to think that good skincare and "tweakments" do make a big difference?

[frostedcup]

I'm in my late 40's and have for a long time resisted getting sucked into expensive skincare products, devices and treatments as a way to look better, have smoother skin etc. I know a lot of women in my age group as well as some younger and some older and so I feel like I do see the difference between those who have been like me i.e. fairly basic in their skincare to those who pay a lot for expensive products and get treatments. I know genetics do play a role but I am talking about women in my close family, women I grew up with who I know were doing the same damage to their looks in their youth that I was and yet their use of retinol, tretinoin, botox, face peels and so on seems to have completely slowed down the way that the damage has shown up on their faces in that it essentially doesn't.

I have been using some basic skincare for years such as cerave cleaners and moisturisers and I do use SPF most of the time. I would occasionally try a serum , toner or face mask but not consistently but last year I did invest in some higher end skincare and a tretinoin prescription and my skin is looking so much better and its really boosted my confidence. I have some forehead lines that I don't think topical skincare will address and so I have decided to get some botox in that area and am also considering a peel or dermal needling as well as an LED mask.

I always worried that botox would make me look overdone but when I look at the women I know who get it they just look better in my opinion. I do know one younger woman who looks a bit strange at certain angles but I believe that is down to filler use as I know she has that. Overall I think botox makes a big positive difference to the women I know have had it.

I do worry that by participating in getting botox and other skin treatments that I am perpetuating a kind of pressure on women to follow suit. I think in some ways that is what has happened to me really that I got fed up of being on the other side of that divide of those who have it and those who haven't or perhaps it doesn't really matter and we all just do our own thing.

It’s sad that you judge other women on their personal choices that affect you in no way whatsoever.

I’m 52. I don’t use Botox or have fillers, I’m a bit afraid to inject stuff in my skin. I use retinol and I think SPF is vital even in winter, and I recently bought a red light mask on sale. I’ve only done one red light treatment so far but I’m hoping to see some results with it

I'll be 45 this summer and have been getting botox for 2.5 years. I love it. If my age comes up in conversation people tend to indicate they think I'm mid/late 30s so nothing ridiculous - I'm clearly not 25 🤣.

I will say I hated looking younger in my 20s and can particularly remember having to walk back to my flat once as the local shop wouldn't sell me an Archers Aqua without it! Now I do appreciate it!

My mum has good skin and I would say I do too even without the botox. I don't really drink or smoke. I do like a sunny holiday a few times a year though and I'm not someone who is religious about wearing sunscreen every day like you're meant to. Holidays yes but at home....I grew up with Oil of Ulay (loved the smell). I use Elemis now and have done for a few years. I don't have regular facials though. So I think I'm fairly normal.

I have my forehead done, 11s and some along my jaw. I love how it softens the lines but I'm not fully frozen, I don't feel I need any other areas done. I go every 6 months for a top up once I see the lines starting to fade back in. The effect is very good and a little addictive. The difference for me is subtle but I really like it. I can move my entire forehead and I don't feel I've lost any expression whereas a colleague about the same age can't move her eyebrows at all and likes a very firm freeze - each to their own.

I think worth a try. I will continue with it until I feel that it's maybe looking a bit odd as clearly we all do age and there is nothing wrong with growing older. I have no regrets about getting it.

I think genetics plays a far bigger role in this then we give it credit for. I don't judge anyone for using Botox (though I must admit I was surprised when I realised how many of my colleagues were having it, due to the cost and commitment - it's not cheap!) As someone with very sensitive skin I have long given up on any skincare to improve my skin though, as anything I've tried my body just reacts against eventually - including all the brands recommended for sensitive skin! For me, leaving it alone definitely works best!

Whilst I do respect other people's choices, I think it's disingenuous to say that it doesn't affect anyone else. It creates a standard. I'm sure I'm not the only woman whose had some anxieties about whether the normalisation of fillers and Botox will mean that I'll look old or be perceived poorly in comparison. It's not something I dwell on but it does have an impact when it's so widespread. When the conversation came up at work I realised that more than half the women on my team were having regular Botox - some more obvious than others.
I personally couldn't justify the cost, though I wasn't tempted when I realised the area id want to change is actually one of the most risky (crows feet) I always have a fringe so I'm less worried about forehead lines!

my question is when women go down this road and get these treatments does it further entrench inequalities for other women?

Quite possibly. I'm properly old (70) and look older/worse than women are now expected to at this age. My skincare's always been pretty good and I was frequently assumed to be younger than my age until about ten years ago. The normal ageing process then performed its works upon my face.

I'm okay with it but, meanwhile, the faces of my same-generation friends have become younger than they were. I'm distinctly ravaged next to them! It's even worse looking at actors of a similar age (both sexes) who seem to be about 40, with a few honourable exceptions, and at wealthy women. Presumably you 40-somethings all look 20-something now?

I think it is becoming a class marker, like good teeth. I'm philosophically attached to ageing naturally, but I'm not sure I wouldn't have 'some work' done if I could afford to. Social pressure is real - you don't need to be told you look worse than society expects, you can see it for yourself and it has an impact.

I've been reading that medical science is more confident in reversing ageing than preventing it. Since the NHS (if it survives) is unlikely to fund 'youthing' for the masses, that's bound to dramatically deepen the divide between the rich - living into the healthy hundreds with firm, glowing skin & regenerated teeth - and the rest of us poor, decrepit fuckers wearing our mortality on the outside.

I agree re: glowing skin. I have been having Botox for around three years (I am 45) and my skin has never looked better (as far as I can remember anyway, I probably just wasn’t taking much notice when I was in my 20’s!)

I’ve added in some serums and moisturiser - nothing too exciting, just Beauty Pie stuff - and my skin is usually so nice that I can happily go out with just mascara on. I suppose that HRT has also made a difference too, plus an iron supplement that I should probably have started taking years ago..

Most women I know have had similar, and often a few other bits done - and mostly I wouldn’t have noticed until they told me.

Some of the most beautiful women are those who age naturally and let the wrinkles happen, but those women probably still have very good skin regimes, dress well and are physically fit.

I think of my beautiful mum who had a really simple beauty regime, or my mother in law who looks amazing with a bright lipstick and has never bothered with injectables. They are both in their 70s.

That is what I’m aiming for- good health but minimal intervention otherwise as I age.

I really resent the idea of pouring vast amounts of money into my face, when I could be putting that money into my pension. I feel the same way about spending money every month on nails.

I think this would be much harder if I was surrounded by immaculately botoxed women. That’s not their fault, but probably would feel some pressure to keep up with a different beauty standard in those circumstances.

I’ve been on HRT for 17 years and think this has kept my skin looking good. Genetics too as my mother has great skin and looks much younger than her age.

However despite all this, I don’t look young. I still look my age with good skin. Sleep, staying out of sun and general health also count for a lot. I’m not convinced that all the skin products make much of a difference apart from on a temporary, very superficial level.

I don’t sunbathe, never smoked and eat too much sugar;skin likely reflects this.

A little Lumi Glotion from L’Oréal mixed in with your moisturiser also makes you look radiant! Lasts for ages and I also mix it with body moisturiser in the summer.

I have seventy hyal. I like it because it makes my tired skin look a bit fresher and glowy.

Genetics definitely has a massive part as i know people who never do any anything at all to look after their skin but for most its lifestyle. I have significantly changed my lifestyle recently (I'm 46) and my skin looks a million times better. Sleep is the main thing I need to improve on now but just not happening right now

I dont care about looking younger, I just want to look good at my age. There is loads i could do to improve my looks but essentially I want to still look like me so I dont do it. I put on 3 stone in the last few years, I have recently lost most of it and it has taken years off me, definitely haven't ended up looking gaunt or older like people suggest can happen. I looked very stereotypica frumpy middle aged women as am short too so do not carry it well at all. Having a rounder face definitely didnt make me look younger, it made me looked saggier in the face for sure.

Alcohol, smoking, sun and diet are key IMO even if you are getting treatments. When I had my botox top up yesterday my lady commented on my skin. I mentioned that my results this time seem much better than previously and that is with less product. She said that so many people complain it doesnt work well on them but they drink daily smoke, have bad diets and use sun beds which effects it massively. So even with expensive treatments its not a miracle cure.

Also, what about inner beauty? I was always taught that beauty comes from within and I do believe that. The most beautiful people I know have an inner radiance. Botox may smooth out some wrinkles but quality of
character is what I aspire to have.

I think injectables make people look weird. In my friendship group of 6 (all mid 50s) two do Botox and filler and it’s obvious in a 100 tiny ways - no forehead wrinkles but still laughter lines, etc.

As humans we are programmed to see the whole face, recognise emotions, seek consistency and uniformity, and when something interrupts that it can be jarring to the eye in ways we’re probably barely aware of - look at people like Jennifer Aniston, Cindy Crawford, Courtney Cox, Sandra Bullock, Catherine Zeta-Jones etc. It’s so clear they’ve had work done - like frozen versions of their 25 year old selves. If they, with all their beauty, and access to the best aestheticians and skincare money can buy don’t look natural, what hope is there for the rest of us? That said, lots of people like that look and if it makes you happy then totally go for it.

No not for me. I spent my 20s and 30s caring so much how I looked. The greatest gift of my 40s is I no longer really care. A little blow dry of my hair, make up and done. If people don't like what they see, tough!! FWIW I don't really spend much time in the mirror to zoom in on anything!

I had botox a few times and loved the smoothness, it also made my forehead look bigger. But whats putting me off getting it again as well as the cost is not being able to express myself fully. I’m always doing a wide eyed eyebrows raised expression and moving my face all over the place, and I like that. but with botox I had to communicate with my eyes!

I was trying to articulate this and failed. This 100%

At 51 I have lost 3 stone and looked in the mirror and really feel I look “tired”.
for a former qualified beauty therapist and beauty counter employee I feel quite /: about it but it’s on me as I don’t do much lately to combat it.
always seem to be stressed , don’t sleep well and haven’t for years , don’t drink much and have never ever smoked but I still eat crap a few times a week.
i always said id have Botox at 40 and never did , thinking of it now and honestly have no clue where to start with over hauling my entire skincare routine from Clinique 3 step right down to tweakments

I'd like good scientific evidence for this. I say this as someone who does exactly nothing and believes I look young for my age. I think it's essentially down to genetics and life style. Yes cosmetic surgery obviously makes people look different, but often in a bad way and only for a while.

I have been using quality skincare products and had a good skincare regime since I started working part time at the age of 15. The sort you buy at a department store counter, Clinique, Estee Lauder etc.

I don't use retinol type products because you have to be careful in the sun, and I practically live outside when the weather is warm. I ran easily and as soon as the first sun in March comes out I start turning brown.

I most certainly don't use Botox, fillers or any other treatments.

My whole life I have had astonished responses when people find out my age. It's genuine bewilderment and astonishment as well and it's happened my whole life. I have a grandchild and everyone thinks I am his mum. It's hilarious seeing everyone's responses when I say I am his grandparent. Everyone thought my child was my sibling, or worse. Once thought he was my partner, because he had a decent beard at quite a young age.

I think the key is starting good skincare practices when you are young and making it a lifelong thing. I read Cosmo/Marie Claire as a teenager and followed their skincare advice

I am all for taking care of myself but all the tweakments can be a slippery slope. If you are mixing in circles where every one is doing it, it becomes normalised and can look overdone as a consequence. People may start out as freshened but end up as “other” - by that I mean they don’t look young they look like they have had stuff done, because they keep on doing it. When I see anyone male or female who looks like they have done something to their face I think it looks desperate, not amazing or wow. I understand society devalues older people and the temptations to push back, but I don’t think this approach is the right way to push back. It is just another woman tax.

I'm 37 and have always looked much younger thanks to good genes, I've never really bothered with much of a skin care routine - just a face wash and moisturiser - but this past year I've felt that I'm starting to age a bit. This could be partly due to having a baby and being run down, and, like you say, everyone else who takes an effort in skincare and make up looking amazing. I've never been very good at make up so just do the basics, and have always been rather against botox and injecting things into your face. But I've now come to realise that's because I've been lucky so far, I haven't needed it, and I suppose I've been judgemental of those who've done it without considering why they feel the need to do it. I'm starting to get little lines around my eyes and gray hairs and suddenly I'm not so okay with aging gracefully anymore 😂 I've recently started buying Korean skin care products and taking much more of an interest in it all. I may or may not get Botox done in the future, but I'm no longer ruling it out.

You’ve done really well to get to 37 and only just get grey hairs and start getting wrinkles around your eyes! I’m 36 and this happened ages ago 😂

YABU to say that it makes you look better. It doesn't, unless it is very, very VERY well done. I know people who say that they have botox and that they look like themselves but better. They don't, but I am of course far too polite to say so. It's your choice, of course, and I don't think it's anyone else's business. But if you are doing it because you think it will make you look younger, it won't.

I think part of it is also how you dress and have your hair. I don’t subscribe to the (often declared on here) view that as soon as you reach 40 you should cut your hair off.