im a shit teacher and i want to cry

[MerryUmberFox]

>first year on the job
>have incredibly difficult low ability high need SEN group of year 10 boys (14-15)
>have a good relationship with them and most lessons are positive but very slow progressing
>by some miracle, they all pass the mock bar one (doesn't sound like an achievement but i really didnt think any of them would even get a 4. only because i forced them to actually learn the content despite furious resistance from them at every turn)
>culminates in so much boundary pushing that a disastrous lesson punctuated by rudeness, personal questions, unkindness, disrespect
>feel demoralised and wonder how i've let this happen
>put my foot down and they all end up receiving a sanction for repeatedly being rude and unkind towards me

>the relationship completely broke down after this sanction
>they are now sulking, refusing to talk to me, refusing to do any work AT ALL
>engagement has now gone from very little to zero

i feel like a shit teacher and i just destroyed the relationships i built with them to the detriment of everything i worked for. I worked so hard to get them to pass their mocks and now they're protesting

school is supporting me but i feel like a shit teacher

no i will not correct my spelling and grammar ive had a shit day

Hugs to you OP. Can’t offer any words of wisdom but as a fellow teacher we’ve all been there. The fact that you care about it shows you’re not shit. How long has it been since the sanction? The relationship has ruptured but young people are resilient and they tend to come around eventually. Feb half term soon and you can recharge. So sorry you’re in this shit position right now. Massive ups and downs in our job. Thinking of you.

You aren’t a shit teacher. There’s on,y so much you can do and it sounds like you’ve done it. Source: me. Retired from a 35 year secondary English career.
what other classes do you have? How are they doing? It’s far too easy to focus on the negative in teaching.

Voted YANBU as in YANBU to feel this way

Thank you for trying with these boys.

They will thank you in their thoughts, in time. Or maybe just some of them will. But they passed and maybe it will be the only mock they do pass.

You sound like an amazing teacher, not a shit one.

I don't know anything about teaching but isn't this:

>first year on the job
>have incredibly difficult low ability high need SEN group of year 10 boys (14-15)

like strapping a pair of skis on a beginner and pushing them off the top of a black run?

Anyone who can teach that age group with the issues involved is a saint.
I take my hat off to secondary school teachers at the best of times.
Well done, you’re doing a very difficult job, it is bound to knock your confidence at times.

@powershowerforanhour yes yes it is! It’s also a common tactic by schools so that more experienced teachers get the higher sets to get the better grades for the school assuming the lowest set will fail anyway and effectively writing them off, really depressing

@MerryUmberFox you did amazingly well to get them through the mocks. Try to repair by bigging up this achievement that is yours and theirs together. Perhaps build back the trust by having an honest conversation about how proud you are of their achievements and how you can work together to get them through

I also have low ability high needs class

i feel shit some days because quiet boys get ignored lesson after lesson and high needs ones get “too much” negative attention

I can handle kids being divas but take criticism from parents or managers very much to heart .

my mum was a teacher and her advice was you have to learn to live with daily failures. Teaching is not for perfectionists . It’s like parenting - you only need to get it mostly right with a good intentions and love - all will be well .
I think you need to be frank with them and say “ look you’ve done the crime , done the time now let’s move on”. Maybe do a fake test which is easy and they mark it and get a boost and you can praise them , set a fun simple homework ,

boys like competition , I used to tutor a boy and all the time I tutored him I had a “fake boy” who i pretended to him I tutored to create competition, I would set him a task and say my “other pupil” had achieved 8/10 and my tutor would then go all out to get 10/10
can you fo that ? Make a fake quiz and let them be victorious but make it seem that they are the hero’s and foster good will that way ?

or just have a bottle of wine and write fuck it X 100 in your planner

I’ve said you’re being unreasonable because you’re being far too hard on yourself.

it’s your FIRST YEAR of teaching, you’re still learning the ropes and you’ve got this really hard group. Ffs, anyone would fail with that lot!

deep breath, let them sulk, remind them that you’re there for their benefit not your own.

year 10 boys are shits.

Well I cant cope with my own 14/15 year old at the moment so hats off to you op.

💯
no wonder SLT are supporting you - they are terrified you may leave !

Pretty sure you just had a shit manager who should not have placed you with this class

I’ve said YABU but by that I mean you’re unreasonable to say you’re a shit teacher.
You aren’t shit. You’re inexperienced and are teaching in a system that is collapsing around you with pressures and expectations that are enough to make the strongest people ill. Experienced, good teachers are struggling. I gave up teaching as I couldn’t take it anymore and I know I was a good teacher.

Please go easy on yourself. You aren’t failing. You aren’t shit. This job is HARD and you are very new to it. I’m glad your school are supporting you and I hope they continue to. If you can forget about work for tonight, get a good rest and go back in tomorrow with your head held high and don’t let the little shits mae you believe it’s your fault.

You are not a shit teacher!
Everyone says the run down to Christmas is the hardest part of the year but if you have mocks and formal assessments this half term it is truly tough going! You’re tired, they’re tired, you’re all stressed, it’s dark and the weather is manky!
Give it a couple of weeks, focus on giving yourself some slack and you’ll feel
like a new person after a week off :-)
You didn’t build that relationship in a day and it won’t be destroyed equally as fast. X

You are not a shit teacher.

Tomorrow is another day. Greet them with smiles, be pleased to see them, even if you are thinking, ‘Fucking hell, here we go again.’ Get in there with the stickers (all students, even the too cool for school, love stickers. I deliver them to my older students in a semi-jokey way but they all love them and want one.) Stand at the door with your welcoming smile and give them an easy task to do as they come into the room. Be positive and cheerful - pretend it’s making your day to see them (no-one wants to feel someone doesn’t like them.) Plan this lesson so it’s full of ways for them to succeed. Praise, praise, praise. Exude the ‘warm fuzzies’ even if you feel murderous. You’re not trying to get them to like you, (they are teenagers - they couldn’t give a shit) you’re trying to make them think you like them.

And play the long game. In a few weeks they won’t be there any more and you will.

It’s such a tough job. Stick at it. It’s also the best job, and you will learn something new every single day. I have been teaching for 30 years and still every day in school is (literally) a school day for me.

So you’ve been teaching for a term and a half. You’ve had a crap day, but you aren’t a crap teacher. In the end, those boys will be glad that someone sets boundaries for them. They don’t like it just now, but they’ll remember the good lessons they had with you.

I had a small group (11) of year 11 boys and one girl, who had dropped a GCSE. I had been teaching for years, but boy, did they make me feel inadequate. I didn’t even have to get them through a particular GCSE; it was supposed to be supporting their other options.

You’re doing a good job if you’ve got the majority to a 4 in their mocks. Give yourself a break. You deserve it!

You are doing a fantastic job. Not only are you actually getting them to progress, they have passed a mock! What you really need to learn is to not give a fuck what they say to you however personal, also just continue following the protocol for unacceptable behaviour in your setting. Do not argue with them(not saying you do) just keep stating what they are required to do. Document everything, which is time consuming I appreciate.
One thing I used to say was, I will be ringing each of your parents and requesting them to come and sit next to you in lesson next week, I am putting my time and effort in, your parents need to come and see your attitude and effort.
To be fair the schools I worked in at least 10 years ago were supportive.
I now teach in FE older learners but same issues really, possibly more support if needed too I guess.💕

I take my hat off to anyone who tackles this year group!
Take this with a pinch of salt if you will, as my class were younger and less set in their ways, but many years ago, I inherited a class which run wild during the previous year. They were known to be tricky, so had started the academic year with a very skilled teacher; unfortunately, these same skills resulted in him getting promotion in another school. They worked their way steadily through a succession of supply staff, growing increasingly convinced of their own invincibility.
The first few weeks resembled "Lord of the Flies", but I battled through, insisting on certain standards, and seemed to be making headway, when to my despair they regressed as Christmas approached. I was despairing until I realised that what I was seeing was "extinction burst" - their hitherto reliable tactics were failing to budge me, so they felt obliged to exhibit the same poor behaviour, but with greater intensity.
Oddly, a chance remark from me about something planned for the Spring term caused the first shift. They had assumed that I would throw in the towel at the end of term, and were oddly reassured to realise that it would be the same old harridan in the coming term.
They never did become an easy class, but we came to an understanding after that.
They were younger of course, which makes an enormous difference, but I wouldn't give in just yet.

Quite. I was a Head of English. I would not have done this. Chances are I’d have taken them myself. Not as self sacrificing as it sounds. Sometimes dealing with it first hand is easier than supporting someone else.

You got them 4s? You are amazing. I wish some of my year 11s would pull their fingers out and do well in their exams, though I am MFL and not many of them really care. I repeat, you are amazing!

Talk to them about respect. How you respect them. They need to respect you. You have got their backs and want the best for them. BUT that means you have to make them work.

Kids are like dogs. If they know you are scared of them they will eat you alive. Gather whatever you've got inside and use it to help YOU feel in charge, regardless of what they do. They are always going to be shits.

I've been where you are. I was a single parent and KNEW if I got sacked I was up shit creek. It was the fear of losing my income that gave me the determination to stick it out. Because my attitude was different (again, they could smell it) things slightly improved. I say slightly because they were who they were. Violent, some of 'em on drugs, some dim, some very bright but disadvantaged, bullies and the bullied in the same room. At least one if not more got sent out every lesson. Some did no work. Some tried hard and failed.

At the end of the two year course I was devastated to see them go. I loved them.

Hmmmm. I had my shit class in my first year of teaching. And I had an absolutely fabulous HOD. Trial by fire. It worked. She was in the classroom next to me though. Would pop her head in if it got too riotous.

There are different ways of doing it, sure. But I always felt the less able needed the more experienced and proven teachers.

OP it sounds as though you are actually doing a great job. Teaching is REALLY hard and any job with responsibility is going to entail good and bad phases.
It’s also wonderful to read such a supportive thread. You all sound amazing and your pupils are lucky to have you.