I don’t think it’s an excuse. They’re both in a special school and ds is autistic so sees things very black and white, and I’m assuming the girls is the same. Not heard off the teacher about it.

Hit not hot in title

Presumably neither kicking not hitting are classed as acceptable in this self defence lesson? In which case they should both be disciplined.

If it's a martial arts type thing, like karate or something, then I guess there are certain moves kids can do to eachother if they fight mixed sex? But it's not meant to hurt or injure.
Assuming they class them by weight if not sex?

But it's good you taught him that hitting/hurting women is never acceptable.

Sorry it’s not any lesson lol it was break time

I wouldn't have a problem with that

Oh it gets worse, she’s in year 4 🤦‍♀️

Interesting that this is posted a day after the post about the 12 year old boy deliberately sh-ing and blaming a 10 year old within a wrestling(?) class.
Must be something in the air...

He is BU. But they are both in the wrong. No hitting or kicking should be tolerated, and if someone hurts him like this he needs to go and find an adult for assistance.

As he has black and white thinking - it is possible to defend oneself without actually hurting the other person. Perhaps some self defence or martial arts classes might help him to learn this.

Your final sentence implies that hitting a man is acceptable in some circumstances!

I once saw a girl kick a similar sized boy between the legs, he slapped her and everyone was sympathetic to her when in fact she got what she deserved.

The sex of the person is irrelevant to an actual self defence situation, but if she had already kicked him when he hit her, then that's not self defence, it's retaliation. Self defence aims to stop the attack happening.

I kind of think it is. In an emergency. If he was attacking me/rob/trying to SA/to beat me up. And it was the only way I could get distance enough to leg it. Though I'd much rather just be able to run away from any physical confrontation as I wouldn't want to be hit or hurt at all.

Whether it’s self defence or retaliation I don’t know but I am pissed off as I’m trying so hard to raise him correctly, this manosphere stuff is concerning

So she's an 8 year old girl and he's 11? I mean that's not great.

None of us were there to see why she kicked him, how hard she kicked him or how hard he hit her in the face. But, taking gender out of it, hitting someone in the face for kicking a leg doesn't sound like self-defense to be honest. It is a rather extreme reaction. But it doesn't sound like the girl was bothered if nothing has been said about it.

But it's good you taught him that hitting/hurting women is never acceptable

We're not talking about a man and a woman here. We're talking about two children of the same age, who at that age are likely to be of a similar size and strength.

She kicked him. To be honest, I think clouting her back was pretty reasonable and I don't think the fact that he's a boy and she's a girl makes a difference here. It's not as if he's a grown man with a big strength advantage over her, and it's not like being kicked by a girl is somehow less painful or dangerous than being kicked by a boy.

I am absolutely not someone with a high level of tolerance for VAW. I'm a survivor of severe domestic violence at the hands of a former partner. But what the OP is describing is not VAW; it's a pair of young kids having a playground scrap.

EDIT: Just seen the edit that she's younger than him, not the same age. I still don't think it makes any difference that she's a girl. If the school haven't said anything, he probably just lashed out and slapped her to get rid of her, as I'm sure they'd have said something if she'd actually been hurt. It honestly sounds like a routine playground scuffle.

Do you have other reasons to suspect that he’s into the “manosphere” stuff? Or is he just a kid who didn’t think about her sex when she hurt him? Obviously he shouldn’t have hit her in any case (and despite the usual chorus of handmaidens bleating to the contrary, a man hitting a woman IS more serious, because there is an inherent power imbalance both physically and socially) but my response would depend on exactly what happened and his attitude to it.

teacher has been in touch since, the punch marked so it was hard

He retaliated, he didn’t defend himself.

You heard from the teacher in the 30 minutes since you made your first post?

How convenient.

Deliberately WHAT?

Calling other women 'handmaidens' for disagreeing with you is misogynistic.

Yes, it is absolutely more serious when a man hits a woman. But this isn't a man and a woman. It's two children. It's not the same. Boys and girls don't differ in size and strength when they're pre-puberty.

No, calling a woman a handmaiden for centring men isn’t misogynistic. It’s insulting, but it’s not misogynistic.

At 11yo, hitting a female Y4, the gender-based power differential is already a factor. Boys of this age should be made aware of this.

It's having your head up your own arse is what it is 🤣

"I am so good and right that the only possible reason for someone to disagree is that they must be simpering, bleating handmaidens!"

Perhaps talk to him about appropriate levels of retaliation in a logical way so you can make it make sense for him rather than "don't hit girls it's bad" which yes is true but it's different as he's at school. And it is hard to regulate own strength unless you practice

So a pushing away rather than punching for something like a kick, especially from someone younger/physically weaker than him. Can roleplay pushing levels and how much force to use and when you'd need to do it harder. For example self defense to run away etc or someone hitting harder

And for something minor but annoying, perhaps verbal teasing or someone getting aggy or jostling him around roleplay a loud voice and a hand out in front of him, creating space "STOP."

Self harming, I think. But I first thought what you probably did...

Erm yes ? Do you want to see the screenshots ? We use class dojo

Self defence is usually about using reasonable force to prevent an attack, not hitting the other person after they kicked you.