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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Split from my partner today, aibu not letting him back in the house

65 replies

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 22:32

I have wrote a few posts on here the past couple of weeks regarding my relationship so won’t go into the full detail but I have finally left him and now he’s is being really cruel to me.

Not only have I been unhappy in my relationship but also my mum is currently in hospital for the foreseeable as she has been going through cancer treatment and other health issues and we’re not really sure what’s going on, my head has been absolutely all over the place.

My partner has gone out to the pub and is texting me and trying to call me arguing with me, calling me names, I’m a ‘rat’ apparently, he’s being really really nasty. I’ve told him I don’t want him to come back tonight because I’m really upset about my mum and can’t deal with arguing but he’s saying I will have to call the police if I want him out. Am I being unreasonable locking the door and making him find somewhere else to stay?

OP posts:
swingingbytheseat · 30/01/2026 22:35

whose house is it ?
im sorry you’re having such a tough time 🌹

plentyofsunshine · 30/01/2026 22:37

Who does the house belong to

Sorry about your mum I have cancer too and my son in law was an absolute unhelpful and unsupportive pig to my daughter when I was at my most ill. She is divorcing him now. She changed the locks but the house is in her name only.

plentyofsunshine · 30/01/2026 22:39

What do you think his reaction would be to you locking him out. He could call the police potentially. Are there children in the house?

Pearlstillsinging · 30/01/2026 22:39

If his name is on the mortgage or tenancy, you can't legally stop him going home BUT you could accidentally lock the door and put the bolt on/leave the key in the lock, if you have understood that he isn't intending to go home tonight, while you come to terms with your mums illness.

SwanRivers · 30/01/2026 22:40

No-one can answer without knowing whether he has a legal right to be there.

JohnofWessex · 30/01/2026 22:42

AFAIK if you are married then irrespective of who is the owner/tenant he has the right to occupy the matrimonial home.

JohnofWessex · 30/01/2026 22:44

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SwanRivers · 30/01/2026 22:47

JohnofWessex · 30/01/2026 22:42

AFAIK if you are married then irrespective of who is the owner/tenant he has the right to occupy the matrimonial home.

If the OP was married, I suspect she would've said she'd split from her husband today, rather than her partner.

Pistachiocake · 30/01/2026 22:51

I'm sorry about your mum. In your situation I would go and stay with a friend tonight, so you can get some support, but I can't give any legal advice, only saying what I would do personally.

NotnowMildrid · 30/01/2026 22:51

Is the house in your name only?

gamerchick · 30/01/2026 22:54

As has been said, it depends on who owns/rents.

However. If he turns up pissed and causes trouble. Ring the police to come and get him until he sobers up.

SunMoonandChocolate · 30/01/2026 22:58

You're not being unreasonable in wanting to lock him out tonight OP, but as you say you've 'Split from my partner today', we need to know whether he actually lives with you full time, whether he is likely to be violent, and also as others have said, whether the house is in joint names, and/or whether you own or rent, before we can give you any more useful advice.

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 23:07

I live in a council house which is in my name, he’s just been back trying to kick the door down

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 30/01/2026 23:08

Daisychain67 · 30/01/2026 23:07

I live in a council house which is in my name, he’s just been back trying to kick the door down

Call the police!

plentyofsunshine · 30/01/2026 23:15

@Daisychain67 I remember your other thread and would urge you to call the police. Make this stop once and for all.

I remember being a terrified 8 year old in my bed while my mums boyfriend was smashing the house up. Just ring them.

44PumpLane · 30/01/2026 23:16

If his name is not on the tenancy then it is your home only- call the police immediately as he is being violent.

Tangelablue · 30/01/2026 23:25

Once the police have been and dealt with your ex, it might be a good idea to look into getting a non molestation order. NCDV will be able to help.
Hopefully the police will give him bail conditions so he can't come near your home.

coconutpie · 30/01/2026 23:27

Call the police now.

CactusSwoonedEnding · 30/01/2026 23:43

House in your name = he has no right to enter the property and yes you should call the police if he doesn't leave you alone.

FuzzyWolf · 30/01/2026 23:43

If he doesn’t have the legal right to be in the house then YANBU.

whynotwhatknot · 31/01/2026 00:00

nope do not let him in call the police-he has no rights

Endofyear · 31/01/2026 00:08

I hope you have called the police and told them you are in immediate danger. Don't let him come in and don't take him back when he does the inevitable crying/apology/saying how much he loves you!

Catladywithacat · 31/01/2026 00:14

Just call police and get rid of him for good

Bananalanacake · 31/01/2026 00:14

He's a partner not a husband. Did he pay towards rent and bills. If his name isn't on the tenancy he has no right to be there.

TeaAndTattoos · 31/01/2026 00:33

Call the police he’s being violent he has no right to be in the house when it’s solely in your name and the police will tell him the same thing.

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