Pregnant. Just found messages to another woman behind my back…

[Cwoffeelover1]

Waiting until tomorrow when he goes to work to lock him out the house as he won’t leave. So in the meantime he’s fallen asleep and I’ve poured tuna juice in all his favourite designer shoes if he wants to go out looking for fishy fanny he can do it smelling like one. Has anyone else done anything in revenge like this? He also said he knew I was a slag from the first day I met him.. deflecting behaviour (I’ve never looked at another man since the day we met)

Goodness.

I know. I can’t even believe this is my life. Honestly :(

I’d be careful of retaliation . I’m sorry you are going through this. Legally are you allowed to lock him out?

🤔

How long have you been with him?

Yes. I’d like to think so we’re on a joint tenancy he’s got addiction issues and I’ve been advised in the past to ring the police and they’d remove him.

This is awful and I am so sorry, but please try to think with a clear head. I don't think retaliatory acts will help right now, you might feel better in the short term but it could escalate things and as you're pregnant you have even more of an impetus to keep things as calm as possible (even if you are raging inside which I totally understand - I ended my marriage because my ex cheated too). Can you legally lock him out of the house? You can't if he is an equal owner/renter unless you are in danger and have done so under the advice of the police.

13 years but on and off for the past 2

Whose house is jt

.

Joint tenancy

Why are you with this horrible man? Divorce

Yes you are right. I think the hormones are driving my rage as well which isn’t helping at all I’m just so hurt right now and feel lost xx

I know your 100% right leaving has been a long time coming but then I found myself pregnant and since I just feel more venerable about being alone and more emotional about it I already have 2 children to look after and worry how I will cope xx

How pregnant are you? Are you planning to continue the pregnancy?

You need a court order if its a joint tenancy, you can call the police if you're in danger and the landlord could maybe evict him if he has addiction issues. Are you married? Can you manage financially without him, he sounds bloody awful.

Oh OP deep breaths, I’m sorry this is happening

try and stay as calm as you can, for the baby if nothing else. Do you have a friend or relative that can offload to?

how far along in the pregnancy are you?

So he has addiction issues and you have previously been advised to call the police and get him removed … I’d say he wasn’t winning a partner of the year award before you got pregnant and found out he was cheating.

I completely understand, it's such an awful situation and when they try and somehow deflect the blame back to you it also makes the anger increase because you think: "WTF?! You're in the wrong here, you're not the injured party, how dare you?!" I remember my ex saying - many years later to a mutual friend - that it had been down to his immaturity that he behaved the way he did. He was 30! Hardly in the first flush of youth! Sending lots of hugs as it sounds like you need them. He is a prize arsehole and I am so, so sorry. Lean on us on here as much as you need. You may feel lost - but you are definitely not alone. Xxx

I’m all for petty revenge but you lost me at fishy fanny tbh.

How many weeks pregnant are you ?

Neither has right to the house.
You can't lock him out forever, you have equal rights.
Seek advice, and try to relax - you dont need retaliation - even if it is something my younger self would have done.
Once cut the big toe out of all an exs socks - that was not a healthy relationship!

So sorry this has happened but hopefully it will give you the impetus to split for good. Be careful with the revenge tactics - while understandable, it's rarely a good idea to act out of anger. You will need to keep a cool clear head to deal with this. Firstly, I would check with your landlord before locking him out if you're joint tenants. If he becomes aggressive or threatening, call the police.

He’s in the wrong however with the “fishy fanny” remark, and you bringing a child into the world with an addict you’ve had to call the police on, and been “on and off for 2 years” with, I don’t think either of you come across particularly well or classy. It’s the child I ultimately sorry for.

I hope his shoes stink for all eternity the bastard.