To name all of your children after your ex husband

[Caterpillarhopping]

I made a discovery about someone I've been friends with a couple of years. She has 4 children. I know her through work and we get on well but I've never known the ins and outs of her life. It came up today that she was married to her eldest child's Dad and took his surname so eldest daughter is Katie "Blogs". She went on to have 3 more children each by different men. She retained her married surname and gave that to each of the children. Second child only has the "Blogs" surname, the one after that is double barrelled and the 4th Blogs.

I sort of understand Mums logic, that she kept the same name as the eldest child (& it's absolutely not my business) but Is it not a touch weird to be sporting your ex husbands name 20 years later and have lots of children named after a man that's nothing to do with them,?

not really, because it’s her name now. Not named after her ex

I thought you were going to say 1st name. They have the same last name as her - perfectly normal. My kids don't have my last name - I would say that is more odd

It’s her name, if she’s happy then that’s the end of it surely?

It’s hers, and their name! Do you think you shouldn’t have same surname as your mum?

I imagined 4 Malcom’s aged between 3 and 12.

That's what I thought! 4 baby Keiths....

Though I am disappointed you haven’t meant they’re called

Billy-Bob, John-Bob, Sarah-Bob and Bob-Bob 😔

I know someone who got married and the husband and wife joined their names to be double barrelled then they divorced and the husband remarried and the new wife took the double barrelled name - I thought that was extremely odd!

I agree with you OP. I find that really strange too

That would have been a much better story. Haha!

It's just me then. I think it's a bit odd to keep your exes surname and use it on subsequent children.

I once knew a student named Angus John Nobby Furlonger. I thought maybe they were named after him.

Personally I think it's odder you think this name is just her ex husband's name, it's her name. I really don't see why you'd think it was weird.

It’s not her ex husbands name, it’s her name. If that is what she has chosen. Which it seems she has. After that point, no, it isn’t weird to want your children to have your name (and the same name as each other).
What is weird, however, is to care so much (no matter how you dress it up) that you start a thread on social media about it.

She didn’t name them after her ex husband, she just gave them her surname which she decided not to change.

My half DB had my Dad’s surname until Dad died when DB was 12. Dad’s partner kept her ex-husband’s name after their divorce. When Dad died, she changed my brother’s surname to her (and her ex’s) surname. I know my dad would have been completely devastated.

At the same time I understand her wanting to share a name with her son. However, if she was really the grieving widow she pretended to be, she could easily have changed her name to my Dad’s and her son’s name.

When she got married to her ex-H it became her name. She gave all four of her children her name. She double-barrelled some of her children’s names but it’s still her name.

What’s the non-weird situation in this scenario? She changed her name back to her maiden name (and if her married name isn’t her name, neither is her maiden name because it’s her dad’s name) and have all four kids with a different surname to her? She’s a single parent to four kids and none are allowed her name, she’s not even allowed her name.

One of my uncles was married when he was very young and split quite amicably with his ex wife after a couple of years, she kept his surname. His ex wife kept vaguely in touch with my nan (sent Christmas cards, this was a good few years ago!) and a good long time after they split she had a son, I don't know the exact circumstances but she hadn't got married again and her son had the surname she kept when she'd split from my uncle, which after all that time I suppose was as much her name as anything. My nan had 5 sons, so always found it surprising that the only continuation of the family surname was the son of my uncle' ex, who is no actual relation but has the surname!

So in short - she's not the only person to do it, I suppose once she took and kept her ex's name it felt like hers, so made sense to pass it on to her kids?

Women just get to borrow names not own them?

It's hers and her daughter's family name - why wouldn't her children have her surname?

Sorry that’s fucking bonkers

Why is it bonkers? It's her name?

I find it really weird actually. I have a different surname to my kids as they have my husbands name and I didn’t bother changing mine .

It's not his name.
It's her name.
She changed her name so now it's hers.
Why should she have to change her name?

Yeah I was expecting Malcolm, Malachi, Malania and Malandra after her ex bf Malcolm even though the kids Dad is Steve, sort of thing. I'm disappointed

I read an article last week about a couple that named all four of their daughters Mary. That's weirder that retaining her married name I guess.

I can see why you think it's odd, it does sound a wee bit odd but that's her name now so...