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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Girls arriving and leaving work early morning late evening

322 replies

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 09:35

I know I'll probably be told off but just for traffic posting on here.

My husband and I run a company and we have two younger girls who run the office with us.

Husband and I are going away for three weeks for a wedding and making a family holiday of it as it's over the other side of the world.

We have an office that's on an industrial estate and is very dark and not well lit in the mornings and evenings- and we start early due to the nature of the business 5.30/6am to get all the boys in and out with job pack if they are required on the day.

Normally we pick the girls up on the way in and drop them home during the winter for safety as they are local.

I know it's probably over the top of me but we are worried about them feeling safe getting in and out on their own in the mornings and evenings (it is a sketchy South London Industrial estate)- does anyone have any suggestions to make them feel a bit safer. We have a ring camera set up on the door of the office.

None of the boys can bring them in as they have material to pick up.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 29/01/2026 15:31

Dollymylove · 29/01/2026 15:21

Deep heat spray is legal though, and will give similar results 😉

That's useful to know

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 15:32

Can you pay your son to collect them and take them in?

StrangerThingsHappenRoundTheTwist · 29/01/2026 15:32

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 14:42

No, my entire thread was asking for extra safety advice for two lovely employees who I listen to every Monday about walking home drunk, giving them advice on men who they are talking to and what behaviour not to tolerate, helping them book appointments for things they don't know how to do because they are YOUNG.

So yes, fine, I'll be patronising, because they are like family not just employees; as with all my other staff who have been with us since the beginning, resulting in hardly any staff turnover and only losing a couple of staff members due to country moves or retirement. So patronising we may sound, but we must be doing something spectacularly right.

We also offer the boys extended paternity leave (Paid). Does that mean we are mollycoddling them as well 😂

Edited

Why are you drawing false equivencies? That just makes you look ridiculous

You asked how to patronise two young women who clearly do know how to get around safely if they go out drinking etc

StrangerThingsHappenRoundTheTwist · 29/01/2026 15:34

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 15:26

I wouldn’t have presented it as an offer.

I would have said “in our extended absence, I had arranged for Taxis to collect you at the same time we do” @OneCheeryGoldMoose

"And we don't want a taxi, we are able to travel in ourselves, don't patronise me"

Would be my reply

You give them the option of a taxi, you don't force it

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 15:36

StrangerThingsHappenRoundTheTwist · 29/01/2026 15:34

"And we don't want a taxi, we are able to travel in ourselves, don't patronise me"

Would be my reply

You give them the option of a taxi, you don't force it

And I’d had said - fair enough.

And then not given it one iota further thought

StrangerThingsHappenRoundTheTwist · 29/01/2026 15:39

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 29/01/2026 14:54

Personal alarms, bespoke security guard for two women, chaperones, rape alarms, whistles, (illegal) pepper spray - I've heard it all. In any case, young men (16-24) are more likely to be victims of violent crime than women of the same age (although unremarkably women are more likely to be victims of sexual offences).

We are in the middle of the city centre, there was a spate of issues so we had the chance to pick up personal alarms. Male or female. It was our choice though.

giallo · 29/01/2026 15:40

HolesInTheAlbertHall · 29/01/2026 09:44

If they are over 18 then I would trust that they can risk assess for themselves.

Nice of you to offer, patronising for you to not listen to them.

If they are over 18 they are also women, not girls.

StrangerThingsHappenRoundTheTwist · 29/01/2026 15:40

Currentskin · 29/01/2026 15:32

Can you pay your son to collect them and take them in?

That would open up a whole other can of worms regarding insurance!

Minjou · 29/01/2026 15:45

Boys and girls who need grown ups to.chaffeur.them?

Why are you employing children?

DottyLottieLou · 29/01/2026 15:54

Oh good grief. Nothing wrong with calling people boys and girls if they don't mind. Nothing wrong with caring about their safety. The world has gone to.pot, or is it just mumsnetters looking for something to ge offended about. 🤣🤣🤣

Floundering66 · 29/01/2026 15:59

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 10:25

That is what they call each other.....that's what we all call each other and every other person I know in the same trade calls each other. The girls in the office and the boys out on the road. Not once since my husband was 15 and worked in the trade and is now 40 has anyone every been taken to court for it.

I will let my staff know to stop swearing at my husband and I in a banterish manner in case we want to take them to court....

Edited

I work in construction and it’s always the “boys on site” calling the “girls in the office” - ages range from 18-70 😂

BrucieBru · 29/01/2026 16:00

My god some people on this site are unbearable! Both me and my colleague are 43 and I still refer to her as “the girl I work with” 😂

Ophy83 · 29/01/2026 16:03

If they're arriving together that should be fine. Get a ring camera and security lights for your peace of mind.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/01/2026 16:08

Minjou · 29/01/2026 15:45

Boys and girls who need grown ups to.chaffeur.them?

Why are you employing children?

You must be a blast in social settings. 👏

Watchingthechaseagain · 29/01/2026 16:23

Op you sound like a caring, friendly, reasonable employer. Do you have any jobs going?

Christmasinmecar · 29/01/2026 16:31

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 09:52

Ah I am not meaning to sound patronising about boys and girls- that's just what we all call each other. If that's offended some people you would have a breakdown with the rest of the things we all call each other lol.

I'm just concerned about the safety of my young employees not trying to be a controlling employer ffs.

Can't make out why some posters get their knickers in a twist over these expressions🙄
Boys night out, night in with the girls etc. It's never going to change and majority of peeps will always say it. But that's another thread, don't mean to derail OP, as you were....

museumum · 29/01/2026 16:56

Ignoring all the stuff about their ages and terminology - You should have an official 'lone working' policy for the male staff as well as female. In the event that one is sick while you're away that should kick in. I'd suggest they must get a taxi if they are not travelling together. Do they open up / lock up? if so there's additional worry about burglary and they definitely shouldn't be alone.

SapphireSeptember · 29/01/2026 17:00

Oh, @OneCheeryGoldMoose , you and your husband sound lovely. 😊

In the last Strike novel there was a recipe for homemade pepper spray. 🤣 Apparently it was meant to be used as a pesticide.

Daygloboo · 29/01/2026 17:01

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 09:41

They are currently refusing to let us as they said they'll come in together and be fine but I am still concerned lol.

It'll be ok if they are together.

Daygloboo · 29/01/2026 17:04

Babaar · 29/01/2026 11:53

Sad reflection of our times that anyone would see kindness as being patronising.

Babaar

BotterMon · 29/01/2026 17:10

Honestly some of these responses are extremely funny. Do these people not live in the real world or maybe have never worked?

ETA - your workplace sounds a lot of fun and you sound a fabulous employer.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/01/2026 17:19

OneCheeryGoldMoose · 29/01/2026 14:42

No, my entire thread was asking for extra safety advice for two lovely employees who I listen to every Monday about walking home drunk, giving them advice on men who they are talking to and what behaviour not to tolerate, helping them book appointments for things they don't know how to do because they are YOUNG.

So yes, fine, I'll be patronising, because they are like family not just employees; as with all my other staff who have been with us since the beginning, resulting in hardly any staff turnover and only losing a couple of staff members due to country moves or retirement. So patronising we may sound, but we must be doing something spectacularly right.

We also offer the boys extended paternity leave (Paid). Does that mean we are mollycoddling them as well 😂

Edited

Hmmmm, South London Industrial estate, you say. Friendly environment, employee welfare a high priority, sounds like job security is good..

Have you got any office/data/admin/accounts/work Auntie/honorary Auntie vacancies at the moment?

Asking for DP me

Femalemachinest · 29/01/2026 17:24

Don't worry OP where i work theres only 3 females working at booking in and we all say "the girls in the back room" If referring to all of them.

YouHaveAnArse · 29/01/2026 17:35

Honestly, I have to say I feel less safe in a taxi than I do on public transport when travelling alone - getting into a car with a male stranger makes me feel really vulnerable in a way a nightbus with CCTV etc does not, regardless of whether it was booked in advance etc. So I kind of get them not wanting to take the cab.

YouHaveAnArse · 29/01/2026 17:35

Honestly, I have to say I feel less safe in a taxi than I do on public transport when travelling alone - getting into a car with a male stranger makes me feel really vulnerable in a way a nightbus with CCTV etc does not, regardless of whether it was booked in advance etc. So I kind of get them not wanting to take the cab.

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