Distressing thread titles.

[itsmeafterall]

I don't think iIABU but there seems to have been a recent sharp rise in really distressing thread titles -without a trigger warning. By the time I've read them it's too bloody late.

There is so much terrible content on the internet at the moment - especially with the Epstein shit in spades so, sadly, plenty of grim material to discuss. Not saying it shouldn't be raised, but a TW should be used.

AIBU in asking people to be a lot more
Thoughtful when posting - MN can't be asked to be in top of editing with immediate turnaround.

TW coming up of a recent example below.

Im referring to titles like the one I just saw about a woman having her spine broken on video. Seriously grim.

@mnhq please can I ask you to issue a reminder to people to be more careful?

I just make sure I never get to the bottom of a thread that is likely to be distressing. The title does normally hint at the content before opening the thread. All the Epstein stuff at the moment, I give a very wide berth to that, it's upsetting and I don't need the grim detail. Stuff about sex topics, not interested, so click away.

just click away and get on with your day, it isn't hard. But if you read all the way to the bottom of the OP out of curiosity rather than seeing "woman's spine broken" and clicking off that thread, then youll get upset by it. That's life, so take control back and manage what you read. We're all adults on here.

YAVBU.

And for a number of reasons.

Firstly, we are responsible for our own emotional regulation. It is not the responsibility of others to manage your world. I used to be part of an online therapy support group and there would be weekly requests from newcomers asking for this. The therapist refused it saying that people shouldn't have to censor their own experiences of life for the comfort of others.

If you read a thread title and you think the content will be distressing for you to read, don't open it.

Secondly, people will have different 'triggers'. Every thread on the Internet could have a TW. Even something as innocuous as "What are you up to today?" threads could 'trigger' somebody if someone posts that they are going to do something that another poster found distressing due to factors in their own life.

Thirdly, thread titles rarely contain enough information to actually be a trigger in and of themselves. If you are so sensitive that even the thought a thread could contain something you might find distressing without reading it, you need therapy to address those issues. Not to censor the rest of the world.

Yabu. This is a site aimed at grown ups,

Who decides what is "triggering"? What may be upsetting for me, may be fine for you and vice versa.

Maybe forums like MN aren't for you, maybe use a gardening or other hobby forum instead

Sorry but that is ridiculous.
Every thread that could possibly upset anyone has to have a super vague title so that nobody actually knows what it's about and has to click to find out? It is unworkable.

It would still be subjective what people considered sensitive though.

Wedding planning/Bridezilla threads could he distressing for someome who discovered their new spouse cheating at their wedding.

Should I do party bags for my child's first birthday party could be sensitive for people who had lost a baby.

I've just landed my dream job threads could be distressing for someone who has lost their job and was struggling to find another and facing financial difficulty as a result.

I'm.unaware of the thread being discussed but reading the words "woman breaks spine" wouldn't be distressing to me. I might not want to read the thread but I wouldn't be upset by the title.

I completely agree with *pinkdelight *iit rather implies women just can't cope with the realities of life. Or thoughts.

YABVU.

I'm sorry you have struggles such that reading a thread title is distressing for you, but you have to find ways to deal with the world, the world isn't going to bend to fit your wishes.

How have we got to a point where (presumably) adults are so Main Character?

YABU - I actually listened to a programme on Radio 4 about trigger warnings and their effectiveness. Research indicates that trigger warnings do not reduce emotional distress. The opposite in fact - they don't stop people viewing content with a trigger warning and they then increase anxiety when encountering distressing content. And yet people continue to demand them - so I tend to assume recognition their special sensitivity and having it pandered to are the real motivations behind the demand for trigger warnings.

Op your update makes no sense. Everything you've said on it contradicts your OP.

What update?
I can’t see any update from OP.

Wrong thread, this OP @itsmeafterall has done the classic - no-one is agreeing with me so I am not coming back

I agree with this. If it affects you so much I think that’s more of the issue to turn to, instead of trying to control other people.

Seriously? You find a thread title distressing?

How do you cope in life?

It's the graphic bodily function ones that get me. Just sitting having my breakfast scrolling and bam, graphic description of someone's profuse diarrhoea 🤮
You can unsee them even if you don't open the thread.
Probably shouldn't Mumsnet and eat!

This.

I'm more bothered by stuff like this then what was mentioned in the OP

Yeah sorry, not sure what I did there!!

Yes, quite.
Also it's really important to retain perspective. For example the thread in question - obviously a really painful injury but the woman in question totally recovered and was back to work within 3 months. People get hurt and life happens, it's not healthy to want to pretend otherwise.

Trigger warnings aren't supposed to warn people that they might see an upsetting word. They are supposed to warn people with PTSD about specific subjects which they might want to avoid reading about in more detail.

Your trigger warning, which was "TW coming up of a recent example below" is meaningless and therefore unhelpful because it doesn't actually tell people what the triggering subject matter might be.

If someone has PTSD about (eg) child abuse, they are helped by a trigger warning that says 'TW - child abuse' because they then know that a post is going to be about a subject they would rather avoid.

But if someone just says 'TW, distressing' that is of zero help to anyone, because it doesn't tell someone whether it might trigger them or not and they have no idea whether they can read it.

Also, people really need to know that merely being upset, sad or disgusted about something isn't being 'triggered'. Being 'triggered' is specifically about seeing something that induces PTSD symptoms because it reminds someone of something that happened to them - eg soldiers being extremely agitated by the sound of fireworks because it reminds them of guns or shelling.

Titles need to indicate what the thread is about. If you don’t like the sound of it; don’t read it.

TW’s have passed usefulness now anyway.

First time on the internet OP?

How is "TW: Woman's spine broken in violent attack" better than "Woman's spine broken in violent attack?" "TW" on its own is useless.

Most thread titles cover the general nature of their content and that's enough for most people to work out if it's relevant to their interests or better to pass by.

The worst thing that happened to MN, worse than Brexit or Covid was that phase when people wanted OPs to flag up if a thread was hunourous with a warning. It quenched a lot of the natural good humour on the site and left MN a more dour place thereafter.

I've never seen a thread entitled "lovely fluffy bunnies" and then to find it's about rape. Anyway, how the fuck do adults like the OP navigate the world without being "triggered" every 2 seconds. Must be pretty tiring, and tiresome.

I don't think you can realistically expect other people to anticipate every single thing that might trigger someone. You would end up having trigger warnings on every other post. Plus the titles would either have to be so obscure that nobody would know what threads were about without clicking on them or the titles themselves would be potentially triggering in any case.

If you are suffering with some sort of post traumatic stress disorder which means that you can be triggered by reading something on a discussion forum, then you should probably try to avoid forums where people are likely to discuss stuff. Especially with everything that is in the news right now.

Some of the threads are really upsetting to read, because upsetting things are happening in the world. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't be discussed, and I honestly can't see how having trigger warnings on everything will really help anyone.

Maybe just stay offline for a few days if you're struggling.

I am not particularly triggered by thread titles. I skip a lot of things mainly because they don’t interest me. Some of the more prolific thread starters do post ‘attention grabbing’ thread titles. It works and does get lots of other posters reacting to their threads which I guess is the whole point.