Friend not replying to messages

[Bluejeansrose78]

My friend has over the past few months stopped replying to messages.

So we last spoke on fb messenger maybe in last week of december time, and I said about meeting up one day after work or at the weekend for a drink or coffee. She has been active on other social media and stuff and i can see she js online but shr just hasnt opened my message at all.

i saw her randomly after work one day as she was leaving 2 weeks ago and she said i’m so sorry for not replying to your messages and said she was so busy at work and it was stressful

i said it was okay, but did she want ti meet up sometime soon for a proper catch ip and she said yeah we can see sort something out,

i’ve not heard from her since, this is a common occurrence she is regularly really slow to reply but i feel hurt that she acknowledged my missed messages in person and still didnt reply.

i’m tempted to send her another message in a few weeks just asking if everything is okay and see if she wants to meet up and then pulling back and waiting for her to reply

am i been unreasonable? We went through last year when we would meet up all the time and do stuff together to all of sudden her not seeming interested or when we do meet up its a rushed half an hour thhing

How long have you known her and how did you become friends?

So sorry to be harsh, but she's slowly fading you and the friendship out...

Let it go x

Sounds like she's checked out of the friendship, and you'll probably need to move on.

Honestly? Take the hint.

Shes rude and not your friend.

Yep, she's fading you out

We’ve been friends for 2 years nearly three, we meet because her husband and I worked at the same pub, but me and her befame very close after I left and we would meet up for drinks while her husband worked late, we went out for NYE together and i’ve been round her house for game nights and stuff

A “ proper catch up” sounds a bit intense to me. I tend to meet with friends to go for a walk or to the opera or a gallery. I do have weeks when I don’t want to socialise because I have enough on though and the weather has been rubbish.

Do you know her well enough to know the true full picture of what's going on in her life and what her mental health is like?

She might have a lot going on.

Before mobiles people didn't get hassled as much. Now you're checking if she's read your messages etc.

If you like her company, just see if she comes back to socialising. If you don't, let it go.

Had a similar experience. I was the one making all the effort and she kept leaving early when we met up as if she didn't value my time. I gave up and then she messaged out of the blue. She must've been busy but then always was. I was over it, had given up already and so didn't get back to her.

Sad but if someone doesn't value your time or effort then they're not really a friend. I always allow for different scenarios in that they might have lots going on or you don't know if somethings happened but if it keeps happening then it just them.

Just unfriend her on fb and ignore any messages from her. If you see her in person just tell her you got the hint and she clearly couldn’t be bothered with being friends with you so you did her a favour so she wouldn’t have to keep making excuses

Just unfriend her on fb and ignore any messages from her. If you see her in person just tell her you got the hint and she clearly couldn’t be bothered with being friends with you so you did her a favour so she wouldn’t have to keep making excuses
This would be embarrassingly melodramatic.

She may be fading you out. Or she may just have a lot on and think, oh, yes, I must pick a night to see X, but it's become another job to do. Maybe suggest a specific thing/couple of dates. That can help focus the mind and help you get an actual date in the diary. It's easy to slip out of seeing people and I think worth putting in the effort if the reward could be the pleasure you've had in the past.

I thought that too.

Don’t message again as that would be the third time you’ve asked and she’ll feel nagged. She might be really stressed with something.

A proper catch up sounds intense because you usually go to the opera? 😂

I absolutely love that you go to the opera and I’m not being mean but that would be a way more intense invitation than a general catch up over coffee/a drink in my world!

It's because you wouldn't have to talk, so it's easier - as a film is easier.

Ok, this is genius and definitely makes sense and I am 100% suggesting the opera next time someone invites me for a catch and I can’t be bothered!

I think if I suggested the opera to any of my friends they'd look very very puzzled!

Well at least now theyll know it’s because you don’t want to listen to them!

Stop messaging her. If she doesn’t make the first move to message you, you’ll have your answer.

🤣🤣

Dont do this unless you are 12.
I have had this happen and done it back. Friends come and go. Its OK to move on. You might become friends again at another time. She might just be busy or tired or it might be the end of the line.

I wouldn’t assume it’s a fade or anything personal. She just sounds busy and most likely genuinely can’t fit in a fun thing like a proper catch up with you right now. I’ve got a lot on at work and with family this year and when someone asks me for a coffee I feel instantly stressed and like a twat for not being available but it’ll be at least after Easter before I catch my breath. She’s told you that with the vague replies so leave the ball in her court and don’t push. If that makes her a bad friend so be it, you don’t need her anyway. But if you still want to meet when she has the bandwidth then do.

Tbh id assume she's doing that cowardly ghosting thing people do when they lack the stones to have a conversation so she's hoping you take the hint and stop messaging her.

I honestly wouldn't send her a single message more. And a polite hello when your paths cross from now on.

If she's ghosting you, you will never hear from her again. If she actually does want you in her life she'll make the effort.

I like ( some) operas and my next meeting with a friend is to go to an opera. We’re both quite busy and like having a thing to go to even if we are going for a walk somewhere. Bearing your soul over coffee sounds very teenage and someone who needs to talk usually means they talk and I listen and monologues are very boring. If it’s not a 2 way conversation I can’t be bothered i