Would you let your 14yo go to Manchester city centre after dark?

[Pigeonmama]

I don't know if IABU or not.

He wants to go to town with his mates to hang out which I have no problem with. I ask what time and he says after 4. Its still getting dark around 4.30.

I don't know if you have been to MCC recently but its not the nicest place, I'm a grown woman and don't feel safe there around Piccadilly when its dark.

I say he can go now. In the day, I will give him money for lunch and shopping etc..

He says no, they only want to go when its dark cause its boring in the day??

He's only been to town a couple of times with his mates, he's in the process of an autism assessment and to be frank hes a bit daft sometimes. He's definitely not a street savvy child.

Now he is annoyed with me because I say he has to go in the day or if they want to go out after 4 it has to be around our local area, not town.

AIBU?

I feel like saying he can go now is fair?

No. Because what is he going to do apart from hang around and cause trouble? He’s too young to drink so there’s nothing for him to do. There’s loads of gangs of teens hanging around causing issues.

I voted YANBU because of recent attacks on Jewish Community.

absolutely not. He cant get in anywhere so will just be hanging around on the streets which is the most dangerous place to be.

What does he imagine there is to do in town when it's dark that's so much more interesting than when it's not?

If I knew they were just going to walk around inside the Arndale, go into a few shops, get some food/drinks then maybe. If I thought for one second they were going to hang around Piccadilly, definitely not!

At 14 mine were going out and about after dark but not just hanging about, they went to specific places. If out after 9pm I asked more questions.

No there is no reason for him to be there in the dark, what are they planning to do? I would be firm in this, he can go after lunch and home by 6pm. Even my 17 year old doesn’t “hang around” in town. If he goes out in the dark it’s for a specific activity, eg last week they all went out for pizza.

No, I wouldn’t allow this.

Another vote for no. I feel perfectly safe in Manchester at any time but I am mindful of where I am and avoid certain areas, Piccadilly being one of them. If it’s too boring during the day then he doesn’t go. Simple.

Is the op’s son Jewish? There was a comment about Jewish attacks.

No.

Thisnis my train of thought. If they are in the arndale then what difference does the time make and whether its dark or not??

If it’s boring during daylight hours I’d be concerned about what’s happening at night to make it more exciting, given that he’s 14 and the usual entertainment avenues are out of bounds to him.
A definite no.

No. I would say fine to leave town as it’s getting dark eg 4.30/5pm, but not to start the trip into town at that time.

Nope. My youngest is almost 16 and she isn't allowed to be in our local city centre after dark.

I just asked him what his plan is and its to just hang around market street/picadilly. Not go in the arndale.

I offered to buy him and a few friends cinema tickets so they have something to actually do and he said no.

So i just said he can't go

I feel bad as he is feeling really down at the minute and I want him to socialise, but safely!

Oh god - definitely a big fat no from me in that case!

Hard no in that case!

YANBU OP.

You are right to say no, especially if he isn’t street smart. A lovely gesture for you to offer buying cinema tickets.

He couldn't even go, every film is a 15 or a small kids film :(

I was out playing in the street from 9/10 and then going shopping in town. But as a teenager my parents didn't let me do the hanging around thing precisely because teenager hanging around with nothing to do tend to get into/cause others trouble.

Hard no. If they aren't going into shops, cafés, restaurants or cinemas they don't need to be there. It'd be different at a skate park or something.

I visit Manchester a couple of times a year at least.

I agree with PP. I would be happy for a group of 14 yo boys to walk from Piccadilly to the Arndale Centre or a nearby cinema, and getting a meal. Hanging out near Piccadilly Gardens after dark - no way.

Keep your standards OP. It’s about keeping him and others safe. Hanging around in the dark in a dangerous environment with no objective is risky and it’s right you’ve said no.

Definitely not. Piccadilly is rough. I was on holiday there last year and didn't feel very safe.... having a dodge people fighting. Stick to your guns op

Absolutely not, and i’m a fairly relaxed parent (no strict rules, no tracking etc).