Stay-at-home dad

[MRROWE]

Do you think it's a good idea to give up a well-paid job in order to stay at home and take care of the kids as a full time father?

This.

So many SAHDs don't, and their wives are working and doing quite a bit more housework & parenting than their husbands would if roles were reversed.

I've seen it in my family - very high earning wife, who still does the majority of the parenting admin, and organises the housekeeper and schools and so on. She's endlessly capable, but it exhausts her.

It’d be pretty hard to do it without giving up the job, so yes it’s a good idea.

How does your partner feel about being the sole breadwinner? I'm the main earner in our family, but I wouldn't like it if DH gave up work altogether and left me to be solely responsible for earning to support the family. It isn't so much about the money - we can quite comfortably live on my income alone - but I wouldn't really want the pressure of feeling like I was carrying that burden alone.

I think you also need to think about the longer term. What will happen to your own career when your kids get older? What provisions are you making for your own pension etc. I wouldn't advise a woman to give up her financial independence and so I wouldn't advise it for a man either.

But if you and your partner are both happy with the arrangements, and you have put appropriate plans in place for the longer term and any unforeseen circumstances (e.g. life insurance/income protection etc), then I think it's every bit as valid to have s SAHD as it is to have a SAHM. Even though I would personally prefer a relationship where everything is split more equally.

I'm really glad to hear that you've managed to find a good balance between family life and work. To be honest, many families struggle to achieve this. Apart from sharing similar values, couples also need plenty of communication. We all hope to contribute fairly to the family. However, fairness is only relative. When everyone is exhausted, even something as small as taking out the rubbish can become a source of disagreement.My wife has always been very supportive of me. She knows how much effort I put into our family. On most matters, we see eye to eye, but occasionally we do have different opinions, especially when it comes to our child's education. As for our plan, we're not planning to stay out of work forever. Once our child starts kindergarten, I intend to look for part-time job first, and then gradually move on full-time work or explore other ways of earning an income.

DS was stay at home for 8 years until the third one started school. I would say it depends on whether you can afford it and on the strength of your relationship with your partner. I would also add that it can be quite lonely - no mums invited him to go for coffee after school drop off. Personally, i found being a SAHM to one baby very boring. With two, i was too busy to notice.

Going back to focus on family means giving up most of social activities, because my days are mostly filled with countless small chores. On top of that, I can't get enough sleep –fatigue and loneliness are constant companies. On average, I only get about five to six hours of sleep each night, and sometimes even less.

Going back to focus on family means giving up most of social activities, because my days are mostly filled with countless small chores. On top of that, I can't get enough sleep –fatigue and loneliness are constant companies. On average, I only get about five to six hours of sleep each night, and sometimes even less.

You're preaching to the choir. This is the life of a parent. This is Mumsnet, we know!

Life with small children is relentless. It's gets easier once they start school.