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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I cannot stand watching my child do dance /shows !

263 replies

5490t · 31/01/2026 18:26

Now I know what I put my parents through when I was a kid (which they also agree with ) and how mind numbingly boring it was for them to endure. My 12 year old regularly shows me dances /songs/ shows anything drama she's created with her self/ her siblings god it's so mind numbing to sit and entertain.
I know I'm being unreasonable but nope can't stand that part of parenting anyone else with me ?

OP posts:
neverbeenskiing · 31/01/2026 22:34

How long does this really take up of your time in practice?

You'd be surprised. My kids will frequently ask me to watch a show they've made up and once it gets going it becomes clear that they've discussed the initial premise and who their characters are going to be but have then got distracted with costumes, props, music etc and quite forgotten to work out the actual plot. The result is freeform improvisation that meanders on and on for an eternity as they neither of them know how to end the bloody thing. I've learned now as soon as I hear "muuuuum, can we do a show for you?" to respond immediately with "yes but not until you've worked out your ending!"

Imaginingdragonsagain · 31/01/2026 22:47

Does she do dance at a club and do shows there? I used to love watching my dd’s made up dance shows but that probably stopped by the time she was 7 ish and she did annual dance shows at a club from 4 onwards. Loved watching her, still do. Am biased but she is a good dancer. Having said that I like it much better when I also like the music!

Imaginingdragonsagain · 31/01/2026 22:49

I should add that she was also a perfectionist so it would be a highly rehearsed approx 3 minute show. Not like an hour or anything!

Imaginingdragonsagain · 31/01/2026 22:51

JoannaTheYodelingCowgirl · 31/01/2026 21:58

Myself i think theres too much pressure on parents to pat their kids on the back and kiss their feet for every single thing they do

I just think if the kids like doing dance, gymnastics, sports thats great and you go ahead and do it, but just because im your mum doesnt mean IM going to share the same passion

Surely as a parent you should encourage them in their passion? And enjoy watching them do what they love? Having said that I’ve seen parents take an excessive interest in their passion (especially for talented kids) and keep pushing longer after the kids want to quit!

gillefc82 · 31/01/2026 22:55

I think it depends on if any of the ‘shows’ are any good?

My DH’s Cousin’s son is the young child actor from Adolescence. Owen had always been sporty (he’d previously been on the books at Everton’s Academy) and was always a shy, quiet young lad, so it was quite surprising when he essentially ‘fell into’ acting. Thankfully, he was supported by his parents all the way, with no pressure and zero expectations, just encouragement to keep doing something he enjoyed and showed some innate talent in. And here we are in 2026, he’s the winner of multiple prestigious industry awards, an upcoming role alongside Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi in a Hollywood Blockbuster and a number of other projects on the pipeline.

I think for me I’d say if your kid is objectively awful (off key singing/no rhythm/timing in dancing/emoting as much as a wooden fence panel when acting etc), I think it’s actually more harmful to lie to them and give them a false sense of their abilities. I’d be trying to encourage them into exploring other activities that may be better suited to their skills, whilst not completely trampling their self confidence obviously!

However, if they do have some potential in acting/dancing/singing, I’d be looking into clubs/coaches etc to encourage and foster their raw talent. Our Owen is a shining example of just what can be achieved…

PardonThePoison · 31/01/2026 22:56

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DrJump · 31/01/2026 23:00

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That's so lovely to hear.

VaccineSticker · 31/01/2026 23:00

5490t · 31/01/2026 20:39

Oh no I don't mean school or drama club shows! These are just dances shes made up at home or songs she already knows but wants to show me she can sing to them 🤦

Support her by showing interest. Harness her talents and passions, you don’t know what they’ll lead to.

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 31/01/2026 23:01

Book them into theatre groups?

GetAbsOrDieTrying · 31/01/2026 23:17

Yes, when all the cousins get together there is often a play or a dance! 🤣 We prefer the dances as they are quicker and a bit more entertaining. The plays are awful and mind numbing. 😩 So we try to coax them to do a dance which is better for the parents and grandparents! 😂

explanationplease · 31/01/2026 23:51

My kids used to act out bedtime stories, after a long working day for me, too. I did sometimes hurry them up. But now they’re adults we all have such fond memories of that time.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 31/01/2026 23:59

Bunnycat101 · 31/01/2026 21:34

Mine did a spa for me once. Started out petty well- they’d put meditation music on, got me to lie down and put cucumber in my eyes and put a face mask on. They then decided to try their version of a massage and it was like being attacked by some crazy ninjas. It bloody hurt but I had two of them sitting on me so couldn’t actually get them off me easily.

This is a wonderful thread! 🤣🤣🤣

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:02

JoannaTheYodelingCowgirl · 31/01/2026 21:52

I hate modern dance. DD10 LOVES it though. she said to me she looks forward to joining a dance club in year 7 when she starts high school next year and asked if I'd come to watch her in the school performance if she got in. I just looked at her and I told her
"evie i love you, but i am not paying the school to watch 10 other bratty kids flail about when i already see you do it enough at home"

It didnt go down wellGrin

My mum and dad only had to watch one Highland Dancing exhibition. I was rubbish at it and - no doubt to the relief of the instructor - gave up after a year.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:04

ThinkingAbout2026 · 31/01/2026 21:54

I totally understand. My DD played hockey (and still does as an adult), which was many years standing on the sideline of a freezing cold pitch in the gales/rain, wearing all your Woolies, then offering sympathy and a bag of frozen peas whenever she got a bruise after being hit. When she got her license, I only came to the matches when the sun was shinning, absolute bliss!! If that is of any comfort. Good job we love them!

To add insult to injury, dh worked weekends so it was always me, he got to ferry her to swimming, drama etc during the week and sit indoors.

Edited

My dad had to do all the ferrying about when I participated in concerts and competitions on the grounds that he was the only family member strong enough to carry the.....thoughts and prayers for the Weary family please.... piano accordion.

JellyCatOnAHotTinRoof · 01/02/2026 00:06

Ahh, the “shows.”

My now 13 and 12yos were mad about these from the age of about 3 and 4. Eventually, I said they had to be properly prepared and rehearsed or I wouldn’t watch. I took this seriously, if I sat down to watch a “show” and one of them started bossing the other or saying the other had done it wrong, or if one of them clearly didn’t know what was supposed to happen next, I’d just leave. This did improve the quality of production I had to sit through.

My youngest is 7 and never went through this phase.

I feel a little bad now, maybe I shamed the creativity out of them?! Bit, as much as Iov my children, I don’t need to watch them Play pretend for long sessions.

LBFseBrom · 01/02/2026 00:07

I get it. I had it nearly all my child's life :-). Concerts in the garden included. Sometimes it's great but if it is obsessive and constant, becomes a bit much.

He is now a successful professional musician. Thanks his parents for always giving encouragement :-).

Good luck.

wandawaves · 01/02/2026 00:08

5490t · 31/01/2026 20:39

Oh no I don't mean school or drama club shows! These are just dances shes made up at home or songs she already knows but wants to show me she can sing to them 🤦

Awww she sounds awesome. You will miss it one day OP!

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:09

5490t · 31/01/2026 20:39

Oh no I don't mean school or drama club shows! These are just dances shes made up at home or songs she already knows but wants to show me she can sing to them 🤦

My mum used to make me play my accordion for visitors.

Reader, my tutor favoured classical music. (This went down like a lead balloon in the Kingdom of Fife, domain of the late, great Jimmy Shand.)

Most of our relatives were polite, however.

ETA I'm thinking of saving up to pay reparations.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:12

Pancakeflipper · 31/01/2026 20:54

I cringe at remembering doing mini dance shows for my grandma. She had been a ballet dancer prior to getting married. And there was me on her kitchen lino, lumping around ungraceful in my dungarees. She was very enthusiastic about my efforts.

My pals and I used to do ballet for our mums. I have knock knees and flat feet.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:16

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/01/2026 22:04

Karate for my DS - Saturday , Wednesday and some Sundays which was a longer day . Add in the travelling time too .

One of his clubs , parents were expected to sit and watch , it is noisy , you cannot chat to other parents as it distracts the students .

And you get to wash a manky karate suit after !

My late husband took up karate in his 50s. I used to accompany him to tournaments. Love is a wondrous thing.

God bless the man, he insisted on washing and ironing his karate suit himself.

He actually came third in a senior kata competition and got his black belt in his 60s.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/02/2026 00:20

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:16

My late husband took up karate in his 50s. I used to accompany him to tournaments. Love is a wondrous thing.

God bless the man, he insisted on washing and ironing his karate suit himself.

He actually came third in a senior kata competition and got his black belt in his 60s.

Edited

Were you never tempted to join in?

I quite liked watching my DS , he was only 4 when he started ( got his first coloured belt at 5 ) most of all the way they listen and behave .
He was knackered and achy when he came home , hot bath and arnica rub.

But I went home with a headache from the noise of a busy class Grin

WearyAuldWumman · 01/02/2026 00:27

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/02/2026 00:20

Were you never tempted to join in?

I quite liked watching my DS , he was only 4 when he started ( got his first coloured belt at 5 ) most of all the way they listen and behave .
He was knackered and achy when he came home , hot bath and arnica rub.

But I went home with a headache from the noise of a busy class Grin

When I was a student at Glasgow Uni, in a fit of enthusiasm during Freshers' Week, I joined the uni karate club.

The first few weeks we just practised doing a block and punch. Then a black belt accidentally kicked me in the arse.

The following week I was on my period and went to see this new film called "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". I'm afraid that I never went back to the karate club.

I am really very bad at watching and copying movement. I went to the gym instead - at least when you're training on your own, you can't muck it up for others. Also - knock knees and flat feet...

I was finally told over a year ago that I have patella alta. This, apparently, is a partial explanation as to why my knees keep threatening to dislocate and why I've always been really shit at sports.

As soon as the time machine is invented, I'm going to go back to my old school and share my diagnosis with my P.E. teachers.

Friendlygingercat · 01/02/2026 02:47

When I was at school I was in a few performances (plays, musical evenings etc) and it was my grandmother who always attended to support me. We had a very close relationship and she was more of a mentor than my own parents. She did not hesitate to be critical when I didnt do my best and that made me try harder. However she was not into participating in imaginitive games and I learned to play alone with my dolls and other toys when I was young. As I grew older I often played with younger neighbouring kids and often invented the games and scenarios we enacted. I particularly enjoyed dress up games.

nolongersurprised · 01/02/2026 03:35

itsgettingweird · 31/01/2026 20:07

Oh I love going to swim meets.

If a club meet I TM but ds is a para swimmer so I have to hold him on the blocks too - so get a good view of all the racing! If national meets I spend my time trying to hide from the you tube camera 🤣

I also live the social side - can talk to other parents at swim meets whereas at a show there is silence!!!

When one of my DDs gave up competitive swimming I was sad too - I didn’t miss the very early morning wake ups but I loved swim meets.

My children’s high school does a 4 1/2 hour music concert at the end of the year. The main music teacher loves jazz - I do not love jazz and there’s a LOT of jazz.

Simonjt · 01/02/2026 06:28

itsgettingweird · 31/01/2026 19:10

Don’t let him become a swimmer.

you have to go to competitions to watch them swim 1 length in less than 30 seconds 🤣 and you’re there for longer than 2 hours!

He does rugby too, although that ones my fault, I’m a rugby player, so he spent most of his early years either by a pitch asleep in his pushchair or sat with coach.

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