Would you leave?

[Daisychain67]

I’ve been with my partner for around 13 years. We were teenagers when we got together and are both turning 30 this year. We were in a long distance relationship for around 6 years where I went to him every single weekend. Our relationship has been really turbulent with him not treating me very nicely at the start, being unfaithful and generally a teenage boy. He’s grown out of allot of his bad traits but still doesn’t treat me how I want to be treated.

We have never been on a date, we have never been on a night out, never really done anything together apart from taking our DD to the cinema a couple of times a year or holidays that his rich brother books for us. I’ve told him endless times that I want to go out and I want us to have fun together. I don’t have any friends as we all went our separate ways after school and I got with him straight away.

He constantly says he’ll do better but anytime it’s raised it turns into an argument, he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them.
I feel like my life has been nothing and I’m turning 30 this year and have absolutely no memories of my late teens and 20’s.

What would you do in this situation?

You only get one life, do you really want to hand it over to this loser? You let him treat you badly at the start and there is no way he is going to change now. Free yourself, while you are still young.

Honestly OP he will continue to treat you just how he wants to as long as he knows you will put up with it. Which you have so far.

You are worth so much more. So don't let this man spoil any more of your life.

Why not start by finding out how you would cope financially without him, and what life could look like if you ended your relationship?

if you say everything you say here what does he say? Do you think you still love him?

What do you think we’re going to say?

I think you’re mad to put up with this for so long to be honest

Leave the loser.

Also I would reach out for counselling after dumping him, staying with someone who treats you like this for half your life is worrying and there must be self esteem issues to work on moving forward x

Whether you leave him or not you need to start living your life with you daughter and having fun together. You don’t need him to go out, she’ll need more than a couple of cinema trips. Go places, do things, see things, experience things.

Jesus , you’re lovely & young .
Leave now .
He doesn’t want to go out because you’re too good looking & he will get in a fight !
Wtf are you wasting your life with this idiot for .
You can & will do better x

This. You sound very passive OP. Why haven’t you booked days out or dates?

"He constantly says he’ll do better but anytime it’s raised it turns into an argument, he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them."

He's still the immature boy who treated you so unkindly at the start of your relationship. He hasn't grown up and I doubt he ever will. To put it less politely, why the hell are you still with this fuck-witted manchild?

If you stay you are throwing your life away on this loser - can you imagine another 50 / 60 years of living like this? What a waste of your 20s! Don't make the same mistake with your 30s / 40s etc.

OF COURSE I would leave. What a needlessly miserable life for both you and your dd. I would have left about 1 week in tbf. Life is so wonderful, enjoy it. I have no idea why you wouldn’t leave.

OP, my relationship with my DDs father was the same as yours. Met as teens, he never took me on a date or anything like that. We were together for 17 years. I remember saying to my best friend, at the beginning (she still is), “What if I am still with him in 10 years”, and I was. Shame on me!

Anyway when I was 30 and DD was 3, I had an epithany and finished with him for good! I am 59 now, and I have never met a man as useless as that one, since!

End it today and do something nice for your 30th!

Can you support yourself? Do you have a job and colleagues? If so I'd start going out with them. It isn't up to your partner. He isn't your boss or your owner.

If you are a sahm, leaving may be a bit more complicated but yes, I would leave. You've spent more than a decade having no fun and no real life at all. That is no way to live.

Actually I’ve worked out my own question of ‘why wouldn’t you leave’. It must be because you’re scared, you’ve never adulted alone. I can promise you, from someone who has lived a lot longer, adulting alone will be approximately 1 trillion times a nicer life than this. And, you can make sure your dd doesn’t waste her 20s on a man who isn’t good enough the same way you have.

he’s also told me we can’t do anything that involves alcohol because I’m too ‘good looking’ and other men will look at me and he will end up fighting them.

WTF?! This is really not the compliment you probably think it is. Also, men who think like this generally do so because of how THEY behave. As in, HE probably goes out to perve on other women.

Just leave. He sounds absolutely pathetic and abusive. He thinks he can stop you from ever having friends or doing anything fun by saying he'll get violent with strangers if you go anywhere with him? Yeah that's reasonable.

Stupid arsehole. Don't wasn't another minute with him. Just tell him straight, my life with you is a pointless misery. You have no redeeming features and you don't care about my feelings whatsoever. So we're splitting up.

You deserve to enjoy your life. This loser is just dragging you down

Have you got mates? Can you afford to go out? What is your working and financial position?
Does he go out?

@Daisychain67 I have just seen the amount of threads you have made about this man in the last month. Seriously... Come on. He sounds like an absolute fucking prick.

You’ve wasted you many good years on this loser. Please don’t waste any more

Just quoting my own post now that I have read your other threads which confirm what I thought.

So this delight of a gentleman has previously been unfaithful, moved out, then you've taken him back, he "raps" (ick) about how other women want him and how attractive they are and, although he doesn't allow you to go out, he goes out with his friends a lot?

You do know he's probably cheating on you don't you? Men (and I use that term loosely) like this never change.

The reason he doesn't want you to go out is because he knows when him and his mates go out that they are looking for a shag. And therefore thinks all men are like him.

30 is the year you took your life back. You decided never to compromise your hopes and aspirations for a shit relationship. The year you decided never to be with a shitty man child ever again.

After seeing comments about your previous threads I had a look.

JFC OP - you do realise he’s a lying cheating jealous insecure controlling abusive deluded cunt don’t you?

Your first paragraph was enough, but honestly, reading the rest of it…what is your reason for staying?