Social time for sending WhatsApp messages

[Olive42]

Do you think there is a reasonable time window for sending WhatsApp or similar messages to people? When I was brought up pre-digital era in the 80s/90s, I was taught you should not call someone before 9am or after 9pm for example, barring an emergency or very close relationship!

I find I have time to answer a few messages early am (like now, around 6) but don’t as it feels anti-social.

I know - they could have their phone on silent overnight but equally might not. Small issue but what do you think, please?

I suspect that more people would think you a twat for choosing not to use DND and then complaining about getting messages

No. Family and friends know about my routines. They know about my autism and ocd, they know they can contact me between 7:30am and 11pm. Expecting everyone to use do not disturb is weird to me. Why should I have to put my phone on silent? I already have it set to vibrate only for calls. Is it really that difficult for you to understand that some people don't want to receive messages about random shite at the crack of dawn? Or that not everyone wants to completely silence their phone all night?

I generally don’t send messages after about 10pm or before 6am, but I’m not bothered when people message me. As long as it’s not a bloody monologue. One message, fine. 15 in a row with an ongoing saga, no, that’s annoying and I don’t need my phone lighting up constantly all night. My phone is always on silent though.

Only thing is if people message me during the night, the chances of me glancing at it at 3am and then never remembering to reply is high.

There's a huge difference between calling someone at an unsociable hour and sending a text (or WhatsApp message).

Personally my phone is always on silent but I get notifications of calls and texts on my smart watch. I put that on sleep mode every evening so would only get a buzz on my wrist if the people I've designated call or message me, so I don't worry about missing anything important.

My husband doesn't have a smart watch but because he leaves his phone in the kitchen overnight (do people really have their phones in their bedrooms?) he won't be woken by a message coming in while he's asleep.

There's absolutely no reason that anyone should be concerned about sending a message outside business hours. I believe it's the responsibility of the recipient to set things up how they want so as not to be disturbed.

That's fine, but that doesn't make people who feel differently and send messages whenever twats.

I only respond to messages between 8ish in the morning and 10ish at night. People can message me whenever they like, I don't care as it doesn't disturb me as my phone is always on silent. I often get messages from my mum at 1am as she's a night owl, and retired!

I didn't say it does. If my family or friends did that then yes, they would be twats. They know when not to contact me and if they did it anyway, that would make them a twat.

I didn't say everyone who does it is a twat. I answered the question op asked using my personal circumstances. I couldn't care less if you message people at that time, but you felt the need to have a go at me anyway

You didn't say anything about just referring to your friends and family 🤷‍♀️. Sorry I misunderstood though. And I didn't have a go at you?

My phone is always on silent so it doesn’t matter when people send me message. I often wake to a load of WhatsApp messages that have come through while I’ve been asleep.

I don't understand why people have to keep sending messages in the first place? Is it necessary.

People like to talk to each other. It’s a social thing. No it’s not ‘necessary’, but many things in life aren’t necessary. It’s not really necessary to have friends at all, is it?
I am in a few WhatsApp groups with friends, we send messages because we like chatting with each other.

But this is a general discussion about sending WhatsApps.

Like pps, I am in WhatsApp Chats with loads of people. There is no possible way to know what times each of them get up / go to bed / what shift they are one / when they are in a meeting / when they are at the theatre / when they are at a funeral / when they are in the Dr's waiting room / when they are driving.

But, it doesn't matter, because it is up to each recipient to manage how and when they get their messages.

That might be turning your data/ wifi off.
It might be leaving phone in another room / in your car boot
It might be turning off notifications - which in itself could be done just whilst you don't want to be disturbed, or it could be you never have notifications on.
It might be using dnd
It might be the annoying person sitting in your meeting with notifications going off.

There's lots of ways to not receive notifications at times that don't suit you, or, you can risk being disturbed by them, but whatever you choose, it is your choice.

Thank you for all the replies.

It seems to be quite mixed overall with a slight majority saying that it is up to the individual to silence their phone or have DND on.

I would only message close friends and family who I know are early risers early in the morning and for acquaintances and work groups would tend to stick to my general 8 to 9 or thereabouts rule just in case.

Am I not allowed to have my own opinions? Everyone on this thread had said how they feel about it.

I'd be better just hiding this thread. I seem to be getting questioned for not agreeing with the majority.

People are disagreeing with you because you don’t seem to grasp that you take responsibility for when and how you see your messages. You manage your OCD.

It seems to be quite mixed overall with a slight majority saying that it is up to the individual to silence their phone or have DND on.

"slight majority ???

It seems to me there are very few posters who think everyone should remember their individual 'acceptable' times for receiving messages, and refrain from sending messages when it is convenient for the sender, but to only send them when it might be acceptable to the recipient.

I honestly send any time. If your phone isn’t on silent, that’s a you problem 😂 Actyally that’s a lie as I’m awake a lot in the night with insomnia so I don’t send then but wouldn’t think twice about relying tk someone at 6am if I got a message at night that I hadn’t read until then.

I wouldn't phone anyone early in the morning or past 9pm unless it was an emergency but will WhatsApp at all hours and expect people to read and reply at a time that suits them. I think that it's only rude if you expect people to read and reply immediately.

I'm in loads of WhatsApp groups. People send messages at all times of day and night and nobody has ever expressed annoyance.

Anytime is fine. My phone is on DND when I go to bed anyway. I don’t want to get woken up by rain setting off the doorbell camera or whatever others notifications arrive at bizarre times.

You can message on WhatsApp at anytime surely like sending an email? People check when it’s convenient for them

Looking back through, yes most people are indeed saying anytime is fine (I’d had a 12 hour work shift so just did a quick scan of messages) and it is the individual’s responsibility to have their phone on silent or DND which is great but call me old fashioned - I am still going to follow my self-imposed timings with groups of acquaintances eg school groups, work groups etc… 😊I just like it as it helps me with boundaries, if nothing else.

Maybe not with the zeitgeist but it’s personal preference and what works for you and your groups.

Thanks for replying. It’s interesting to read habits and think of social norms and how they change with tech. I am trying to be less attached to my phone in general and not to feel I have to answer things straight away.