To think people who work from home don’t understand this?! And they’re paid more usually

[Ugriap]

I work in a job where I can’t work from home. I get that’s my choice but when I trained, working from home was not common. Now it is in a lot of places. I know I can re train but it’s not that easy!

I can’t just go to appointments during my lunch break. I can’t ever do this. So I have to book leave if I want to get my haircut or dental appointments. Or I go on a weekend so I’m basically having less free time.

A close friend is a high earner and she is always galavanting round during the day then catches up on her work in the evening at her convenience. I can’t understand why people like this don’t get that I don’t have this flexibility?! My time is so much more limited. I feel really isolated from the friendship group these days

More senior staff members typically have more flexibility for things like appointments, school picks up, etc - not hair appointments. But in the places I've worked they tend to work much longer hours, attending evening board meetings, etc. I'm relatively flexibility in how team manage their time, as I trust they'll get work completed and make up hours.

If someone can get away with that working from home, they get all their work done and no issue to their employer, sounds like they’ve got a cracker. Good on them!

Nor is it fair you equal youe friends working from home role to mean everyone else who works from home can do like she can

I cant tell you the amount of mertings I have had with a colleguage who ends up eating her lunch in the meeting as she has had no time for a break.

Doctors appointment were easier when I didnt work from home as I could get time off. And if I want a haircut in working hours I need to take time off.

Im paid to work

I work from home and have an hour for lunch which is not enough time to have a hair appointment - I have just spent 5 hours on my Saturday having my cut and colour. I also have to be on zoom with a camera in for most of my day! So I feel your perception of wfh is incorrect.

This isn't really about working from home though. Even if I'm working from home, I have to work set hours and don't have a lunch break. Different jobs have different conditions that has always been the car and always will

Working from home gives you back so much time and also makes it easier to go somewhere after work as you're already there with your car for a quick escape. You can get a few chores done at lunchtime giving you back the weekend, eat better lunches with no prep needed at weekend, save travel costs, not getting soaked going to work etc etc. even with my local commute I wound get back ten hours a week in total morning and evening plus five for a lunch hour if taken and save a hundred pounds a month on bus fares or even more on car park fees.

I feel this sometimes. At work I spend so much time getting drawn into random conversations and think nothing of wandering around getting cups of tea and chatting in the kitchen. At home if I make tea and boil the kettle from stone cold I'm conscious of my MS Teams icon saying I'm away🙄even though absolutely nobody is looking or checking or caring. For some people they are being monitored and I can't imagine how that must feel at times.

If I could work flexible hours and work from home, I would be at my desk by 6am. People who work from home don’t have the commute time or the stress of it, so that’s definitely a bonus. But I love being in the buzz of a work place, the banter and the feeling of belonging. I would hate to be stuck at home and not see people. So there are pros and cons of both. For young people it could be incredibly lonely and not great for mental health. However, when I try to contact people who work from home, why is it they are walking the dog, at the gym or just popped out? And considering I work with teenagers, their impression of their parents working from home is they don’t do a lot and why can’t they study from home!!!!

For most of my working life very much in an office. Only my last role, even before Covid, was hybrid, but I never took time out during the day, just totally appreciated not having to commute and also mindful that I was being paid to be present! I also worked over if something needed finishing, but again the 2 hours not driving focused my mind on getting the job done! Sadly one team in the organisation had so many that others struggled to reach or just seemed to not be managing to do their roles, that they all (regardless of individual performance) got pulled back full time into the office, so it pays to not abuse WFH

But you said she works in the evening to make up time, so she's working while you have the evening off. So she still probably works her 37 hours (or whatever the contract is!)

What you are craving is a more flexible job.

You’re confusing WFH with flexible employers.

I’ve been 100% office based with my job, and now am 20% office based. Same employer for a decade. They have always been absolutely fine with appointments in office hours / taking an extra 15 at lunch for haircuts etc. You just make up the time- and tbh, in my industry it’s rare to find anyone working 9-5. We tend to be on call/ working unsociable hours, for no extra pay. It’s just the nature of the beast.

I work FAR more hours now I WFH - because I can’t leave my work at the office, and it’s the kind of job that’s never “done”- and actually feel like i have LESS flexibility because i never ever want people to think im skiving.

Having spent the majority of my working life in customer facing office roles with zero flexibility, that was always how it was.
I had to get my hair done at weekends, although employers are required to let you have time off for doctors and dentist appointments.
In the past few years I have had hybrid roles which allowed me to work from home om some days, but I was expected to be present and correct (and wearing uniform) during working hours because a Teams call could come in from the boss any minute, so there was no galavanting!
The only time I have experienced the level of freedom you mention is when I have been self employed and booking my own clients.
That is certainly not the norm for us mere mortals!

OP, you sound insufferable. What absolute nonsense you spouting.

The concept of fairness you have is strange.

I can't work from home. It's never occurred to me to be jealous of those who can 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry - I am similar to your friend. High earner, senior member of staff and work from home most of the time. I nip for my nail appointment on my lunch sometimes or to meet somebody for coffee. However I also start at 5am most days and can be working until midnight and bring in more money than most people in the office because I put more hours in….

DP wfh and he absolutely can take time out to go to the gym, school events, the dentist, school run etc, it is allowed by his employer as long as there no online meetings that DP is required to attend. DP has to put everything on his calendar so his whereabouts are known and the time has to be made up the same day so if DP takes two hours in the afternoon to go to the gym he has to work until 7pm to make it up. Of course life is not like this for everyone, I could never get a job wfh and it’s not fair but that’s life, DP chose the career that he did and I chose mine.

I had a conversation with a friend recently who was boasting she’d not had a day off ill from work since 2020. She failed to realise that wfh when you have a heavy cold or a stomach upset etc is a darn sight easier than having to go into an office or public facing role.

I do think it’s definitely harder to be up and out of the door every day by 7.30am in all weathers no matter how shit you feel.

However, I wouldn’t moan about it as, like others have said, there are pros and cons and it’s predominantly your choice in terms of what job you do. But I do get irritated with people pretending they work just as hard at home as they do in the office- the majority of my friends and family wfh and not one of them fails to take advantage of a bit of free/flexible time during the day. It is without doubt, far easier and relaxing to wfh than go into a workplace

Change companies so you can get upto what 2% of WFH employees get up to with a flexible employer. The 'it isn't fair' comments are beyond childish

Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s not that your friend gets more time for things than you, she makes the time up later in the day when you’re sat at home in the evening watching tv. Everyone makes different sacrifices but ultimately it’s very unusual for people WFH to log off for hours at a time. I would potentially arrange an early dentist appointment (once a year!) and make the time up but certainly not heading to the gym or getting my hair done. I barely have time for lunch and I’m working after the kids are bed too. When I’m in the office I spend more time away from my desk at lunch as I’m in town and it feels like freedom. Precovid I would use a lunch hour in the office to have my nails done etc. now I feel like that’s taking advantage but arguably you still have that option to you!

I see more galavanting from those who aren't remote in the company I work for. Don't be surprised if this catches up with your friend.

Well i guess working from home ppl save time on the commuting so they get more break time for running errands etc and its really bad for mental health to not interact with other humans throughout the day and just stay in, alone day in day out so being able to get out for breaks to do things, chat to a sales clerk etc is probably essential for mental health.

I wfh as a freelancer. So yes I can gallivant if I want. But I won't charge for that time. I get paid peanuts for this privilege. I also get no sick pay or holiday pay.

Newsflash life isn't fair, either get over it or get a different job

I work in a job where I can’t work from home. I get that’s my choice ...

There's your answer right there.
It is okay to own your envy, @Ugriap.
Until a year ago I worked full-time in the office. I was much less productive than I am now working from home. I arrived stressed after spending over a hour driving in awful traffic then trying to find a free parking space. Then - while nice to talk to colleagues - it was difficult to concentrate in a busy social space. I always left the office on the absolute dot of finishing time to minimise driving/traffic. On the surface I worked my 40 hours but not effectively.
In late 2024 our office closed and we were all forced home to work. I was not happy as I didn't want my home to become my workplace. However, it didn't take long for me to appreciate the saving in petrol, time, lunches/coffees out and stress. I now often work more than my contracted hours. I log on at 6.30am and work for a few hours then shower and dress, make breakfast etc before Teams meetings start. If I am not busy I might take additional time out during the day - at 69 I have health issues - but I then work later in the day and into the evening. We had a public (you call it 'bank') holiday on Friday and I worked a lot of it (through choice) to get stuck into a project. I was happy to do that because my employer operates a high trust model where "swings and roundabouts" work. If I want to attend a medical appointment (not nails or hair!) during the working day I blank out 'personal appt' in my Teams calendar and make the time up later that day or during the week. This is not gadding about.
Don't cast aspersions on everyone who works from home because your friend appears to take advantage.

What a lot of tosh!! I work from home in a stressful role and certainly am not galavanting! I actually reminisce about the days working in office as I’d do less hours than working at home ! You don’t get to switch off and close the computer same way as in the office ! And haircuts are strictly weekend only ! Grass is not always greener OP!!