Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to bring this up, or should I just move on?

103 replies

TheBerry · 28/01/2026 18:40

A few days ago preschool DD was having a friend round for a playdate (her second ever playdate).

DH took her to her club first thing while I watched the baby. I did some tidying while they were gone and wanted to bake some brownies afterwards before friend arrived. I'd told DH the day before I'd like to spend the morning getting things set up for the playdate.

DH said he wanted to get ready, have a shower, etc. He can faff sometimes so I said, "please don't take too long, a shower only needs to take 15 minutes." He said ok. He didn't seem annoyed by the request or anything.

Anyway, he took an hour so I didn't have time to make the brownies. I really couldn't do it while wrangling DD and the baby.

I just felt upset that on this one occasion he couldn't just have tried to be a bit quicker when I specifically asked. I don't normally ask him stuff like that, he can take his time, but just on this one occasion I'd wanted him to hurry a bit. I feel like he heard what I said, understood, said ok, and then just totally disregarded the whole thing. Didn't even attempt to be quick. I feel like if it had been the other way around he'd have been raging.

I did raise it with him straight away but he got annoyed, said it was an unreasonable request, and that he'd had to shave, shower, cut his nails, etc. I said that even if he'd said something like, "oh, I'm so sorry, is it ok if I take a bit longer because of xxxx" instead of saying ok and then ignoring it then I'd have felt a bit better about it. He said he didn't know how long he was going to take until he was up there.

Anyway I'm still just feeling kind of sad. It's not about the brownies obviously, just about him making exactly 0 effort to even meet me halfway. Whereas if it had been the other way around and he'd made that request I'd have been anxiously rushing as much as possible to not keep him waiting.

Not sure whether to raise it again to discuss it with him or just let it go.

OP posts:
venus7 · 30/01/2026 11:57

Candlestickinthediningroom · 30/01/2026 11:55

You didn't really discuss anything. You just left a critical, passive aggressive comment. My point stands - kindness costs nothing.

Thank you; I'll keep that in mind.

TheBerry · 30/01/2026 12:19

I do feel at this point I need to reiterate that I was being somewhat facetious about the dread. Should've put a lol.

OP posts:
SiberFox · 30/01/2026 19:21

OP you go out of your way to please some random child and their parent while also showing little empathy towards your partner. Who likes to be ordered around like this? Then you make a fuss out of it too and still you wouldn’t let it go, you want to get enough votes to come back to bash your DH for daring to take care of himself instead of anxiously rushing to wash his bits as quickly as possible to ensure 3 full hours to prepare for a play date. This stuff corrupts relationships

New posts on this thread. Refresh page