To name all of your children after your ex husband

[Caterpillarhopping]

I made a discovery about someone I've been friends with a couple of years. She has 4 children. I know her through work and we get on well but I've never known the ins and outs of her life. It came up today that she was married to her eldest child's Dad and took his surname so eldest daughter is Katie "Blogs". She went on to have 3 more children each by different men. She retained her married surname and gave that to each of the children. Second child only has the "Blogs" surname, the one after that is double barrelled and the 4th Blogs.

I sort of understand Mums logic, that she kept the same name as the eldest child (& it's absolutely not my business) but Is it not a touch weird to be sporting your ex husbands name 20 years later and have lots of children named after a man that's nothing to do with them,?

Oh ok, apologies. I haven't been charged a fee anywhere so wasn't aware it was a thing.

I (wrongly) assumed you meant that it cost money to do the deep poll, which an awful lot of people believe to be the case.

I agree v odd

No sorry I could have been more clear - I changed my name in February and a few places had an admin fee to issue new documents etc. Can't remember which places now - maybe my car insurance? A mid-term adjustment charge or something? Sorry it was a year ago, so can't quite remember. Yes people do believe that myth, you're right. Only thing I didn't change was my passport - it's got another two years to go (three at the time) and I didn't want to cough up almost £100 when it's still got some use in it!

No. Louder for those in the back...she gave them HER NAME.

Somebody I know, kept her ex husband's name after divorce. Then the second husband took her ex's name on and double barreled it with his own... Each to own I suppose?!

Was he actually married to the posters mum. Obviously she had kids with him but doesn't say if they were married or not

Her ex husband’s name, on the assumption she married her later children’s father.

WHICH BECAME HER NAME.

How are you so confused by this?

My mum did the same. I love that I share part of my surname with my brothers.

I’m confused as to why someone would take their husband’s name, divorce and then when marrying again; not take her current husband’s name, but retain the first one’s.
There’s a distinct lack of consistency there, don’t you think?
If HER NAME was so important to her, you’d imagine she wouldn’t have ditched the original one so readily.

Who said she married again? You've made that up - the OP didn't say that she was remarried to any of the other children's fathers.

I agree there is a distinct lack of consistency - in you applying your 'rules' to a situation that doesn't exist!

Which of the three non-married father's names should she be using now? Dying to hear...

Oh dear. Who knew such a simple concept would confuse people so much.
The person in question did not marry again. But that's irrelevant.

I'm not sure how much clearer I can explain this. If I change my name for any reason, it's now my name. By marriage, by deed poll, by adoption, it doesn't matter. Once I take the name, it's mine.

So obviously, I can give MY NAME to my children. It doesn't matter where I got MY NAME from, be it parents, husband, made up by me, it's mine. So it's my childrens name.

I really don't understand why you can't grasp this.

Is not about renting or borrowing. It’s the simple fact that the only reason my name changed to Eastie Brown is because I married a man called Brown. So by definition, I took HIS name. Otherwise I could have married him and called myself Eastie <whatever>. You literally hear women say “I took my husband’s name when I got married” Why would anyone say that if it was not universally recognised that the name you change to when you marry belongs to your husband?

If you divorce him, you can of course keep his name and decide it’s yours. But what is puzzling me is the argument that if you enter into a new relationship and have a child with another man, it is completely normal to give that child the name of your ex who has nothing to do with the baby rather than the biological father’s name. Just so you and the baby have the same surname. It doesn’t make sense!

Your posts are ridiculously patronising 😬
I can grasp it perfectly well, my post was (and it was clearly stated actually, what did you have trouble grasping?) written on the assumption that the lady in question had married again.
This may or may not have been the case.

It wasn't the case - reading the thread shows that - you based your argument on something that wasn't the case. So... what's your opinion now?!

I know a girl who used to work with someone called Derek who called his kids Derek Matthew, Derek John, Derek Luke, and Derek Mark (like the gospels).

Now THAT was weird - OP however oh well it’s not that remarkable….

Well I guess there as families in America who use the same name with the number after it - Eminem is Marshall Mathers III after all! Although that tends to be down the generations as opposed to siblings.

I didn’t make anything up - see @Checkenberger ’s post at 15.35.
I asked her did her Dad not get a say, and someone else asked why he should have?
I wasn’t referring to op.

How weird of me to think that you would be referring to the OP who started this thread and asked the question.

You responded to my posts? They were clearly addressing another poster, that wasn’t hidden from you, it’s right there in the quote.
Maybe read properly before jumping on people in future?

Not clear from your later posts jumping all over other people actually. You kept up your argument as a generalist assumption and later on it wasn't in response to anyone expect those who disagreed with you. Perfectly capable of reading thanks - also very much did not jump on you. It's called 'asking questions'.

The the second husband took HER name on and double barrelled it with his own. It's irrelevant where she got her name from.

I have a friend that changed her name to her first husband's name and has kept it the same even after remarriage. The name goes well with her first name and she likes it. The fact she changed it once on marriage doesn't mean she had to change it again on the second marriage at all.

No she didn’t . She gave them HER EX’S name

But it was still her name too, what name should she have given them?