Would this irk you?

[Emmi1995]

…If your partner asked what you wanted for your upcoming birthday and you said a certain puzzle book which is £11 brand new and they bought you a second hand one instead (not filled out) and you also mentioned a nice notebook which is around £20 brand new but they bought you a £7 one instead which is nothing like the one you originally picked out and has the wrong kind of binding (which you did mention when picking out the original notebook) when they have thousands of pounds sitting in the bank? They don’t regularly pay for things or buy you things ‘just because’, only for special occasions and you only usually request one or two things for these special occasions.

Would this irk you?

It wouldn't irk me. It would make me very angry.

It is stinginess, environmental concerns, being a selfish arse or a mixture?

Yes. But I'd make the point of leaving the unwanted items somewhere visible and just go out and buy the items I'd asked for. I'd not make a fuss but I would get the items I wanted, not make do with the ones I received.

A mixture of stinginess and being a selfish arse I think!

This is exactly what I am thinking, currently looking at a brand new version of the book on Amazon now!

Irk no. Enrage yes.

The secondhand puzzle book would not bother me in the slightest. But getting the wrong notebook would be annoy me. Can you exchange it?

Unfortunately not as it’s from a completely different company and they don’t do the spiral bound notebooks that I prefer using, they just do the same type of notebook but in different prints

The 2nd-hand puzzle book wouldn't bother me, the notebook would.

It would fuck me right off that I didn't matter enough so that any cheap thing close enough to what id asked for would do

Dump him, and I mean. You asked for gifts totalling £31 and he thought you deseved far less? It's not the money, it's the attitude.

I would immediately purchase the items I wanted for myself. I would make no secret of my unimpressedness!

I asked my DH for three very specific books, I needed them because one of my supervisees is focusing on this writer so I needed to get up to speed. He ignored my request entirely and got me 5 really random books I’d never choose to read.

Honestly yes it would irk me and I feel your pain. It’s really thoughtless.

I wouldn't be bothered by the second-hand puzzle book if it was in perfect condition - although I'm guessing yours wasn't, or you wouldn't have noticed it was secondhand. If it was in less than mint condition, I'd be annoyed.

I would definitely be bothered by the notebook. You asked for a small, nice thing and he got you something totally different because he couldn't bear to spend even a mere £20 on his own partner? What a shitbag.

It's not as if you even asked for anything expensive. You asked for two small gifts. If he was struggling for money and £31 was a lot to him, that would be different, but if he's got thousands sitting in the bank, as you say, then he's a miserable, tight bastard. How can someone with plenty of money available to them think the person they love isn't even worth £31??

He's spent about a tenner on you. For things you didn't want. DH would be mortified if he even thought about similar.

Can you tell him how you feel?

"Your meanness has made my fanjo slam shut, and for that reason, you're fired".

Yes, it would. Ex did similar and thinking about it still irks me!

Yes it would annoy me.

He asked you.
You picked very low maintenance and relatively low cost items.
He didn't really listen and found ways to save on £31!.

Tight git.

You know, I was really expecting a flaming for being ungrateful, but my rage feels a lot more justified now so thank you for all of your opinions and advice! I have treated myself to the new book and a nice new notebook and I will make a point of openly using and enjoying them! 😊

Glad you have now treated yourself @Emmi1995.

Please remember his tightarsed, uncaring attitude when his birthday comes around.
If he has an urge for an expensive chocolate cake from a select artisan bakery, get a supermarket chocolate muffin. Well it's the same thing, isn't it????

The shite gifts would irk me for sure if everything else was good.
But hidden in there was 'they don't regularly pay for things'.
So if we're talking about a tight selfish git it would more than irk me.
It would repulse me.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

You are bold @Nicecatneighbour😂😂😂

Will you talk to him?

I want to, I’m debating how to bring it up. The anger in me wants to be like “I’ve just ordered a new book and notebook because you’re too stingy and I’m not even worth £30 to you” to next time he asks me what I’m up to (he is currently at work on a night shift) but I know the adult in me should say it straight up and just say this behaviour has upset me and we need to talk about it.

I have just been sitting here thinking how he is good in lots of ways don’t get me wrong, but in other ways I just deserve so much better. He hasn’t once even bought me a coffee for heavens sake and has the cheek to claim to be on the breadline every month trying to get sympathy when he has been secretly sitting on an account full of money and watching me pay for every treat we have, absolutely unbelievable!

He hasn’t once even bought me a coffee for heavens sake and has the cheek to claim to be on the breadline every month trying to get sympathy when he has been secretly sitting on an account full of money and watching me pay for every treat we have, absolutely unbelievable!

WTF! Why oh why do you stay with a stingy man like this @Emmi1995 ? This is so utterly unattractive and I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone like this. Please raise your bar.