Poo.

[violentviolet]

Apologies for slight tmi here. A couple of days ago my dp had just got in the bath, when I realised I needed the toilet quite urgently and I couldn't last the 90 mins my partner is usually in the bath for. So I knocked on the door and apologised profusely but said "look, I really have to go, I'm sorry, bad timing"

So he says "it's ok, don't worry, it happens" etc. All goes quiet. After 30 seconds or so I say "um, I really do have to go quite urgently" and he says "well, go on then. I'm not getting out fo the bath though"

I was appalled. I'm not prudish or poo-phobic at all, and okay, I've given birth in front of this man but I really feel that some things are private and this is one of them! Plus the toilet is RIGHT next to the bath. He suggested I pull the shower curtain across and get on with it. I can't even go if he's outside the bathroom door ironing ffs! Anyway so I shouted and he slammed out of the bathroom in a huff.

But it's been playing on my mind for a couple of days since, and I don't know if it's him being lazy/unreasonable or if I'm just being uptight and most other couples do that? I haven't been able to face sex since either for some reason, it's put me right off.

I won't poo or pee in front of mine. and he doesn't in front of me. I get out of the bath if he's caught short, and he does the same for me.

The most unreasonable thing about your DP's behaviour is that he spends 90 minutes in the bath . 10 minutes is plenty. Does he do his fair share of chores?

Pooing in front of anyone else is for babies and small children only.

Anna what is so unreasonable about spending 90 minutes in the bath? My DH loves having a bath and can quite happily spend 1-2 hours in there durng the evening, reading his book and topping up the hot water.

How can you compare time spent in the bath with doing a share of the chores?

YANBU.
Toilet stuff does not need to be shared

YABU if you did not actually say to him, look I really have to sh*t, and I'd rather not do it in front you,..... and he lay there anyway.

He's does not have a hang up about it. You do. Not his fault he's a little more laid back about it.

Like I'll be brushing my teeth and DH will walk in and start peeing- just not very pleasant to hear when brushing your teeth IMO, so I'll walk out the bathroom making loud 'ugh, eew gross' 'must you do that right this second?' noises.....

You seem to have more of the problem here if it has been playing on your mind for a couple of days!

lol Anna8888- don't ask! A long soak in the bath cheers him up and we have precious few things to look forward to right now so I let him do what he wants.

Oh we do pee in front of each other but we don't make a big song and dance out of it.

bergentulip, the weird thing is, he always claims to be totally poo-phobic, not me (I don't give a er....shit) I totally stressed before I went in labour in case I pooed during delivery with him there, so much so I actually asked him not to be there once as I thought he'd never fancy me again if he saw me poo, and not once did he reassure me to the contrary. So this came as somewhat as a surprise!

Well, that would be messy, wouldn't it?

...the song and dance, I mean.

or possibly just the dance. The song might be odd, though.

arf arf

No problem in this house.

That is odd...... well, in that case, I'm stumped....

What a funny conversation to be having on a Sunday afternoon :0

TBH I think YABU we lived in house for 6 years were the 1 bathroom was tiny and the toliet was so close to the bath it touched it. We didn't really have a choice about pooing in front of each other as theres 5 of us and when you gotta go you gotta go right. I wouldn't have expected him to get out of the bath.

We don't have that problem anymore though, we've just moved and our new house has 3 bathrooms.

YANBU.

I would expect him to get out of the bath, I wouldn't care to do that in front of anyone, particuarly not my partner.

OT But I love to get in and out of the bath a few times,while having one as it seems so much cosier and warmer when you climb back in.

I'm weird I know

Threaten to do it in the bath with him in it next time........that will make him move

I wee in front of dp all the time (in fact we follow each other to the bathroom if we're in the middle of talking) but poo is prob a bit far.

14 years of marriage and nothing phases either of us.

90 minutes? doesn't the water just go freezing?

no you just need ot make sure it is a really smelly one with lot of sound effectes and then SHUT the bath room door on your way out lolol

YABU. He would have been the one to be affected by it and he told you he wasn't bothered.

Expat - DH just keeps topping it up!

I don't really like having a bath, the idea of lying in a warm soup of skin flakes and dirt doesn't really appeal

But I am very glad after reading this thread that we have a separate loo and bathroom.

Oh God I think it's totally normal to poo in front of eachother. Am I on my own with this then?? Surely if you can have sex with this man, give birth in front of him (which lets face it is far mor horrific than having a poo) then it shouldn't be a problem. There's nothing I won't do in front of my dh and he's the same with me. I think it's just a natural thing to do so why would it bother anyone? I'd hate to think that there was something I couldn't do in front of him, would be very awkward imo.