What the fuck is wrong with parents?

[TheBlueKoala]

Not fat shaming. Just pointing out the obvious: obesity is a serious health problem. So now we got WLI for adults who need medical assistance to eat less. But why are they giving shit to their children? You can't say it's because you can't resist it- not your body. I think it should be a reason for a safeguard alert when you have an obese 4 year old. SS should get involved just as if someone would be starving their child because it's parental neglect to serve your children shit and make them face a future of illnesses and eating disorders. AIBU?

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2026/jan/25/uk-gp-obese-children-research

It's not crap. It's scientifically proven that obese children are twice as likely to be obese adults. That's the evidence of damage right there.

I think it just shows how far the reach of noxious convenience food companies is that they have got to children this young, through their parents.

If parents are fat it makes sense that their kids would be though as both nature and nurture are at play. What I don't understand, aside from any particular health conditions is when the parents are slim and health conscious and their kids are fat. There was one girl in the year below DD1 and her weight ballooned from the age of 8+, and she was obese by Y6. The mum was very slim and always running and doing exercise classes, and I wondered how on earth that happens. It did make me wonder about some weird thing where she didn't want her daughter to be more attractive, so was feeding her all sorts of crap.

My mother in law and husband had (and have) the same build- wide shoulders wide rib cage thick legs, a propensity to put on weight.

both children were a healthy weight by 11.

my MiL and DH have to work very hard to remain a healthy or overweight category. Far harder than I recognise with my own body

my children will have to work just as hard and were better able to do that when they were a little older. I feel sorry for them though, as they’ll be unable to relax it for their whole lives. It’s just the way some people are.

Yep. And obviously, twice as likely isn’t all obese children. So yes, pretending they need SS support in the absence of any actual impacts, is ridiculous. And crap.

Tbh as a clinician when I see obese children I usually see parents who are overwhelmed, working long hours or providing care or who are disabled. Not always but in lots of cases.

Sometimes parents are overweight too (but not always) and in those cases the above usually applies as well,

100% agree it’s a further symptom of parents who can’t say no to their kids! And then absolutely failing to take any responsibility for it, hence people saying schools should be teaching this that and the other or that the government should be doing more etc etc etc It’s really not rocket science! I’m a teacher and would always encourage the children to eat their healthy lunch before any treats and had a child one day absolutely baffled looking into his lunch box and asked me what he should eat first because he had nothing “healthy”! (He had Nutella sandwiches, cream crackers with Nutella and a pain au chocolat!) if a 9 year old can figure that out himself then there’s no excuse for the parent!

What? I am talking about awful parents making their children obese- whether said parents are fat or skinny. This is clearly a sensitive subject for you but please stay factual instead of projecting.

You are literally fucking their metabolism up for life by feeding them shit and making them obese as small children.

Is this actually, scientifically true? Not the link between obese children and adults, but the idea that it's due to their metabolism being messed up?

I'm asking because as a former overweight child, slim adult, I always thought the opposite. That my body had basically gone "plenty of food around, no need to slow down metabolism" (especially as it was nutritious food, not junk) and thus as an adult I perhaps have a faster metabolism than my peers, and find it relatively easy to maintain a healthy weight.

I thought the link between being overweight as a child and later as an adult was to do with poor eating habits and a preference for unhealthy food forming in childhood.

It’s not true no. Your “metabolism” is a series of complex cell level chemical reactions. They’re not that simplistic.

I think parents that care about food whether they don’t have money or not end up with kids that understand food as adults.
As a child that had only healthy food but no USF ( lived rurally -UPF was a rare treat ) I loved eating crap as a young adult treat. It’s easy to stop though because you know you can live without it.

I think it’s going to harder for those whose parents aren’t interested in food. They feeding crap because it mealtimes. I know fat adults that “ hate vegetable's”. Where can you go if that’s what your life experience is?

Thank you for your comment, but IMO the odd bit of white sugar & butter on an irregular occasion never does anyone harm it's only if you have it on a regular basis that it can harm you. Also DH & one of my builders have problems with teeth & can't manage flapjacks or anything with 'bits' in them such as granola that kind of thing.

We must be a similar vintage. I did an 'O'level in Cookery and Nutrition in 1978.

TBH I think I taught myself more useful cookery skills once I was left home and cooking for myself than I ever really did at school. I suppose we learnt techniques and then applied them to a dish, but I don't remember doing complete meals. We did quite a bit of baking I think. Perhaps it just gave me the confidence to try things and follow a recipe.

One of the most useful skills it taught me was how to make a time plan. I still do for a special meal or if entertaining. DH saw me do it in our early married life and it obviously clicked with him because he started to do it too when he cooks.

I don't know how you were given too much chocolate and snacked but still weren't overweight. But it certainly isn't the same for everyone. You say it caught up with you at puberty, how do you find it now eating healthily after that start in life?

I don't know either! I was tall so maybe that helped? We had such bad lunches at school back then as well-it was chips and cheese every single day with a coke from age 11 (primary school was probably better) they did introduce a salad bar when I was in Y9 but of course hardly anyone went to it!

I don't eat healthily now either-I do have food issues. Still no take-aways or puddings though except on special occasions. I'm in the normal weight range...just about lol. I've gone up and down from 9st to 12st over the years so across the range of a healthy BMI and just into overweight.

I was always slightly overweight as a kid and teen. For that reason I loathe the BMI charts/monitoring because it always seemed so unfair that I ate a healthy diet, not full of crisps and sweets like others, but still had the shame of being fat. Also isn't it done by percentage? So someone is always going to be biggest, even if they're not fat? It's often mentioned on here that you should be able to see a child's ribs, but who decided that was healthy? Was it based on malnourished children from 1920 or something?!

Sorry you had that experience. Honestly I think a lot is down to genes-my family are all slim. We had an old doctors book and their weights for girls and women in there were crazy. They seemed to think no girl/woman grew taller than 5ft4 or weighed over 10st! If you ate healthy then really no reason to feel bad-I can see why that would be upsetting though.

Anyway. Being fed a healthy diet, not snacking, allowed "treat" food only in moderation ... and I find it pretty easy to stay a healthy weight as an adult.

Agree. I think snacking can contribute to being overweight but if a young child is literally obese I think there has to be something more going on. Either a medical issue or far too big portion sizes-perhaps snacking on top of that as well.

Out‑of‑control capitalism has created an economy that rewards profit above all else, pushing food manufacturers to churn out ultra‑processed, chemical‑laden products designed to maximise consumption rather than nourish people. These foods are engineered to be addictive. it’s unreasonable to blame individuals for eating what is relentlessly marketed, normalised, and pushed at them at every opportunity

hmm - as someone who was a fat child and became a fat adult no I don’t think my parents neglected me in the manner that people who starve their kids at all. I have no doubt they could have done better on that front but then isn’t a bit of a case of find a parent who has done nothing wrong at all and you can win your very own unicorn?

UPF intake has dramatically increased during early childhood, with toddlers and school-aged children obtaining 47 % and 59.4 % of their daily calories, respectively, from UPFs. Higher consumption is linked to pediatric obesity, cardiometabolic risks such as insulin resistance and metabolic dysfunction-associated steatotic liver disease (MASLD), mental health concerns, and gut microbiome disruption. Early-life exposure to UPFs can establish unhealthy dietary patterns that persist into adulthood, raising the risk of chronic disease.

Taken from this study https://share.google/WjENSmLqSPDApp3Gw

So yes, feeding young kids shit and making them obese as small children does damage their bodies and metabolisms making it much more difficult for them to be healthy in adulthood.

It takes a phenomenal amount of mental energy to battle against the constant presence of UPF foods everywhere. Add to that the fact providing a family meal is often an afterthought between working adults and not the primary focus of one parents day. It's very easy to talk about doing the right thing but sadly if something saves 5 minutes prep it's seen as a win. Of course they can make time, people spend so much time on phones, they could spend more time on food prep but the time of the day is a big factor. Rushing in the morning, rushing at dinner time to get kids fed. If people had the afternoon free they could do it all properly.

Then factor in that even with parents home, children are not allowed play when they want to because as a society we don't let them. Ideally children would be sent out to play for an hour while the parents prepared a meal, but we expect the parents to stand and watch them play then cook while interacting with demanding and hungry children. Parents have to choose between one or the other, outside play and quick meal v no outside play and home cooked. It's sad really, we have been so obsessed with safety without any balance that we now have generations of unhealthy obese children.