"Yes he's an only child. The only child in the whole family, his auntie didn't have children so he is babied a lot."
"he was single for years before we got together"
His relationships - with his daughter's mother "he was 23 and lasted a year" with his son's mother a one-night stand, and "one other who he was with for 4 years (and no dcs) that's his whole dating history."
He really is a walking example of 'they fuck you up, your mum and dad'. His role in the family is to be "babied" and by god he absolutely behaves like one (as they have trained him to do
). That he's held down a relationship with you for so long is testament to you holding it together, I suspect. So much of his adult life spent single, which probably suits his mother very well. She'd drive you away if she could, OP.
But he is the root of the problem here - his behaviour, what he does, what he doesn't do.
"he doesn't say anything to them. He's too scared to say anything from his DD in the fear she falls out with him."
"Would [his mum's tacky family drawing] hurt you? Or am I being a tad sensitive? DH says I am."
It absolutely would hurt me. And my husband telling me I shouldn't feel that hurt, that I am too sensitive, would hurt me even more. Bad enough that he's too scared to say anything to them about their behaviour, he's also too scared to acknowledge their behaviour, preferring to gaslight you that no, nothing to see here, no bad behaviour towards you at all, hand me that brush I have to sweep all this under the carpet. What a fucking baby!
"We have 2 main slow dances planned, a first one just us then a second that everyone could get up and dance with us. After the first dance finished my DH instantly let me go and pulled up his DD to slow dance the 2nd one with. I was standing there like a spare prick on the dancefloor then the best man swooped in and we danced. That part was awkward."
That shocked me - really shocked me. And you've only be married a year, so I'd imagine this is a very raw memory for you. I wish you'd realised then that you will never be a priority to this wholly inadequate man. I'm sorry, but he is. His birth family have seen to that, and I doubt he is capable of change.
This dysfunctional family will cause you hurt again and again whilst you remain married to this man. They won't be able to stop themselves, and he does not have your back. So - is this what you want from your life? You're so young, this shouldn't be your future.