to think that good skincare and "tweakments" do make a big difference?

[frostedcup]

I'm in my late 40's and have for a long time resisted getting sucked into expensive skincare products, devices and treatments as a way to look better, have smoother skin etc. I know a lot of women in my age group as well as some younger and some older and so I feel like I do see the difference between those who have been like me i.e. fairly basic in their skincare to those who pay a lot for expensive products and get treatments. I know genetics do play a role but I am talking about women in my close family, women I grew up with who I know were doing the same damage to their looks in their youth that I was and yet their use of retinol, tretinoin, botox, face peels and so on seems to have completely slowed down the way that the damage has shown up on their faces in that it essentially doesn't.

I have been using some basic skincare for years such as cerave cleaners and moisturisers and I do use SPF most of the time. I would occasionally try a serum , toner or face mask but not consistently but last year I did invest in some higher end skincare and a tretinoin prescription and my skin is looking so much better and its really boosted my confidence. I have some forehead lines that I don't think topical skincare will address and so I have decided to get some botox in that area and am also considering a peel or dermal needling as well as an LED mask.

I always worried that botox would make me look overdone but when I look at the women I know who get it they just look better in my opinion. I do know one younger woman who looks a bit strange at certain angles but I believe that is down to filler use as I know she has that. Overall I think botox makes a big positive difference to the women I know have had it.

I do worry that by participating in getting botox and other skin treatments that I am perpetuating a kind of pressure on women to follow suit. I think in some ways that is what has happened to me really that I got fed up of being on the other side of that divide of those who have it and those who haven't or perhaps it doesn't really matter and we all just do our own thing.

What Korean skincare range do you use? It's mentioned twice in this thread. Are Korean skincare products deemed better then UK & US?

But I was happy before the skincare and I am happy now without botox but it will be nice to get it also, just like it's nice to get a new haircut or a new item of clothing or a new fragrance, its just the icing on the cake.

I think all the people who say that the people they know who have had botox/fillers are missing the point - I think the sheer number of women who are having tweakments is huge and the ones you notice are usually the ones who are over doing it.

I agree completely that skin care makes a huge difference - and retinol, vitamin C and decent exfoliating products as we age are game changers - and I wish more men would take this on board too. I'm encouraging teenage DS to think about his skincare in the same way that I do, and that DD is starting to. And I've finally got my elderly father using some protective treatments and it's helping!

Botox and fillers are not necessary, but if they make you feel better, go for it. I'm definitely (at 50) considering a few around my marionette lines that I feel have got a lot worse the last year or two and now I'm losing weight, I suspect it will continue to get worse. So perhaps this time next year I'l be in the botox/filler camp! I won't tell anyone though - except my BFF.

I would like to know this too, I did try Hada labo which is Japanese skincare but it dried my skin out.

A haircut is normal. New clothes are normal. But Botox is injecting bacterium/toxins into your skin to paralyse your muscles and "deform" your appearance! I just don't find them comparable.

Absolutely agree with everything you said! Men should be using sunscreen at the very least to protect themselves. Other stuff isn't essential especially not botox and filler but I agree that people are missing the point over botox and filler and that they are only seeing the bad work or those overdoing it as you say. I get it because previously I would have said the same thing but I think I'm being a bit more honest with myself now.

Agree with your post. However, if you don't mind me saying, I'd really avoid botox round the mouth. I too experimented and that was my only botox 'fail'. I was literally😏for 4 months. Apparantly its a common issue in this area because of variations in muscle strength the practitioner can't always assess accurately.
A little filler injected deeply does the job by scaffolding the skin and lasts longer too.

I use a mixture of Korean skincare care. It really depends on your skin type.

I use Anua and House of Joseon plus some products I ordered from Lengbox which is tailored to your skin type. I looked up what would suit my skin and went from there. My skin has improved, it’s clear and has less age marks. I’m really pleased.

You are changing up your critique here from a conversation about what brings people confidence to the fact that botox is unnatural. Lots of things are unnatural like hair dye, make up and many nail treatments all of which contain potentially toxic chemicals do you also eschew them and look down on those who do use them?

I don’t do tweakments and the like, just regular skin care, but I am thin and very toned. It is very very very very important to me to be skinny (it really is impossible to exaggerate how important!), I just don’t feel myself when I’m even slightly above my optimal weight, never mind confident

I don’t care if that makes me shallow or a worshipper of the patriarchy (or whatever bollocks people come out with), being skinny and toned makes me VERY happy.

And you should do what makes you happy in life. 😊

Yes, for every woman who looks like a fish, there are 2 who just look "normal"! There's a woman in my office who I worked out has had tweakments only because there is no way her skin is that good at her age! We've chatted about it subsequently.

@5128gap yes - my research also suggests that for mouth lines, filler is a better option which is what I'm considering. Botox seems to be a bit iffy in that area.

I’m sure you’re right that people who look after their skin generally, whether that’s through diet, lifestyle, good products or some other interventions, do look better.

However, sorry to be a negative Nellie, but as you get older you may find like many in my comfortably off peer group, that the money you’d otherwise have spent on such things is eaten up by dental care ( your perfect teeth can move with age) and even private health services such as GP, menopause, gynaecology or scans that are just not available at all, or not within sensible timescales, on the NHS. I’d recommend that all women approaching menopause who are able to do so, set aside some money for this type of thing.

There are many things I'd like to change about myself but I do have very good skin. I think people sometimes underestimate the benefits of exercise and a clean diet and look to treatments first. I workout every day and I would say my diet is 95% clean. I use Pears soap on my skin with a flannel, and moisturise with Aveeno Dermexa. Cheap and effective. I do use a decent SPF also.

I think everyone should be free to do with their own faces as they wish.
We're all going to age though. I'm accepting it as gracefully as I can and going down without a fight, because I was never attractive in my life so don't intend to start throwing money at my face now.

But if having things done makes you feel better about yourself - go for it.

Can any ladies share their favourite products? Particularly Korean skincare

I'm similar. I do ALL the right things. Excercise, whole foods diet, no alcohol, no stress, early nights etc.
Unfortunately the youthful body, healthy hair, energy etc that all that has given me makes me look like I've borrowed an older woman's face if I don't have the odd tweakment to bring it in line with the rest of me.

I did further up!

I do exercise and my diet is excellent. Pears soap I'm horribly allergic to although I think it smells lovely and enjoy the clean feeling of using soap and water my skin hates it though!

Or have private medical insurance like millions of people do already?

I'm sure genetics play a part and since I'm always doing some form of exercise I tend to have a nice healthy glow. I very rarely wear makeup either so do wonder if it is just better in general to put less 'stuff' on our faces, rather than more.

I receive regular compliments on my skin and how young and smooth and glowing it is. I'm in my mid 40s. These comments come from: a former colleague in her 60s who I meet for coffee, my hairdresser, friends of friends, friends, teachers, mums at school, my husband's mate's wives.

What do I use? Micellar water to take my makeup off. Lidl moisturiser.

I'm also chubby which I genuinely helps my face look smoother with plump cheeks. And people have trouble saying nice things about how fatter people look unless it's their (my) lovely skin.

I've never had a skin care routine - I just wash and I moisturise because my face feels tight and dry otherwise.

I've never had botox or fillers or facials - I can't afford them!

I think everyone is entitled to do what they want with their own faces.

I don't agree with your theory that people who spend the money and have complex routines look younger and better because I don't always know who's had what and who does what and because I've done none of those things and it turns out that genetics are on my side skin smoothness wise.

Also, I don't mind that I'm getting older, it's a privilege we don't all get. And wouldn't it be boring if we all looked the same.

Thanks for the heads up. I'll look into it some more.

I never really understand it when people say that they use Botox to make them themselves look fresher and less tired but not younger. Surely there is a reason you’re doing it in your 40s and 50s and not in your 20s?

Anyway OP, it is really common to get Botox now. We all do things that aren’t particularly ‘feminist’. I shave my armpits. I am in my mid 50s and won’t ever get any Botox done and only one of my friends gets it. I think we all look pretty great whatever we do! I would say they avoid lip filler though. That is the devil’s work ;-)

I do have good skin , no spots acne or anything and it’s smooth

But I have Botox every 4 months
tiny bit of lip filler twice a year
eyebrows shaped monthly
Infills on my eyelash every 10 days
Nails / infills every 2 weeks
pedicure every month.

I use cocoa butter as my main moisteriser

coco butter bronzer to give me a bit of healthy glow
and body shop caminole cleanser which is amazing stuff

i eat well keep my weight around 9stone
I don’t smoke and rarely drink

Im not aiming to look younger although i do look a lot younger than my age
I just want to look good & healthy and put together

when I do look my age or older is when I’m tired or stressed so I try to get a good nights sleep and avoid stress

See I disagree with this. I think older women who look their age are also visible and recognised in the culture, not just the young-looking women. The likes of TV presenter Mary Berry, historian Mary Beard, former prime minister Theresa May, journalist Kate Adie, photographer Annie Leibovitz, all women who have aged naturally but who are successful in their respective fields and are in the public eye.

There’s a tendency to focus on Hollywood and “celebrities” - a culture which has always been image conscious - when there are many other areas of public life.