Social time for sending WhatsApp messages

[Olive42]

Do you think there is a reasonable time window for sending WhatsApp or similar messages to people? When I was brought up pre-digital era in the 80s/90s, I was taught you should not call someone before 9am or after 9pm for example, barring an emergency or very close relationship!

I find I have time to answer a few messages early am (like now, around 6) but don’t as it feels anti-social.

I know - they could have their phone on silent overnight but equally might not. Small issue but what do you think, please?

Can you see any downsides to just writing a friend off as being "a twat" for behaviour that most people on this thread think is fine?

It's your phone, and the settings you have chosen cause it to make a noise when a message arrives, at whatever time of day or night that is. That's your issue.

Honestly, objecting to people sending messages at "unsociable" times is like being annoyed at your friend because the postie delivered your birthday card, causing your dog to bark when you were having a nap.

I'm in WhatsApp groups with hundreds of people (neighbourhood groups, a class group for each child, groups for work, groups for hobbies, etc). I can't expect them all to psychically know when I want to receive messages!

I have friends in different time zones and they are muted.

As is the friend who is an early riser and sends 8am on a Saturday msgs.

You should only wake me once, you would be muted then!

You can always message yourself and then just copy and paste and send later if you are unsure.

That's just weird sorry, they're not ringing you are they? Message just sits there. OP sounds very old fashioned in hours approach , it's totally different to ringing someone

If someone is too dopey to turn off their phone notifications or set up a DND overnight, that’s on them. I have no issue with being sent WhatsApps at any hour, and will respond when convenient, like most people.

I'm like others and have dnd on and just reply to messages when I'm ready so logically it shouldn't bother me - but I was surprised the other week to receive a message from a school mum friend at 7:30am asking if we wanted to meet up the following day. It didn't annoy me exactly (and I replied soon after), just found it an odd time even though I'd been up a while... strangely if she'd messaged at 11pm the night before I wouldn't have batted an eyelid (even though I'd have been in bed).

Well I’m a very very old woman and I have all my chats on archive, apart from my children and husband….so anyone else, I’ll answer them when I answer them! Yes even when I was working. But then I remember and come from a world where we weren’t “on call” 24/7

i'm normally catching up on friend admin about 10pm of an eve!! If you don't want to get messages late or early, use DND.

I don't use DND but i also have zero issues with messages any time of day/night

All hours because whatsapp is now like emails where you just read when you want. Unless someone has whatsapp sounds on loud, youre not disturbing them like you would with a call.

Exactly, I don't know why people get in such a pickle over whatapp - answer when you have the time and capacity

Yes, there is still a reasonable window, it’s just softer now. Most people treat 9am–9pm as the polite expectation for replies. Messages can be sent earlier, but many still feel pressure when they see them. Your instinct not to message at 6am is considerate, not outdated. A simple “no rush” or waiting till later is perfectly reasonable.

Maybe it’s a generational thing. Millenials have phones perpetually on silent so it would never occurr to me to message at a specific time. My mother likes to do it when she knows we’re awake which I always find amusing.

I have my phone on silent but I’d still not send a message until 7am or after 11pm.

One of my favourite things is when I can’t sleep/up with kids in the night or up early and someone has messaged. I like to think a friend feels they can message whenevr, especially if theyre feeling low in the night or something.

The beauty of messaging is that people can read and answer at their own convenience. Especially social messaging.

However... I don't like my DC getting emails from teachers outside of "working hours". And i won't send an email to a teacher at that time. But thats more I don't think teachers should be working at 6.30am (there's one that regularly messages at that time). Presumably they must prefer doing it then than in the evenings, but it does feel a little odd..

The posts on here show the variety of what is considered a reasonable to message. That's why I use DND.

I am from the same era and never had this 9am -9pm only rule.

I only message family and we all do at any time of day/night. None of us have our phone volume on but it’s set to override in case we need to call in an emergency which means we can send texts without disturbing anyone. I work early shifts so often message the family chat at 5am, DD works shifts so can be as late as 2am. We answer at our leisure.

I have a cut off time of 10pm, my phone goes on silent and only my mum or relatives calls come through if an emergency. I am part of a whatsapp group and sometimes they will randomly start messaging as I'm starting to get ready for bed. I ignore them, even if one person starts wondering why I'm not answering at 10:30pm and tries private messaging me instead!

I don't care when people message me. My phone is set to Do Not Disturb at night and I reply to messages when I feel like it.

Just crack on, it's not a problem these days

Anyone I know who has a smartphone (ie everyone) puts it on DND or silent overnight.

So anytime is acceptable to message, as it is for emails.
Phone calls, yes, stick to reasonable times (9am-10pm, maybe earlier in the evening if they have small children etc).

But the whole point of messaging and email is that they are asynchronous, so send time and read time and reply time are all independent.

This basically.

I wonder how many people here are of a generation where it was almost compulsory to have your phone on the loudest possible ringer so that all your friends could know you had one ?

The beauty of messaging is that people can read and answer at their own convenience.

Exactly.

Imagine So the corollary is that any company* that doesn't work by email is wasting your time so they can make money.

*Includes government and council departments too.

I'm not on any group chats with neighbours or school mums. My friends and family are the only people who have my number. I have my own reasons for not having my phone on silent.

Nobody would call for a quick catchup at 6am or phone with something mundane. Sending a message at that time is equally annoying. There is no downside

I am always up mega early, but I never what’s app anyone before 8am, unless I know they are an early riser too and I can see they’ve been online. So I follow same rules as I would for calls.