Would you let your 14yo go to Manchester city centre after dark?

[Pigeonmama]

I don't know if IABU or not.

He wants to go to town with his mates to hang out which I have no problem with. I ask what time and he says after 4. Its still getting dark around 4.30.

I don't know if you have been to MCC recently but its not the nicest place, I'm a grown woman and don't feel safe there around Piccadilly when its dark.

I say he can go now. In the day, I will give him money for lunch and shopping etc..

He says no, they only want to go when its dark cause its boring in the day??

He's only been to town a couple of times with his mates, he's in the process of an autism assessment and to be frank hes a bit daft sometimes. He's definitely not a street savvy child.

Now he is annoyed with me because I say he has to go in the day or if they want to go out after 4 it has to be around our local area, not town.

AIBU?

I feel like saying he can go now is fair?

To be home at what time?

If 4.30 to 7.30, I would have no problem.

‘The Dark’ isn’t essentially a problem.

Nah. I work in the city centre and go through Piccadilly Gardens every day. I wouldn't want my son hanging out there. It is a known spot for child criminal exploitation as well as pickpocketing and drug dealing. Yes there are often police patrolling. A group of lads hanging about are likely to draw attention especially if they're not streetwise and it's not their usual spot.

5pm in the City Centre .. it will be packed, full of people, and will stay vibrant until the brs close.

Thousands of people go to the City every day, and thousands make it through unscathed.

There are undesirables, as there are in every city .. but I’ve never had a problem avoiding them.

Not a bloody chance would I allow my son to do that.

Piccadilly gardens is an absolute cess pit of drugs, dealers, pimps, pickpockets, drunks and people out to exploit young kids. Kids scrapping outside Maccies. Add into the mix, all the idiots who call them selves journalists/influencers who basically wander round with their cameras winding people up, until they get a reaction.

I work in Manchester and avoid Piccadilly Gardens.

If I go into Town for a night out, again I avoid that area.

I have a 20 year old, who is also sensible enough to stay away from Piccadilly Gardens and the top of Market Street.

Big difference between walking through, and hanging around on the streets looking for something exciting to happen!

I would say he could go for food or an activity such as cinema or laxer tag afternoon towards the evening and pick him up after or they come straight home. (Latest pick up from dangerous city centre at 14 would be 7 pm for me) Hanging around the street is absolute no. He’s potentially a vulnerable child due to age and possible diagnosis that hinders social ques and understanding of situations so I don’t feel he would be safe.
His friends can also not take responsibility for him or be trusted to do so they could fall out or leave him somewhere or run of if a situation warrants it, but quite simply they are also children who could lack understanding in a violent or predatory situation and should not be expected to look after someone else. Just say no and invite group to yours offer to buy them all pizza

Not a prayer! 🤣 Been in Manchester for nearly 30 years and no-one goes to Piccadilly unless they are a troublemaker or a druggie!

Could he meet friends at the Trafford Centre on an evening instead? Much safer, you can be there if necessary, do your own shopping etc?

No way. I like to get out of there before it goes dark. It feels foreboding at night.

What about booking them a bowling lane (although££)? They can get a snack in there. Or a five a side footy pitch? Better for them to be doing an activity at this age.

I’m local to Manchester and i’ve met very vulnerable teens that have been groomed/exploited or attacked/fights around that area. It’s not somewhere safe to ‘hang out’.

I say this as feeling fine in most parts of the the city even in an evening walking to and from places and i’ve been going since a teen.

Some groups of teens find activities like bowling or shopping what’s been suggested as cringy etc ( or maybe expensive too) and just want to ‘hang out’ but that’s not the place and certainly not in an evening

What does your ds think is less boring about Piccadilly Gardens in the dark compared to the day?
The fact that he turns down your offer of cinema and food in reputable places speaks volumes.
After the workers have gone home some very dubious characters emerge in that area.
What does your son find exciting about them?
A reminder that at 14 years old he is still a child, classed as vulnerable and therefore not guaranteed to make the best decisions. As previous posters have said, he wants to go to an area often frequented by the type of people who may target him.
Stick to your guns on this one and keep an eye on the " friends" who want him to go there

Good advice from @CurlyKoalie about scrutinising these "friends", I'd be checking if they are genuine decent kids or are they trying to lead him into trouble?

He is going bowling with his big bro instead.

I'm just putting a blanket rule of no town after dark, until at least 16 then we will review.

I would feel better about the Trafford centre.

He's a really good kid, I'm not worried about him causing trouble but people trying to start trouble with him IYKWIM?

I'm just putting my foot down

I wasn't allowed in Manchester after dark at 14 and it was a hell of a lot safer back then.

Manchester’s getting shit at night - so many people just hanging around not really doing anything identifiable and I don’t believe for a second they’re enjoying European street cafe culture. They’re looking for anyone vulnerable that can be exploited. Glad your ds found an alternative activity 😊

Well done for sticking to your guns. It’s so hard. Ds had silly ideas at that age and as he has matured he realises how silly they were. Now he’s 18 and I don’t think he’d be happy hanging out in Piccadilly Gardens.

I’m in London but visit monthly and have to walk through Piccadilly gardens to to my office. It’s awful. My twins are 14 and need to be home before dark or at a friends house. Hanging around town is not an option.

Good call. 4:30 is the time to be coming home in the winter at that age as it gets dark and the actual places he wants to hang round are full of idiots and drugs. In the day there’s more people and I’d be fine with a trip that does something like the film you suggested.

What is there for 14 year old to do in Manchester city centre after dark?

You did absolutely the right thing OP. You gave options rather than say no outright. Always trust your gut on these things

And yes it’s other people/ kids you need to worry about. I wonder if his friends parents know of their plans

I wouldn’t encourage my (imaginary) 14 year old to hang around anywhere. You did the right thing. I’ll be doing the same when mine get to that age.

Absolutely not. He’ll either be the target of unsavoury behaviour or a contributor to it.

Not that is makes a difference to my decision (it's a big, fat no here!) but is he an older Y9 child or is he in Y10?

I think it's good that he was honest with you and didn't make up any pretence which is what I was doing at that age
Keep that communication open.

I'm a Londoner and there is no way any of my kids are ever going to be allowed to just roam. It's not yet on the cards (eldest is 13 but doesn't have much of a social life - he has a few mates and the still mainly just hang out at each others houses). We're lucky to be quite central and have a lot on our doorstep so fingers crossed we'll be able to steer them in a positive direction.